Dan Gutman - Space, Humans, and Farts

To Emma

My name is Professor A.J. and I know everything there is to know about science.

You probably dont know anything about science, Arlo.

Oh no! Its Andrea Young, that annoying girl in my class with curly brown hair! She calls me by my real name because she knows I dont like it. Well, it just so happens that I know a lot about science, because my great-uncle Ernie was a scientist.

Is that so?

Yes, thats so. Youve heard of the law of gravity. Well, my great-uncle Ernie discovered the law of towels.

I never heard of a law of towels, Arlo. What is it?

The law of towels states that a towel can never get dirty, because we use it to dry ourselves off when we get out of the shower or wash our hands. Were clean, so the towel has to be clean. Thats why towels can never get dirty. Its the law of towels!

Thats just ridiculous, Arlo, and you know it!

Yeah, some kids will fall for anything they read in a book! But I know lots of real science facts too. I bet you didnt know that the average person produces about three pounds of earwax in their lifetime. Thats a true science fast fact! Look it up if you dont believe me.

Nobody cares about the science of earwax, Arlo. Were here to talk about important science stuff.

Says who? Earwax is important! I know all about the science of earwax, farts, boogers, poop, and snot too. I could write a whole book about it. Hey, we should do the whole book about the science of grossness!

You can write that one by yourself, Arlo. For now lets get started on this one.

Okay, okay. But I want to tell the readers one last thing before we get started. On the last page of this book, Im going to reveal the secret of the universe. So if you just cant wait to learn the secret, turn to the last page of this book right now.

Sincerely,

Professor A.J.

(the professor of awesomeness)

Andrea Young, PhD

(This is going to help me get into Harvard someday.)

Hi everybody! My name is Mr. Docker, and Im the science teacher at Ella Mentry School. Andrea and A.J. asked me to help them tell you a little about science. Im happy to help. I guess I should start from the beginning. Science is knowledge of the world learned through experiments and observation.

Okay, that makes no sense at all, Mr. Docker.

Perhaps I can explain in simpler terms, A.J. Science is how we learn new things. Its all about asking questions and trying to find answers to them.

Do you mean questions like: Why do scientists seem so nerdy? Why is science so boring? How do I get an A in science class?

No, Arlo! Mr. Docker means asking questions that will help us learn about the world around us. Questions like: Why is the sky blue? Why do elephants have long trunks? Am I right, Mr. Docker?

Thats right, Andrea! I think kids make great scientists because youre naturally curious.

I have a good science question. When snow melts and turns into water, where does the white go?

Huh? What? Hmm, I never really thought about that, A.J. But the point Im trying to make is that anyone can be a scientist. All you have to do is look around and ask Why? I love it when kids ask Why questions.

I have a good Why question. Is it true that sound cant travel through a vacuum?