Jason H Gilbert - Bad Movie Beware!: Over 100 Movies That No Human Being Should Watch. Ever.

Back in 2009, when I was on MySpace, I did a few movie reviews as a joke, starting with Mutant Chronicles . Id been looking forward to that movie for a while, since the previews looked amazing.

What I got was an hour and a half that couldve been better spent sitting on the toilet with the screaming s**ts.

I did a rant with torrents of profanity because, lets face it, no post on MySpace was complete without a monsoon of f-bombs. Shortly after that, my mom suggested Basic Instinct , claiming it to be one of the best Michael Douglas movies ever. I found the movie hilarious because his character was so hopelessly stupid when it came to the prospect of getting laid.

It was also great material for my next rant on MySpace.

I got on board with the cool kids on Facebook in 2010, and Facebook had this nifty little feature called Notes. The purpose of writing a note was what people just use their status update for these days: rant, rave, and post something either intellectually stimulating or so utterly ignorant and misinformed that one would have to wonder how the hell this person manages to tie their shoes in the mornings without killing themselves. I began posting regularly in the notes, starting with such gems as Asylum , Garfields Pet Force , and the infamous Alices Adventures in Wonderland . That last one was a real piece of work and got me a fair amount of attention from my friends as their favorite one Id done yet. A few of them had even had to read it twice out loud to their friends and family because they enjoyed the humor.

As I kept posting, my wife decided to toss me the idea of starting a blog. At the time I wasnt really aware of what the hell a blog was. My only understanding was that it was an online journal where people could post about their lives day-to-day, making people whose lives were similarly lonely and depressing feel better about the fact that they still lived in their mothers basements and kept stringently to the Cheetos and Mountain Dew diet to maintain a healthy virginity. She explained that my assumption was far from accurate and showed me a few blogs. As it turned out, people posted blogs for all kinds of things! Not that there werent Mothers Basement Dwellers posting about their latest anime porn purchases, but most of the blogs she showed me were actually quite educational. One was a weekly lesson on how to be a more effective fisherman, another was different ways to prepare quality meals with minimal ingredients, and there was even one suggesting a simpler lifestyle by getting rid of excess stuff (that one would become big to me in later years).

I decided to follow the same kind of mindset of the Angry Nintendo Nerd (later known as the Angry Video Game Nerd) and make my blog about bad movies that I would watch so that people wouldnt have to accidentally stumble upon these nightmares without due warning. The theme would be an unwritten idea. Dont watch these movies. Let me take the bullet and spare you the misery.

Before I could set it up, we decided to move. Thats the thing about renting: you dont like where you are, you move. Unfortunately, its much simpler to say than it is to do. We ended up finding a place, but time and energy got refocused into that, and my blog and Facebook Notes were put on hold. It irked me because I was actually enjoying watching these movies. It gave me an outlet for my tendency to roast the hell out of anything or anyone in the room.

That, and some of them were just plain fun to watch even though they were agonizingly awful.

Once we got settled in and turned over the old house, things went back to normal. But, I wasnt writing or watching movies because I was still running around getting details done. Change of address, transfer of bills, call DirecTV, get the internet turned on, stock the kitchen, all the fun joys of moving into a new place.

One day I came home from work ready to just sit down and work on the book that I was writing at the time (it actually turned out to be one of those ideas that was great until I actually wrote it down) when Melissa showed me what shed been up to that day. She typed in the address www.fail-flix.blogspot.com, and brought up my new blog.

Fail-Flix was born.

Since then, Ive reviewed over a hundred movies and developed a loyal fan base. Its still going strong and has grown far bigger and faster than Id imagined. I hope you enjoy reading these reviews as much as I enjoyed writing them. Read them, get a good laugh, and dont say I didnt warn you if you decide to watch one of these nightmares!