Chuck Weiner - Marilyn Manson: ’Talking’

PARENTS, UPBRINGING, SCHOOL, HOSPITAL, PERVERTED GRANDFATHER

I didnt have many friends, because I was one of the few bad kids. I wouldnt bow my head for prayer. I started misbehaving really badly, because I wanted to go to a normal school. When I did get kicked out, all the kids in my new school really wanted to kick my ass because they knew Id been to private school. OCTOBER 1996

When I was 12 or 13, playing Dungeons And Dragons was a big thing. It was also considered very bad for kids at the time in America - people were blaming it for everything from children killing themselves to cult associations. But the key to it is that, when youre role playing, you can be whoever you want to be. Which is what Marilyn Manson became to me. I didnt want to be me any more. Not because I was ashamed of myself - I just had the desire to be something else. OCTOBER 1996

You do what I do because you want attention. I dont want to over-analyse what I do, but it is a thinly-veiled cry for attention. I was just a kid, 14 years old, when I first started putting on my moms make-up and wearing Halloween masks in summer. I knew I was different, but it was also my way of getting noticed. All this stuff Im doing today is really no different, and no more harmful, than that. I just want the world to know Im here. APRIL 1997

All through my early years, my father kept telling me he would hire a prostitute for me to lose my virginity to on my 16th birthday. I was really scared at that prospect because I was scared of prostitutes, and so I tried my hardest to lose my virginity before I reached 16. I managed it just before I turned 16, and when I told my father it was too late for a prostitute to take my virginity I think he was a little disappointed. Knowing my father, I think he was serious about that idea. MAY 1997

(Losing my virginity) was kinda quick and ugly, and the girl wasnt very pretty, so it wasnt a momentous experience. I took this girl out to this deserted park one night and we lay down on the grass on the baseball ground and did it. I think that experience is part of the reason I dont like sport. MAY 1997

I had some experiences with a neighbour who used to make me take my clothes off, so any mention of child abuse has been me singing about my experiences and using music as an outlet. So its rather insulting when people think I promote something like that. Thats the type of childhood I had, not the type I would promote. It was an older boy. He made me play strange games with him but when I told my parents they confronted his family and they said I was lying - the same with my grandfather. It was something no-one really wanted to admit to. So I had a lot of suppressed anger because no-one believed me. MAY 1997

(My grandfather) had a lot of womens lingerie and sex toys like vibrators, and his pornography was pretty dark and hardcore - nothing as conventional asPlayboyorPenthouse, more like bestiality and S&M stuff. Discovering sex through pornography probably gave me a warped view of sexuality, and I kinda dislike pornography now. Im kind of embarrassed and not excited about topless bars and things like that. MAY 1997

(My grandfather) had throat cancer and growled through a tube in his neck. Hed wipe the spittle off with his handkerchief - the same one he masturbated into. The train set would run to cover up his growls. JUNE 1997

(As a child) I was very much fascinated and afraid by all movies revolving around supernatural things -The Exorcist, The Omen, Burnt OfferingsandTrilogy Of Terror- a lot of these movies that had to do with the unexplainable horror. At some point in my life I finally got over that. I dont sit up all night and ever worry about am I going to be punished for what I do?
I dont sit up at night and worry about is a sort of demon or Lucifer going to appear at the foot of my bed and burn me for all the things Ive done by day? I dont think of that any more. As a kid, that was something I was afraid of, that I was going to be possessed. You know, just filled with this terror of the supernatural, but its something now that I embrace. It doesnt terrify me at all. The only thing that scares me is going to themall.1997

Being in hospital kinda warped me, youre around dying people; deformed people; disturbed people; artificial limbs on sore stumps. I collect artificial limbs now - its one of my more recent hobbies. JUNE 1997

I remember being around a lot of crippled and disfigured people when I was young. My father and I would go to these gatherings of families from the Vietnam War and there were a lot of people who were allegedly affected by (allegedly toxic defoliant) Agent Orange (sprayed by US forces). There were kids with birth defects and I had to hang around them as a child. JULY 1997

My childhood was no worse than anybody elses. I was a sickly kid. I was in hospital four or five times with pneumonia. Later my mother became a nurse, so Ive always had a medical fascination. Ive inherited my fathers characteristics more. Hes always been a salesman, furniture mostly, and there is a bit of that PT Barnum quality to what I do.

JULY 1997

(My parents) are proud of the fact Im doing something that makes me happy. And they like it on their own level and theyre fans. Im sure they dont understand everything, but theyre supportive of it. Thats one thing that did get through to them, that they understand I dont have to be like them. Maybe I actually got something through to my own parents that dont be mad at me because Im not like you. How can you expect me to fit into this program you set up for me? Its not for me.

Sure, they wanted me to go to college and do something to fit into societys idea of what is worthwhile. But I think theyve changed their minds now they realise the kind of power Ive tapped into. I have something that makes me happy on some level and this is a good way for me to deal with the torment of what teenage life gave me. I think everybody obviously has a hard time growing up. Im no different than anyone else. I think thats why a lot of our young fans really relate to our songs because I understand. Im saying, Look, Ive been through it and I made it out. Now this is where Im at, so why cant you do the same? I think that gives them some kind of hope that they dont have to fall into the clich thatAfter School Specials, Eight Is EnoughandBaywatchwant them to fall into. 1997

My parents werent very strict but they sent me to a private Christian school. I was ostracised there and did my hardest to misbehave and get kicked out. During prayer when everybody had their heads bowed I used to steal money out of girls purses. There was one time I put a vibrator in my bible teachers desk!