Lynn Gordon - 52® Tips for New Parents
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- Book:52® Tips for New Parents
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- Publisher:Chronicle Books
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- Year:2013
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These 52 practical tips are just the thing to help new parents ease into parenthood, including suggestions for ways to reduce isolation, calm a screamer, and make sure you keep your social life.
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For someone who weighs under twenty pounds, an infant takes up a tremendous amount of space, especially when you figure in the crib, changing table, dresser, playpen, swing, stroller, highchair, and acres of toys. Unless you are planning to move into a thirteen-room mansion anytime soon, you may need to get creative about your space management. Purge your closets of unwanted, space-wasting items. Build high shelves in bedrooms and closets to store items to which you dont need regular access. Use decorative baskets and boxes for storage around the house. When your baby outgrows anything, pass it along to the next set of parents before it even has a chance to get cold.
Sure youre tired; sure youve got other things on your mind. But its a good idea to take a moment each day for you and your partner to remember what brought you here in the first place. Try to have one conversation a day where no one uses the words baby, diapers, money, or housework. Skip the dishes once in a while, crawl into bed early, and remember what its like to hug and kiss each other. The creation of a child is a terrific bond between two people, and keeping your romantic connection alive will make family life even better.
In an ideal world your baby would doze off the second you pull out of your driveway, and traffic would clear when they see you coming. In case this doesnt happen, outfitting your car with a few essentials will help you get through a sudden traffic jam or an impromptu crying fit. It may be better to pull over and calm the baby than to drive when distracted.
- Neck-support cushion to use with the child safety seat
- Hand mirror to see whats going on in the back seat
- Sunshades for side windows
- Pacifier
- A mantra, quote, or joke taped onto your visor to remind yourself that you will survive
Chances are, you will be so exhausted that the sight of a sleeping infant will make your eyelids instantly snap shut. If not, try one of the following:
- Drink a cup of chamomile tea.
- Have a cup of warm milk with honey.
- Soak in a hot bath with a few drops of lavender oil.
- Get regular exercisethis is important!
- Keep pen and paper by your bedside to write out your to-do list instead of obsessing about it.
- If you cant sleep, dont lay in bed; read until you feel sleepy, then try again.
- If you are perpetually unable to sleep, consult your doctor.
- Stay away from sleeping pills if you are nursing since they will transfer to the baby through your milk.
- This is only a phase.
- He has to fall asleep sometime.
- Your baby is crying.
- It all goes by so fast.
- We know never to do that again.
- Go to sleep, shut your eyes, the sandman is coming
- Its your turn.
- This really was a good idea.
- Babies have no agenda.
- My baby isnt doing this just to bother me.
Make your own world as comfortable as possible. This is especially important at a time when you are giving so much of yourself to nurture another creature. Surround yourself with things that make you feel good: the food you like to eat, clothes that feel good on your body, music you like to hear. Create comfortable sleep environments for you and your child. Buy a few extra pillows and comfy blankets that can be easily tossed into the washer. Fit your bedroom windows with curtains that will keep out the light if you need to sleep during the day. Maintaining a cozy atmosphere will help keep everybody on an even keel.
As a new parent youll need to get organized if you want to accomplish anything beyond eating, sleeping, and changing diapers. These tips may help:
- Hang a small dry-erase board in the kitchen to create an ongoing list of things that need to get done.
- Prioritize tasks by numbering them, but try not to get frustrated when your baby repeatedly elbows his way to the top of your to-do list.
- Limit the length of phone calls and time spent in front of the TV so you can accomplish the things that will give you a deeper sense of satisfaction at the end of the day.
Becoming a parent doesnt mean you have to spend the next four years pushing a swing at the playground. Babies were designed to be portable. When they are still infants, they wont care if you spend the day at the museum or the zoo. Go ahead, meet your friends for lunch (feed your baby before you go). After lunch, duck into a matinee while she is napping. If your baby starts to get fussy you can always step into the lobby for a few minutes until she quiets down. You dont want to subject the rest of the world to a screaming infant if you can help it, but dont let a few normal baby squeaks keep you from venturing out.
Before the commercial baby food industry was developed, people mashed up food with the back of their forks and fed it to their babies. A simple blender and basic home cooking is all you need to make your own baby food, which generally tastes better and is more nutritious than what is available on the grocery store shelf. For added convenience, blend and freeze the baby food in ice cube trays for individual portions, then transfer the frozen cubes to plastic freezer bags. Thaw and warm in an egg-poaching pan or in the microwave. For more tips and recipes, check out The Well Fed Baby Cookbook by O. Robin Sweet and Thomas A. Bloom.
When you realize that most of your days conversations are made up of animal noises, it may be time to get out more. Make the effort to stay in touch with your longtime friends. They may not be sure how they fit into your new life, so help guide them. Invite them over and put the baby in their laps. Plan regular outings to the park where you know other parents will be with their children. Make play dates with friends and acquaintances who have children; your babies can play while you visit. A casual chat with another adult may be all the reassurance you need to help you feel part of the world again.
Yes, parenting is hardperhaps the most difficult thing you have ever done. You are doing a great job, really you are. Considering the fact that you havent slept through the night since your child arrived and your clothes are dribbled with spit-up, you are holding it all together quite well. And another thing: All this waking up in the middle of the night and having your body used as a jungle gym is temporary. Someday your child will be grown and this will all be over. Even though this may be difficult to foresee, someday you will miss these moments. Now read this card again.
Anything you can do to keep both hands free and still accomplish what you need to is a good idea. Tuck the baby into a sling or Baby Bjorn. He will be content to be close to your body and you will be free to go about your life. Choose a backpack-style diaper bag. Use a headset with your telephone so you can conduct your business and move freely around the house while bouncing a baby or changing a diaper.
Carving out time to spend in the company of your beloved, away from the stresses of parenthood, will be a healthy diversion for everyone. Convince, cajole, or pay someone to babysit your child on a regular schedule so that you and your partner can spend time alone. Whether you go out once a week or once a month, youll enjoy having a date to look forward to. Just because you have to plan your moments of spontaneous romance doesnt mean you wont enjoy them. Take a walk on the beach, see a movie, or dine at your favorite restaurant. Just dont spend the entire time talking about the baby.
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