Gary Greenberg - Be Prepared: A Practical Handbook for New Dads

Also by Gary Greenberg

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(with Jonathan Bines)

A Practical Handbook for New Dads

Gary Greenberg
Jeannie Hayden

Simon & Schuster

Simon & Schuster Paperbacks
Rockefeller Center
1230 Avenue of the Americas
New York, NY 10020
www.SimonandSchuster.com

Copyright 2004 by Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden

All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form.

First Simon & Schuster paperback edition 2004

S IMON & S CHUSTER P APERBACKS and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-800-456-6798 or business@simonandschuster.com.

Designed and illustrated by Jeannie Hayden

Manufactured in the United States of America

10 9

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Greenberg, Gary.

Be prepared : a practical handbook for new dads / Gary Greenberg and Jeannie Hayden.

p. cm.

Includes index.

1. Fatherhood. 2. Fathers. 3. Father and child. I. Hayden, Jeannie. II. Title.

HQ756.G7 2004

306.8742dc22

2004045156

ISBN 10: 0-7432-5154-7
ISBN-13: 978-0-743-25154-9
eISBN: 978-1-439-10332-6

This publication contains the opinions and ideas of its authors. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the publication. It is sold with the understanding that the authors and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical, health, or any other kind of personal professional services in the book. You should refer to your pediatrician all matters that may require medical attention, diagnosis, or treatment and consult with other competent professionals with regard to all other matters in this book.

The authors and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, that is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book.

This book is dedicated to our grandparents, William and Anna Barkin, Morris and Esther Greenberg, Margaret Hayden, Fran Hille, and Daniel and Johanna White. Were better parents and better people because of your warmth, generosity, and unshakable sense of humor.

Congratulations, and welcome to the brotherhood of fatherhood.

For thousands of years dads have roamed the earth, hunting, gathering, trudging through the fields day after day in order to provide for their families any way they could. But it wasnt until the last quarter of a century that dads began to put down their spears and take an active role in the day-to-day duties of raising a child. So if women seem more natural at bringing up babies, its only because theyve had a huge head start.

The truth is that all those centuries of hunting gave men a skill set perfectly suited to new fatherhood. Patience, cunning, stamina, and on-the-spot improvisation play a major role in both stalking prey and baby raising. And much like a beast of the field, a baby is a very unpredictable creature, prone to wild mood swings and cranky tirades.

But raw skills alone dont make a great dad. Being prepared is the keyknowing how to handle every possible SNABU (Situation Normal All Babied Up) that can arise in a given day, and being able to implement Plans B and C when Plan A falls flat. A prepared dad can venture out into the world with the wind in his face and the baby strapped to his back, confident in the knowledge that he is ready for anything. The goal of this book is to foster that confidence.

Within these pages youll learn tactics essential to keeping your little squirt healthy and happy and you and your partner mentally stable. Some of the procedures may seem a bit strange at first, but rest assured: everything in this book has been thoroughly researched, dad-tested, and baby-approved. Furthermore, everything in the book has been approved by several distinguished fellows of the American Academy of Pediatrics.

At its heart, Be Prepared is a how-to manual. Its not the kind of book that gets emotional and touchy-feely about the father-baby relationship. And although we freely admit that sharing your babys first year is one of the most exciting, life-affirming experiences youll ever have, we also know that youve got a lot to learn in a short amount of time. So well stick to the nuts and bolts, and leave the sentiment to you.

Now hoist up your diaper bag and get moving.

The picture here is what a lot of dads imagine their newborns will look like: a big, healthy, well-formed miniature version of themselves. But this is actually a picture of a three-month-old. Fresh-out-of-the-womb newborns look very different. As a matter of fact, your newborn may not bear any resemblance to you, your partner, or any known members of your species.

To familiarize yourself with a newborns physical appearance, carefully study the picture on the following page. That way you wont be in for any surprises come delivery day. And since youll get a good view of the baby as its coming out, and your partner will not, shell probably be taking her cues from the look on your face. The last thing you want to do is freak her out for no reason.

Lets face it: when youre spending time with your newborn, youve got to find ways to make your own fun. Conducting a field test of his reflexes is a perfect way to do just that. Youll come away with a greater appreciation of his skills, and youll have some cool party tricks to pull out at the next family gathering.

Though he looks helpless, your newborn comes pre-programmed with a complete set of reflexes that help him search for and secure food, avoid danger, and extricate himself from sticky situations. Now if you could just get him to change his own diaper.

Here are some of the more common reflexes and ways to test for them:

Stimulus: Stroke the babys cheek.

Response: He will turn his head toward the sensation.

Explanation: This helps the baby find the breast or bottle.