CONTENTS
Guide
Simon & Schuster
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Copyright 2020 by Matt Jones
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First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition March 2020
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Interior design by Paul Dippolito
Jacket illustration by Marc Murphy
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data has been applied for.
ISBN 978-1-9821-4204-9
ISBN 978-1-9821-4205-6 (ebook)
To the people of Kentucky, who opened their doors and hearts to us, and who showed us kindness every step of the way
NOTE ON INTERVIEWS
We traveled to all 120 of these counties, and our descriptions of each are based upon these travels. Most of our interviews were done collectively, but some were done by each of us individually. For purposes of narration, we will speak about all of the interviews in one voice.
Introduction
Powell County (August 24, 2019)
Rallying Round the Rooster
If Mitch McConnell were a hound dog, even the fleas would stay away from him.
Its a hot, sticky summer day in a city park in Stanton, Kentucky, and an elderly man in a flannel shirt and jeans is giving me the what for on all things Mitch McConnell. I dont like Mitch and I dont know how anyone could. Hes a weasel and we gotta get him out of there.
We are at the Powell County Democratic Rally Round the Rooster event, a yearly celebration for local Democrats. The event is filled with a disappearing breed, rural blue-collar Democrats, a group that once dominated Kentucky politics that now see their ranks thinning with each passing year. These folks are in desperate need of good news and have come for a sweaty mix of politickin, hot dogs, and homemade potato salad.
The Kentucky governors election is just a few months away, and this large crowd is ready for changenot just in that race but also another a little more than a year away. The man continues, Heres the thing, Matt, we can beat Mitch. We can. But we cant be running these people from the big cities like Louisville and expect them to come and be able to talk to people out here in the country. We tried that. It dont work. Everybody in this state knows McConnell is awful. But they aint gonna just vote for anybody. They might vote for you, though!
I am here, in part, because I am considering a run against Senator Mitch McConnell in 2020. Its admittedly a ridiculous notion. McConnell is the second most powerful man in the country, spending his days ruining Americas democracy. I am a forty-one-year-old sports radio host who spends his days entertaining tens of thousands of Kentuckians by debating whether John Wall or Kyle Macy was the better former University of Kentucky (UK) basketball point guard. It isnt the normal biography of a United States Senate candidate, but defeating McConnell in this deep-red state is going to take something out of the ordinary.
I came to Powell County to give my first political speech as a potential candidate. All the big Democrats in Kentucky are here, each trying to energize the crowd. As I await my turn to speak, a line of locals comes over to say hello. They all tell me they love my show, are huge fans of UK basketball, and hate Mitch worse than anything. They arent alone.
In fact, if you are reading this sentence, there is a very good chance that you hate Mitch McConnell. I can say that in part because the type of person who picks up a book with the title Mitch, Please! and a cartoon rendering of Americas most reptilian politician on its cover is likely also someone who isnt a fan of the Senate majority leader. And why would you be? Mitch McConnell is the worst. If you are a rational human being with some degree of care for your fellow man, then you have to dislike Mitch McConnell and everything he represents.
Thankfully, most people do. McConnell is not only the least popular senator in America, he is uniquely disliked in his (and my) home state of Kentucky. In the survey research company Morning Consults quarterly measurement of popularity in a senators home state, McConnells Kentucky approval rating nearly always comes in last in the entire nation. His approval rating has been as low as 18 percent and never reaches higher than the mid-30s.
In Kentucky, finding a true Mitch McConnell fan is like finding a fan of our archrival, the Tennessee Vols: one might exist, but that person would be looked upon with a hearty mixture of scorn and pity.
I was quite nervous as I walked up to give my speech to the crowd. The candidates for governor and attorney general had just spoken, and the crowd of a couple hundred people were in a mood to cheer. I had a set of talking points, but they were on a crumpled sheet of paper and hard to read. So I tossed them aside as I got onstage and decided to speak from my heart.
Mitch McConnell is the single most destructive force to Kentucky and America of my lifetime, and its time we make it priority number one to send his ass out of Washington once and for all!
The crowd burst into cheers.
Whatever it is that you hate about politics the most, chances are Mitch McConnell is largely responsible for its existence. The massive amounts of money that have flooded our political elections? Mitch McConnell is responsible. The political divide that seems to be tearing our country apart at the seams? Thank you, Mitch. The gridlock that keeps Congress from passing any meaningful legislation? Three for three. The fact that Congress is full of career politicians who stay in office for way too long? Mitch again. The personal nastiness that is part of every political campaign? You get the picture. Mitch McConnell is quite simply everything wrong with American politics in 2020.
So how did McConnell get to this level of power and destruction? And more important, why does he keep winning? The voters of Kentucky continue to reelect a senator they despiseoften by wide margins. In 2014, McConnells race with challenger Alison Lundergan Grimes was supposed to be a close one. She was a well-funded, relatively popular secretary of state, a young, fresh face that looked to be a perfect contrast to the old, stodgy curmudgeon from Louisville. Some early polls even showed Grimes leading, and national coverage painted the picture that Mitch could be on the brink. Then on Election Day, reality hit: McConnell won by an overwhelming sixteen-point margin, a result not even his most optimistic supporters would have imagined. The voters of Kentucky may hate him, but each election they look him in the eye and say, Thanks, Mother, may I have another?
Mitch is Kentuckys political cockroach, unable to be destroyed, no matter how gross his transgressions. Even though he is so unlikable that he makes Texas senator Ted Cruz look like Tom Hanks, Kentuckians keep choosing his obnoxious leadership while simultaneously honoring him as the least popular politician in America. How does this happen? It is a question that perplexes outsiders and depresses Kentuckians across the Bluegrass. I decided I had to find out the answer.