Dan Gutman - My Weird School Fast Facts: Explorers, Presidents, and Toilets

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My Weird School

My Weird School Daze

My Weirder School

My Weirdest School

The Baseball Card Adventure series

The Genius Files

Flashback Four

Rappy the Raptor

Johnny Hangtime

To Emma

The author gratefully acknowledges the editorial contributions of Laurie Calkhoven.

MY WEIRD SCHOOL FAST FACTS: EXPLORERS, PRESIDENTS, AND TOILETS. Text copyright 2017 by Dan Gutman. Illustrations copyright 2017 by Jim Paillot. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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ISBN 978-0-06-230623-4 (trade bdg.)

ISBN 978-0-06-230624-1 (lib. bdg.)

EPub Edition May 2017 ISBN 9780062306258
Version 10112019

16 17 18 19 20 OPM 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

FIRST EDITION

My name is Andrea and I love history!

Oh no! Its Andrea Young, that annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair! Who said you could take over my book?

Its our book, Arlo! Not your book. Were supposed to talk about history together.

History? Are you kidding me? History is the most boring subject in the history of the world! Nobody wants to read about a bunch of dead guys.

History is fascinating, Arlo! And its not just about dead guys. When we learn about US history, were learning about how our country came to be. Thats important!

Ill tell you whats important. Tissues! If we didnt have tissues, how would I blow my nose?

Ignore him. Arlo just wants attention. If he doesnt want to talk about the history of the United States, then I will. He can just sit there and blow his nose if he wants to.

Nothing doing! I am Professor A.J., and I already forgot more history than Andrea will ever learn. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on her. I know everything thats worth knowing. For instance, did you know how America came to be discovered? Well, Ill tell you.

It all started in 1492. Columbus told the Pilgrims to go sail to America because he was busy playing video games. The Pilgrims hired George Washington to write the Gettysburg Address in his underwear, and the next thing anybody knew, Neil Armstrong was standing on the moon taking selfies! And thats everything you need to know about American history.

Thats just ridiculous, Arlo, and you know it! None of that is true.

Yeah, but some people will fall for anything! That just goes to show that you shouldnt believe everything you read in a book. Especially a My Weird School book! But I know lots of real history too. I bet you didnt know that President Calvin Coolidge had a pet raccoon named Rebecca, and he let her roam around the White House. Thats a true fast fact! Look it up if you dont believe me. I could tell you a lot more cool stuff about American history, but Id rather blow my nose.

Mrs. Grace Coolidge with Rebecca

Professor A.J.

(the professor of awesomeness)

The professor of being obnoxious is more like it. Okay, lets get started. We have a lot of ground to cover. I guess we should start from the beginning.

A lot of people think Christopher Columbus discovered North America, but theres a name for those peopledopes! The truth is that Leif Eriksson and the Vikings arrived here almost five centuries before Columbus. Five hundred years! Thats more years than my grandparents are old. So nah-nah-nah boo-boo on Columbus!

Its not very nice to call people dopes, but I must admit Arlo is right. Around the year AD 1000, the Vikings sailed all the way from Scandinaviathats Sweden, Norway, and Denmarkand landed in what we now call Canada.