Patricia Shanae Smith [Pinter - Remember

REMEMBER

Patricia Smith

The following is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events and incidents are either the product of the authors imagination or used in an entirely fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Copyright 2019 by Patricia Smith

Cover and jacket design by Mimi Bark

ISBN 978-1-947993-68-6

eISBN: 978-1-947993-91-4

Library of Congress Control Number: tk

First trade paperback edition October 2019 by Agora Books

An imprint of Polis Books, LLC

221 River St., 9th Floor, #9070

Hoboken, NJ 07030

www.PolisBooks.com

Chapter 1

Present Day

My name is Elizabeth Smith. Im here to help you. I am not going to hurt you.

She said it slowly, like she was talking to a little kid. I didnt think she was going to. I just kept staring at her distracting pair of high heels. Id never met her before, but she looked familiar.

So, do you know why youre here?

I shook my head. I also didnt know where here was. I didnt remember how I got here. I had been with my dad but I didnt know where he went. According to what Id seen on television, I was either in jail, the hospital, or a mental institution. The room was normal-looking enough, with a big chair and a sofa. I could tell by looking out the window I was a couple stories high. There was a video camera on a tripod in the middle of the room

Whenever youre ready, I want you to tell me what happened.

Wheres my dad? I didnt feel like talking. I need my dad.

Hes not here, Portia.

Okay, well, Im not talking without him. I dont really know what you want me to say, anyway.

Is that why you need him here ?

Are you even allowed to talk to me without a legal adult ?

Im not a police officer, and you are a legal adult. You are twenty-two years old. Do you know that?

Why would I not know how old I am?

I nodded as I stared at the door.

Your dad is not coming through that door.

What do you want me to say? The faster I say it, the faster I can see him, right?

Start from the beginning. Tell me about your sisters play.

Five Years Ago

Piper had been cast as Beatrice in Much Ado About Nothing and tonight was opening night at Cypress High. The play was the only thing talked about in our house for the past three months. I was proud of her, she was the only sophomore who had gotten a lead role. But that didnt mean I wanted to go. Being a senior was hard enough for me without all these outside activities.

Although Piper was my whole world, I hated social situations even more than I loved her. Piper understood, though she was the complete opposite of me. Her world was makeup, attention, boys, partiesI, on the other hand, didnt want to leave my room, and I didnt have any friends. Only partners on school projects.

Though I hadnt gone to a single party in my four years of high school, I often picked her up from them. Piper was so popular, she was always invited to everything. Our parents didnt care. Mother was way too obsessed with the advertising company she owned. Dad was too obsessed with football and being a stay-at-home dad.

One time, Piper had been too drunk to come out to the car. I sat outside and waited for her for over an hour. Biting my lips, shaking my legs, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel, I kept whispering, Come on, Piper, over and over again . Piper finally called me, crying, asking me to come inside and get her.

She told me exactly where she was.

She told me exactly what turns to take.

She reassured me that I wouldnt have to speak to a single person.

My little sister was in there, drunk, alone, helpless, and I was stuck in the car, heart racing. No matter how messed up she was, she still knew what she was asking of me was big, and danced around her words delicately, knowing how crippling my anxiety was. She promised to stay on the phone with me the entire way. It was her sobbing that got me out of the car.

I still cant believe I did that. Now Im standing in her doorway years later, watching her curl her hair listening to Britney Spears

Mom is making me go tonight, I said, already dressed and ready. With my anxiety, I had to get up two hours before everyone just to get myself to school on time.

What? We already talked about this. Dad is recording it for you. She threw down the curling iron. I shrugged my shoulders. Portia, Im sorry. Mom can be such a bitch sometimes. My mom didnt understand my problem. She refused to get me help, but I didnt care. Piper was more concerned about me than I was.

Piper raced downstairs, me trailing behind. Dad, does Portia have to go tonight? Oh God. Leave it to Piper to start drama. Leave it to Piper to stand up for me even when I didnt ask her to.

Its fine. Dont worry about it. Ill see you tonight. I rolled my eyes and headed for the door.

I thought she wasnt going. I was going to order her a pizza, Dad said, pouring a little bit of brandy in his coffee. I smiled at him. He never questioned me. He didnt really know about disorders and problems, but he knew me better than anyone. He knew there was no way I was going, even though wed never talked about it.

Well, I think she should support her sister. This is a big deal. I really want her to go. My mother looked at my father like she was about to stab him in the eye.

Shes standing right there, Carol. Dad came over to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

I dont want her to go, how about that? Piper snapped.

Im going to school. I stormed off, slamming the door. I knew the three of them were going to have a fight as soon as I left.

They always fought over me.

Three Years Ago

Hon, babe, sweetie, are you up? Can you get up? Something nudged me gently. I could smell gross morning breath overlaid by beer. My dad and alcohol had become even better friends since my mother and my sister died.

It was just us in the house.

It was just us in the world.

We had both started drinking, smoking, and watching television almost twenty-four seven. At least I was taking online classes at UCLA. That had always been part of my plan. Once I graduated high school, I had never wanted to actually go to school again in my life.

Dad, I have a test today and I feel like shit. Im super hungover and need to rest.

Okay, well, need a beer? Ill get you one. Im going to be watching the game.

The game? What time is it?

Two oclock, honey.

Oh shit. Id missed my test. My first semester had been easy compared to this year, and now I was going to have to take this class over again. My dad and I had been living off of my mothers advertising company money. Susan, Moms best friend, had taken over after she died. Susan always made sure we were doing okay. I felt like I was letting her down, between the drinking and taking care of my dad, I was failing.

I always wanted things to get bettertomorrow.

My dad plopped down on the couch and lit the last cigarette.

We bought that carton for the both of us to split.

We are splitting it .

No, youve been smoking more than me. I want a cigarette, too.

Here, have this one.

No.

Take it, were also out of beer.

I guess thats what I get for sleeping all day. I was annoyed, but understood. I had lost my mother and my sister, he had lost his wife and his daughter. And he got left with the daughter with the problems. My guilt numbed my anger toward him. I went over to the couch and he put his arm around me.

Im sorry. I knew you were going to have a rough morning so I thought Id let you sleep, he mumbled in my ear.

Its fine. Ill go to the store tomorrow, okay ?

For the last year and a half, Id had to step up. Id had to get over my social issues, well, not get over them, but push their boundaries. But I was struggling. Dad wouldnt go out in public. Wed basically switched roles.