Sue Klebold - A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy
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A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy: summary, description and annotation
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The acclaimed New York Times bestseller by Sue Klebold, mother of one of the Columbine shooters, about living in the aftermath of Columbine.
On April 20, 1999, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold walked into Columbine High School in Littleton, Colorado. Over the course of minutes, they would kill twelve students and a teacher and wound twenty-four others before taking their own lives.
For the last sixteen years, Sue Klebold, Dylans mother, has lived with the indescribable grief and shame of that day. How could her child, the promising young man she had loved and raised, be responsible for such horror? And how, as his mother, had she not known something was wrong? Were there subtle signs she had missed? What, if anything, could she have done differently?
These are questions that Klebold has grappled with every day since the Columbine tragedy. In A Mothers Reckoning, she chronicles with unflinching honesty her journey as a mother trying to come to terms with the incomprehensible. In the hope that the insights and understanding she has gained may help other families recognize when a child is in distress, she tells her story in full, drawing upon her personal journals, the videos and writings that Dylan left behind, and on countless interviews with mental health experts.
Filled with hard-won wisdom and compassion, A Mothers Reckoning is a powerful and haunting book that sheds light on one of the most pressing issues of our time. And with fresh wounds from the Newtown and Charleston shootings, never has the need for understanding been more urgent.
All author profits from the book will be donated to research and to charitable organizations focusing on mental health issues.
Washington Post, Best Memoirs of 2016
Sue Klebold: author's other books
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Praise for
A Mothers Reckoning
[U]nimaginably detailed, raw, minute-by-minute, illuminating, and just plain gripping. Its also the most extraordinary testamentto honesty, love, pain, doubt, and resilience.This book is nothing less than a public service. I beseech you to read it.
Bruce Feiler
Reading this book as a critic is hard; reading it as a parent is devastating.I imagine snippets of my own young children in Dylan Klebold, shades of my parenting in Sue and Tom. I suspect that many families will find their own parallels.This books insights are painful and necessary and its contradictions inevitable.
Carlos Lozada, Washington Post
[T]he parenting book everyone should read.
Parents.com
As people read Sues memoir, what they will find is that her book is honest and her pain genuine. Her story may be uncomfortable to read, but it will raise awareness about brain health and the importance of early identification and intervention to maintain it. If people listen to herto all that she has experienced and to how this has changed herthey will be quicker to respond to depression in young people, to the suicidal thinking that can accompany it, and to the rage that can build almost unnoticed in young people when the people who truly and completely love and care for them are distracted by other challenges in life.
Paul Gionfriddo, president and CEO of Mental Health America
This book, which can be tough to read in places, is an important one. It helps us arrive at a new understanding of how Columbine happened and, in the process, may help avert other tragedies.
Entertainment Weekly (rated A)
Required reading for all parents of adolescentssoul-piercingly honest, written with bravery and intelligence.A book of nobility and importance.
The Times (London)
Copyright 2016, 2017 by Vention Resources Inc., PBC
Introduction copyright 2016 by Andrew Solomon
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by Broadway Books,
an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
broadwaybooks.com
B ROADWAY B OOKS and its logo, B \ D \ W \ Y,
are trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Originally published in hardcover in slightly different form in the United States by Crown, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of Penguin Random House LLC, New York, in 2016.
Grateful acknowledgment is made to The Permissions Company, Inc., for permission to reprint an excerpt from And must I then, indeed, Pain, live with you from Collected Poems. Copyright 1954, 1982 by Norma Millay Ellis. Reprinted by permission of The Permissions Company, Inc., on behalf of Holly Peppe, Literary Executor, The Edna St. Vincent Millay Society, www.millay.org.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Klebold, Sue.
A mothers reckoning : living in the aftermath of tragedy / Sue Klebold.
First edition.
pages cm
1. Columbine High School Massacre, Littleton, Colo., 1999. 2. School shootingsColoradoLittleton. 3. Columbine High School (Littleton, Colo.) 4. Klebold, Sue. 5. Klebold, Dylan, 19811999. 6. MothersColoradoLittletonBiography. I. Title.
LB3013.33.C6K55 2016
373.0978882dc23
2015018513
ISBN9781101902776
Ebook ISBN9781101902769
Cover design by Christopher Brand
Cover photograph by George Baier IV
Cover photograph (in frame) courtesy of the author
v4.1_r3
a
To all who feel alone, hopeless, and desperateeven in the arms of those who love them
I began writing about the experience of Columbine almost from the moment it happened, because writing about my sons monstrous behavior, the loss of innocent lives, and his suicide was one of the ways I coped with the tragedy. I never made a conscious decision to write. I kept writing just as I kept breathing.
Deciding what to do with the words I had put down on paper came much later. Initially, I didnt think I had the inner strength to publish my thoughts about Dylan and our family. I was terrified that sharing my personal account might in some way be seen as dishonoring the victims, or cause members of the community as well as my own loved ones to relive the shattering experience of the Columbine shootings. I didnt want the hate mail and the media circus to begin all over again, because I didnt think that any of us could withstand it a second time.
It wasnt until years after the incident that I secured a publisher and the manuscript was completed. As I inched toward the inevitable day when A Mothers Reckoning would be released to the public and I would have to make media appearances to support the book, I felt like a rabbit ready to bolt across an open field.
In the end, I was able to take that step because the messages I hoped to convey were a matter of life and death. I felt a responsibility to educate parents and families about what happened, and why. I believed that hearing what Dylan had gone through might be beneficial to others, especially those who are struggling or who find themselves or their loved ones trapped in a cycle of hopelessness, and I particularly wanted readers to know what I failed to understand as a parent until it was too late: that anyone can be suffering and in need of expert care, regardless of how they act, what they say, or who they are. Those who are suffering can appear for all the world to be doing well, their private pain masked by accomplishments and triumphs.
That was the case with Dylan. He was surrounded by loving family and friends, and to the people closest to him everything seemed fine when it was not.
Columbine was a tragedy of epic scale, but hidden suffering can also manifest in risky behaviors or keep children or adults from reaching their full potential. Such tragedies are commonplace and they can be averted. If anyone close to Dylan had been able to grasp that he was experiencing a health crisis that impaired his judgment, compelled him to fixate on violence, mislead him to dehumanize others, and enabled him to kill his school mates and a teacher before killing himself, we could have intervened and gotten him the help he needed to move beyond the period of crisis.
In the years since the Columbine shootings, the world has changed and people are more willing to consider that behavioral health is part of health. Since the tragedy I have witnessed significant changes in mental health care, school policy, active shooter responses, and suicide prevention. More and more people recognize that many acts of violence, whether they play out on a mass scale like Columbine or in smaller but just as tragic scenarios, are preventable. We dont lose our bearings because were bad people. Persistent thoughts of death and suicide are symptoms of pathology, not of flawed character.
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