Ross Benes - Sex Weird-o-Pedia: The Ultimate Book of Shocking, Scandalous, and Incredibly Bizarre Sex Facts

Copyright 2019 by Ross Benes

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available on file.

Cover design by Daniel Brount

Print ISBN: 978-1-63158-437-4

Ebook ISBN: 978-1-63158-446-6

Printed in China

To Mom and Dad,

thanks for having sex so that I could exist.

INTRODUCTION

W hether you are an abstinent virgin or a kinky horndog, one thing we can all agree on is that sex manifests itself throughout society in bizarre ways.

In this book, we are not focused on exalting or demonizing sex. Instead, we are just stating facts so that you can better appreciate the wonders of copulation. Some of the things sex affects include crime, how much money people save, and what we eat for breakfast. It is also something that nearly 10,000 Americans die in the act of each year. But no human has ever officially done it in outer space.

The approach that municipalities take toward sex varies widely. Some US states ban the sale of sex toys but do not ban sex with dead people. Many countries prohibit prostitution, but in parts of Germany where there are not enough people to take care of the elderly, the state experimented with turning hookers into nurses. Meanwhile, several ancient societies around the world insisted that their top civil servants be castrated in an effort to stamp out nepotism.

Primates like us do not have a monopoly on weird sex. Strange boning can be witnessed throughout the animal kingdom from water bugs that produce construction-zone levels of noise by rubbing their penis against their abdomen to sharks giving virgin births. And do not forget about the fish with flame-retardant sperm.

Some of these facts sound too odd to be true. Sources (page 113) at the end of this book will point you in the right direction if you are looking to do some independent research, but if you start doing your own investigations, you may want to brace yourself. My legs have been crossed ever since I found out that sex research pioneer Alfred Kinsey shoved toothbrushes into his urethra.

L eopard slugs have penises that come out of their heads, and since they are hermaphroditic both slugs can bear offspring when a pair mate. According to limacologists (an amazing word used to describe scientists who study slugs), leopard slugs mate by hanging upside down and wrapping their gooey penises around each other in a chandelier configuration.

Sea slugs have even stranger sex than their leopard brethren. After a sea slug mates, it discards its penis and grows another one within 24 hours. Starbucks is more considerate about wasting plastic straws than these slugs are about throwing away their dongs.

Ducks might look silly when they dunk their heads in a lake and show off their butts to pedestrians, but there is nothing lame about their dicks. A ruddy ducks penis can extend past 8 inches and is covered in spines. Meanwhile, human penises average about 6 inches in length and arent equipped with much armor.

The clitoris of the female hyena extends up to 7 inches from its body.

Male alligators have permanent boners that hide inside their bodies.

Researchers have found that some animals engage in activity akin to prostitution. Female penguins, who need stones to build their nests, trade sex for the rocks that male penguins provide them.

Water bugs are the loudest animal in the world relative to their size. The tiny critter reaches nearly 100 decibels when it rubs its penis against its abdomen. Basically, there is a rock concert going on whenever a water bug does the nasty.

Male giraffes will drink the pee of their female counterparts to determine if they are fertile or not.

The antechinus, an Australian marsupial, mates for 14 hours straight and will screw until it goes blind or dies.

Labords chameleons die after they bone.

Female praying mantises are known to bite off and eat the heads of their male counterparts while they have sex. Once beheaded, the males corpse continues to thrust. This coital snack gives the female energy to produce more eggs, which incentivizes the sexual cannibalism.

Soapberry bugs can mate for 11 days straight.

A honeybees penis gets ripped off during sex.

Moths can detect pheromones from a few miles away.

Australian jewel beetles have been known to mate with brown beer bottles. Some beetles have died while trying to copulate with these alcohol containers.

Female lobsters rely on urine to entice their mates. They engage in foreplay by stroking each other with their feet before they molt their shells during mating.

Some herring have flame-retardant sperm.