Let Me In
By: John Avjide Lindquist
The Location
Blackeberg.
It makes you think of coconut-frosted cookies, maybe drugs. "A respectable life." You think subway station, suburb. Probably nothing else comes to mind. People must live there, just like they do in other places.
That was why it was built, after all, so that people would have a place to live.
It was not a place that developed organically, of course. Here everything was carefully planned from the outset. And people moved into what had been built for them. Earth-colored concrete buildings scattered about in the green fields.
When this story begins, Blackeberg the suburb had been in existence for thirty years. One could imagine that it had fostered a pioneer spirit. The Mayflower; an unknown land. Yes. One can imagine all those empty buildings waiting for their occupants.
And here they come!
Marching over the Traneberg Bridge with sunshine and the future in their eyes. The year is 1952. Mothers are carrying their little ones in their arms or pushing them in baby carriages, holding them by the hand. Fathers are not carrying picks and shovels but kitchen appliances and functional furniture. They are probably singing something. "The Internationale,"
perhaps. Or "We Come Unto Jerusalem," depending on their predilection.
It is big. It is new. It is modern.
But that wasn't the way it was.
They came on the subway. Or in cars, moving vans. One by one. Filtered into the finished apartments with their things. Sorted their possessions into the measured cubbies and shelves, placed the furniture in formation on the cork floor. Bought new things to fill the gaps.
When they were done, they lifted their eyes and gazed out onto this land that had been given unto them. Walked out of their doors and found that all land had already been claimed. Might as well adjust oneself to how things were.
There was a town center. There were spacious playgrounds allotted to children. Large green spaces around the corner. There were many pedestrian-only walking paths.
A good place; that's what people said to each other over the kitchen table a month or so after they had moved in.
"It's a good place we've come to."
Only one thing was missing. A past. At school, the children didn't get to do any special projects about Blackeberg's history because there wasn't one.
That is to say, there was something about an old mill. A tobacco king.
Some strange old buildings down by the water. But that was a long time ago and without any connection to the present.
Where the three-storied apartment buildings now stood there had been only forest before.
You were beyond the grasp of the mysteries of the past; there wasn't even a church. Nine thousand inhabitants and no church.
That tells you something about the modernity of the place, its rationality. It tells you something of how free they were from the ghosts of history and of terror.
It explains in part how unprepared they were.
No one saw them move in.
In December, when the police finally managed to track down the driver of the moving truck, he didn't have much to tell. In his records he had only noted 18 October. Norrkoping-Blackeberg (Stockholm). He recalled that it was a father and daughter, a pretty girl.
"Oh, and another thing. They had almost no furniture. A couch, an armchair, maybe a bed. An easy job, really. And that... yeah, they wanted it done at night. I said it would be more expensive, you know, with the overtime surcharge and that. But it was no problem. It just had to be done at night. That seemed real important. Has anything happened?"
The driver was informed of the events, of whom he had had in his truck.
His eyes widened, he looked down again at the letters on the page.
"I'll be damned...."
He grimaced as if he had developed a revulsion for his own hand writing.
18 October. Norrkoping-Blackeberg (Stockholm).
He was the one who had moved them in. The man and his daughter.
He wasn't going to tell anyone about it, not for as long as he lived.
PART ONE
Lucky is he who has such a friend
Love trouble
will burst your bubble
boys!
Siw Malmkvist, "Love Trouble"
trans. Laurie Thompson
I never wanted to kill. lam not naturally evil
Such things I do
just to make myselfmore attractive to you
Have I failed!
Morrissey, "The Last of The Famous International Playboys"
Wednesday
21 October 1981
And what do you think this might be?"
Gunnar Holmberg, police commissioner from Vallingby, held up a little plastic bag of white powder.
Maybe heroin, but no one dared say anything. Didn't want to be suspected of knowing anything about stuff like that. Especially if you had a brother or a friend of your brother who did it. Shoot horse. Even the girls didn't say anything. The policeman shook the bag.
"Baking powder, do you think? Flour?"
A mumble of answers in the negative. They didn't want him to think class 6B was a bunch of idiots. Even though it was impossible to determine what was really in the bag, this lesson was about drugs, so you could draw certain conclusions. The policeman turned to the teacher.
"What do you teach them in Home Economics these days?"
The teacher smiled and shrugged her shoulders. The class laughed; the cop was OK. Some of the guys had even been allowed to touch his gun before class. It wasn't loaded, but still.
Oskar's chest felt like it was about to burst. He knew the answer to the question. It hurt him not to say anything when he knew. He wanted the policeman to look at him. Look at him and tell him he was right. He knew it was a dumb thing to do, but he still put his hand up.
"Yes?"
"It's heroin, isn't it?"
"In fact it is." The policeman looked kindly at him. "How did you know?"
Heads turned in his direction, curious as to what he was going to say.
"Naw... I mean, I've read a lot and stuff."
The policeman nodded.
"Now there's a good thing. Reading." He shook the little bag. "You won't have much time for it if you get into this, though. How much do you think this little bag is worth?"
Oskar didn't feel the need to say anything else. He had been looked at and spoken to. Had even been able to tell the cop he read a lot. That was more than he had hoped for.
He let himself sink into a daydream. How the policeman came up to him after class and was interested in him, sat down next to him. Then he would tell him everything. And the policeman would understand. He would stroke his hair and tell him he was alright; would hold him and say...
"Fucking snitch."
Jonny Forsberg drove a hard finger into his side. Jonny's brother ran with the drug crowd and Jonny knew a lot of words that the other guys in the class quickly picked up. Jonny probably knew exactly how much that bag was worth but he didn't snitch. Didn't talk to the cop.
It was recess and Oskar lingered by the coat rack, indecisive. Jonny wanted to hurt himwhat was the best way to avoid it? By staying here in the hallway or going outside? Jonny and the other class members stormed out the doors into the schoolyard.
That's right; the policeman had his car parked in the schoolyard and anyone who was interested could come take a look. Jonny wouldn't dare beat him up when the policeman was there.
Oskar walked down to the double front doors and looked out the glass window. Just as he thought, everyone in the class had gathered around the patrol car. Oskar would also have wanted to be there but there was no point. Someone would knee him, another pull his underpants up in a wedgie, policeman or no policeman.
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