Sandi Toksvig - The Tricky Art of Co-Existing: How to Behave Decently No Matter What Life Throws Your Way

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

SANDI TOKSVIG, OBE, is an award-winning writer, presenter, comedian, actress, and producer for British radio and television. Shes heard often on the BBC, for which she hosts numerous shows, including its long-running weekly quiz show. The author of more than twenty books of fiction and nonfiction for both adults and children, and a regular columnist for the UK edition of Good Housekeeping, Toksvig was named Chancellor of the University of Portsmouth in 2012. In March 2014 she was awarded the prestigious title of OBE (Officer of the Most Excellent Order of the British Empire).

Praise for
THE TRICKY ART OF CO-EXISTING

Sandi Toksvigs book is both educational and entertaining. Its a user-friendly approach to living, working and getting along in todays challenging business and social arenas. The Tricky Art of Co-Existing is a must-have!

Dorothea Johnson, founder of The Protocol School of Washington and co-author, with Liv Tyler, of Modern Manners

An entertaining guide to navigating lifes delicate moments that is as enjoyable as it is practical. No-nonsense advice shot through with quirky tales from history, eye-opening word origins, and the often humorous dictates of etiquette-makers going back centuriesDame Sandy Toksvig brings it all together with enough zing and zest to flavor a spicy curry. A wonderful, witty delight. Rarely have I enjoyed being told what to do and how to behave so darn much!

Rick Beyer, author of The Greatest Stories Never Told

In The Tricky Art of Co-Existing, Sandi Toksvig navigates lifes little dilemmas with wit and not-so-common sense. Youll learn the strange history of common courtesy and the one true secret of social success: how to not drive everyone around you crazy.

William Poundstone, author of Rock Breaks Scissors:A Practical Guide to Outguessing and Outwitting Almost Everybody

A delightfully written, comprehensive guide full of fascinating historical tidbits. Every grad should get a copy!

Lynette Padwa, author of Everything You Pretend to Know and Are Afraid Someone Will Ask

Sandi Toksvig proves that a guide to manners doesnt have to be mannered. Finally we have an Emily Post for the 21st century.

Bill Walsh, author of Lapsing Into a Comma,The Elephants of Style, and Yes, I Could Care Less

The most unpretentious, sensible and genuinely helpful etiquette book Ive ever readand by far the funniest.

Kate Fox, author of Watching the English

An entertaining guide to modern manners, which also uncovers some fascinating details about how our manners have changed through time.

The Bookseller

A smart guide to day-to-day existence. Toksvigs skillful turns of phrase make the work entertaining as well as useful.

Library Journal

Eats, Shoots and Leaves for modern manners.

The Sunday Times

Sandi Toksvig makes Stephen Fry look like a layabout.

The Guardian

ALSO BY SANDI TOKSVIG

For Adults

Valentine Grey

Heroines & Harridans

Melted into Air

Gladys Reunited

The Travels of Lady Bulldog Burton

Flying Under Bridges

Whistling for the Elephants

Great Journeys of the World

Island Race (with John McCarthy)

For Children

Girls are Best

Hitlers Canary

The Troublesome Tooth Fairy

Super-Saver Mouse to the Rescue

Super-Saver Mouse

If I Didnt Have Elbows

Unusual Day

Tales from the Norses Mouth

The Tricky Art of Co-Existing: How to Behave Decently No Matter What Life Throws Your Way
Copyright 2015 Sandi Toksvig

First published in Great Britain in 2013 as Peas and Queues by Profile Books Ltd.

All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or online reviews, no portion of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and The Experiment was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been capitalized.

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This book contains the opinions and ideas of its author. It is intended to provide helpful and informative material on the subjects addressed in the book. It is sold with the understanding that the author and publisher are not engaged in rendering medical, health, or any other kind of personal professional services in the book. The author and publisher specifically disclaim all responsibility for any liability, loss, or riskpersonal or otherwisethat is incurred as a consequence, directly or indirectly, of the use and application of any of the contents of this book.

The Experiments books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fund-raising or educational use. For details, contact us at .

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Toksvig, Sandi.
[Peas and queues]
The tricky art of co-existing: how to behave decently no matter what
life throws your way / Sandi Toksvig.
pages cm
First published in Great Britain in 2013 as Peas and queues by Profile
Books Ltd.
ISBN 978-1-61519-221-2 (pbk.) ISBN 978-1-61519-222-9 (ebook) 1.
Etiquette. I. Title.
BJ1873.T66 2015
395--dc23
2014032503

ISBN 978-1-61519-221-2
Ebook ISBN 978-1-61519-222-9

Cover design by Sarah Smith
Text design by Pauline Neuwirth, Neuwirth & Associates, Inc.

Manufactured in the United States of America
Distributed by Workman Publishing Company, Inc.
Distributed simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen & Son Ltd.

First printing April 2015
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

for Mary

CONTENTS

To begin:

Epilogue:

TO THE READER

In 1530, when Erasmus of Rotterdam wrote his book on manners, De civilitate morum puerilium (On Civility in Boys), he directed his advice to the eleven-year-old son of the Prince of Veere, Henry of Burgundy. The instructions were in Latin. I follow in his footsteps by addressing this volume to a delightful child in my life called Mary. She is currently eight. This is not a book for children, but she and I have had many conversations about manners. Her behavior is splendid, but nevertheless one day she may need a volume to reach for as matters arise in her life. I hope this book is what she reaches for as she becomes a grown-up. It is impossible to imagine every type of encounter or situation that a person might face so I have stuck to the most general ones in the order most likely to occur. Although Mary was the inspiration for this book I hope it will also prove useful to anyone not planning to live as a hermit. I have made it easier for her (and you) by not using Latin (very often).

TO BEGIN

AN INTRODUCTION

WHY DO WE NEED GOOD MANNERS?

Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better.

Author unknown

Dear Mary,

This bit of a book is usually referred to as The Introduction. Its the section most likely to be skipped by a reader, so you may wonder why the author bothered. If you just want to press on with the basics of manners then by all means move along, but if you want to know why you should pay attention to them at all then it might be interesting. At any rate, do be polite enough to at least give it a go, seeing as Ive made the effort to write it.