James L. Ferrell - The Holy Secret

Table of Contents

Preface

I believe that many today carry a secret: we do not love what we have been commanded to love; we do not love what is holy. While we might reverence things that are deemed holythe temple, for example, and the scriptures, and the Sabbath we do not love them. Not really. Not with our whole souls.

I want to be careful not to be misunderstood. While I know that I, at times, have carried this secret, I do not presume the same about any other particular person. But our actions as a people both as members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and as part of the larger Christian populationsuggest that as a body of believers we do not love what is holy. Our temples, for example, are not as busy as they would be if we loved being there; the pages of our scriptures are not as worn as they would be if we feasted upon their words; our stores are not as empty or our chapels as filled as they would be if we truly loved the Lord's holy day. While many among us surely cherish and love holiness, our lives suggest that many more of us do not. At least, not all of the time.

Why does this matter? It matters because the scriptures teach that if we are to enjoy eternal life in the hereafter, we must be sanctified from sin and enjoy the words of eternal life in the here and now. If we do not enjoy holiness here, we will not have the opportunity to experience it there.

So what is to be done? Why are we not passionately in love with what is holy? What is holding us back and keeping us away? What is keeping us from holiness?

This book is the story of a keeper of this secret who unexpectedly begins to love what is holy. The scriptures, the Sabbath, and the temple come alive for him. He discovers a joy for these vessels of holiness that before had been only theoretical. He disocvers as well, to his great surprise, that a love for what is holy transforms his love for life itself. Petty grievances, ongoing squabbles, and grudges long held are washed from his heart as he begins to apply the cleansing agent of holiness.

These revelations come to him, as they can to us, as he embarks on a journey of discovery. It is a journey in the scirptures, on the Sabbath, and through the templea journey that begins with a conversation about holiness with someone who didn't always, but has learned to, love it.

Notes

See Moses 6:59.

Part I

Loving the Holy Scriptures

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Awakening

Michael Nowak steered his car along the winding, tree-lined streets of Stamford, Connecticut, not going anywhere in particular. He had left church early that Sabbath morning, driven from the building by a talk that had pricked him to the core. Although he didnt have anything major to hide or to run from, the remarks that day had awakened Michael to a weakness. He was carrying a secret even he usually didnt know. But he knew it today, and the realization made him shudder.

Brother Albert Kishler, a still spry seventy-year-old who had lost his wife to cancer just six months earlier, had been the speaker. A grocery man by trade, Brother Kishler possessed an easy way with others that made him a favorite among both old and young. Since his wifes death, he had returned to work two days a week, and although he no longer managed the store, you wouldnt be able to convince any of the long-time patrons of that. He was something of an institution in the area, among Church members and nonmembers alike.

Michael pondered Brother Kishlers words as he wound his way beneath the canopies of Connecticut maples and oaks. If I dont love what is holy in this life, Brother Kishler had said, then I will not like holiness in the next. My attitude about what is holy here and now tells me where I am heading in the then and there.

Michael had been fine to that point, but then Brother Kishler got specific.

The holy scriptures, he declared, do we love them? Do we, as the Lord said to Adam, enjoy the words of eternal life in this world so that we might enjoy eternal life in the world to come? How are we preparing, brothers and sisters? Are we learning to love his holy words, as recorded in the holy scriptures?

And, he had continued, do we love the holy templethat sacred space that is the Lords house on earth? Do we long to be there and to attend as often as possible? Do we love holiness to that degree? Or do we rather look forward to other activities and places?

And the holy Sabbath, he added, do we, from our hearts, reverence the holiness of this day? Do we delight in resting from worldly concerns and cares? Do we yearn for the Lords rest? Do we love the holy Sabbath, brothers and sisters? Do we love what is holy?

Beginning to feel pressed in by the implications of these words, Michael found himself turning for escape into the eastbound entrance of Merritt Parkway, a picturesque highway that cuts through the Connecticut greenery from the New York border. I enjoy the Sabbath, he defended himself. He had to admit, however, that the other questions indicted him. He knew, despite the testimonies he had borne to the contrary, that he didnt really love the scriptures. He read them on a semiregular basis, but more out of duty than anything else. He didnt feel like he got much out of them anymore.

As for the temple, he just didnt enjoy going. The repetition, ritual, and symbolism bored him anymore, and he found that he spent most of his time while there complaining to himself about how none of it seemed relevant to his daily life. Busy as a young Wall Street lawyer, his schedule gave him a ready excuse; he hadnt been to the temple in months.

These were all secrets, of coursesecrets Michael was pretty sure were unknown even to his wife, Angie. He was a temple-recommend-holding, tithe-paying, lesson-preparing, testimony-bearing member. Usually, this seemed like enough, and he comforted himself with the knowledge that he was doing what hed been commanded to do. However, as his car hummed eastward on the Merritt, his soul ached with another bit of knowledge: that despite all he had been doing, he was failing at something fundamental. Where the Lord dwelt all was holinessHoliness being one of his names. Michael now was worried about what that might mean.

I am getting on in years, Brother Kishler had said near the end of his remarks. Too old, perhaps, to be distracted by the glitz and glamour of this world. But I am grateful in my old age to love holiness. Those of you who know me best know that it wasnt always so. He then paused to collect himself, and in the honest, heartfelt silence that followed, emotion moistened the hearts in the room.

But I thank the Lord for his loving kindness toward me, for his mercy and for his grace. And I thank him as well for my dear Helen, he said, his voice beginning to wobble. She was holy, brothers and sisters. He wiped at his cheek. If I ever hope to be with her again, I must love what she loved. And I believe that the scriptures, the Sabbath, and the templethose mediums of holiness extended into this unholy worldare what I need in order to prepare. May we learn to love them, brothers and sisters, so that we might one day live with those we dearly love, and those who dearly love us.

Mediums of holiness, Michael repeated to himself as he drove. One of the implications of Brother Kishlers talk was that the Lord has extended into this fallen realm a way for us to learn to love what he loves, and to therefore be able to live where he lives. Those who learn to love these mediums of holiness become holy themselves, which is the sanctification necessary to live again with God.

But I dont love them, Michael muttered, shaking his head despairingly. Brother Kishler is right. I dont love what is holy.

Over the next half hour or so, Michael wrestled with this insight, alternately denying it and recognizing it anew, until he finally arrived at a question: Then what can I do about it? Ive been going to church all my adult life. If I dont love the scriptures and the temple by now, what could possibly help me at this point?