Eldonna Edwards - Lost in Transplantation: Memoir of an Unconventional Organ Donor

Lost in Transplantation:

Memoir of an Unconventional Organ Donor

By Eldonna Edwards

Lost In Transplantationby Eldonna Edwards

2014 by Eldonna Edwards

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any written, electronic, recording, or photocopying form without written permission of the author, Eldonna Edwards, photographer, William Braddock, or the publisher, Whole Heart Publications

Although every precaution has been taken to verify the accuracy of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no responsibility for any errors or omissions. No liability is assumed for damages that may result from the use of information contained within.

Books may be purchased in quantity and/or special sales by contacting the publisher, Whole Heart Publications by email at

Published by: Whole Heart Publications, Avila Beach, CA www.wholeheartpublications.com

Author website: www.eldonnaedwards.com

Interior Design by: Deborah Bradseth/Tugboat Design

Cover Design by: Deborah Bradseth/Tugboat Design

Edited by: William Braddock

Cover Photos by: William Braddock

First Edition

Printed in USA

We are all ordinary. We are all boring. We are all spectacular. We are all shy. We are all bold. We are all heroes. We are all helpless. It just depends on the day . Brad Meltzer

For Kathy

And for all of you still waiting

Authors Notes

Most fifty-four year-olds cant remember where they left reading glasses (dishwasher? linen cabinet?) let alone an exact conversation or what someone wore on a Tuesday three years ago. Any detective will confirm that ten witnesses to the same event will tell ten different stories. This is my story. Ive done my very best to tell it honestly and fairly, in a way that captures the essence of people and conversations as well as the organic unfolding of occurrences as I remember them. I harvested relevant excerpts from my former blog and in a couple of instances rearranged the precise order of events for claritys sake. Ive also changed a few names and identifying characteristics to protect the privacy of certain people, noted with an astersisk.* The rest of yall, well, you knew I was writing about you and you trusted me. I am ever so grateful to each of you.

PART ONE

Chapter One

Fall 2006

I bumped into Lucy* in the cafeteria as we both found a table where we could grab a bite and study for an afternoon test.

Hey, Ellie she said, sliding her lanky body into the seat across from me. Hows it going?

Id decided to go by my nickname at school partly because it felt more casual than Eldonna and partly because people invariably end up calling me everything from LaDonna to Eldora to Elvira when I use my given name.

Pretty good. Im starving, as you can probably tell from the size of my sandwich and this mountain of coleslaw. Noticing her tiny salad, I wondered if it was her appetite or budget that kept her from ordering more. But I cant really eat all this. Would you like some?

I picked up half my sandwich but she stopped me with a wave of her hand.

No thank you. Im vegan, actually.

Oh. Sorry. I mean, not sorry youre vegan, just that I shoved meat at you.

Lucy laughed.

Its okay, really. Im not offended by people who eat meat. She pulled a notebook from her canvas backpack and opened it to a page of neatly scribed outlines. Are you ready for the test today?

I swallowed a mouthful of dry bread and shook my head.

Not really. I missed a couple lectures because I needed to work.

Would you like to copy my notes? She slid the notebook across the table. Its pretty general stuff you probably already know at your age. She stopped and looked up at me, her mouth slightly agape. Oh man, that didnt come out right. I meant because you have more life experience than most of us.

It was my turn to laugh. I figured I'd stand out like a banana in a bowl of grapes at Cuesta Community College. Surprisingly nobody seemed to notice the middle-aged student standing behind them at the register in the cafeteria, strolling past them in the bathroom without stopping to check her mascara, or nodding knowingly as an instructor discussed the Viet Nam war without having read the text. I didnt take it personally when I felt invisible to my fellow students. Thirty years earlier, married and already caring for two children, my reality was very different from theirs. And yet it was all I could do to suppress the daily urge to hug everyone in the classroom just because they were all so damn fresh and on the verge of their young lives.

Honestly Im tickled youd even want to sit with someone old enough to be your mom let alone help me study for a test.

Dude, youre way cooler than most people your age. And I totally thought you were in your thirties. I love the insights you offer in class.

I was still considering what it meant to be called dude when she added, Plus youre a massage therapist. I think thats awesome.

Thanks. I feel pretty old next to all of you but everyones been really friendly and inclusive. I didnt realize how much Ive missed being in school.

She poked at her salad, long fingers curled around a clear plastic fork.

So can I ask you something, Lucy?

Sure, whats up?

Are you vegan for ethical or health reasons?

Both I guess. I have kidney disease and animal proteins are harder for my body to process. I look at my diet as medicine for my illness.

Hearing this, the mother-me immediately knocked the dude-me out of her chair and took over.

Oh Hon, Im sorry.

Its okay. Just a shitty roll of the cosmic dice. Could be worse, Im sure.

So is there anything they can do? Will you get a transplant at some point?

She rolled her napkin into a ball and stuffed it into the pocket of her belted jacket.

Not really. For now Im managing. The waiting list for an organ is years and years away but I wouldnt do it anyway.

What? Why not?

I guess you could say Im a Darwinist. Survival of the fittest and all that. Im not a fan of western medicine and Id rather just embrace my body, treat it well, and enjoy whatever life I have regardless of how long or short it might be.

I set down my water glass and leaned forward.

I dont understand. Youre a smart, insightful young woman with a bright future ahead of you. With so much to offer dont you feel a moral obligation to stick around as long as possible?

Ellie, Im not willing to lead a half-life on dialysis. Id rather live a full one up until the point my kidneys no longer function.

I couldnt believe what I was hearing and the healer in me wanted at her like duct tape on a busted lawn chair. Surely I could change her mind!

Before I had a chance to debate her last statement she stood and wrapped a red scarf around her long neck.

You can keep the notes for now. Im going for a walk.

You sure?

Of course. Ill see you in class.

I watched Lucy empty her tray before striding though big double doors into the campus courtyard, long thin legs carrying her willowy body as if she were propelled by wings. A light rain started to fall and little droplets tapped at the cafeteria window as she drifted out of sight.

I shoved my plate aside and glanced down at her carefully written notes but my mind refused to release its grip on my heart. How could this lovely and intelligent young woman so easily detach from the likelihood of an untimely death? And what in the world could I do to convince her to change her mind? Of all the students in that class she was the one Id noticed early on as she engaged the instructor in vigorous debates about everything from cultural brainwashing of young girls to the sexual slavery trade that operates right under our noses in this country.

Unable to study, I packed up my papers and headed toward the building that housed the humanities classes. Once serving as a National Guard facility, the scattered structures were gradually being modernized. No matter how ugly the building, one couldnt ignore the fact that the setting itself was fairly striking. Situated three miles north of San Luis Obispo, the campus is shadowed on the north side by Hollister Peak, one of nine volcanic cores leading to the Pacific Ocean, and across the street from a botanical garden. The former military compound has been transformed into an inviting web of walkways leading through trees with stunning views in most every direction.