Jason Vuic - The Yucks: Two Years in Tampa with the Losingest Team in NFL History

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Copyright 2016 by Jason Vuic

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Interior design by Paul J. Dippolito

Jacket design by Jonathan Bush

Back cover image of Council Rudolph Tampa Bay Times /The Image Works

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN 978-1-4767-7226-4

ISBN 978-1-4767-7228-8 (ebook)

To Mila and Angel

Growing up, I was a huge Dallas Cowboys fan, but on Sundays we got Bucs games on TV.... Oh, I used to pray that lightning would come down and strike the tower so I could see the Cowboys. But it never did, so I had to watch the Bucs, the Yucks we called them, losing week after week.

Warren Sapp, Hall of Fame defensive tackle, Tampa Bay Buccaneers

On Mount Olympus of futility, the [197677] Buccaneers are Zeus.... Take the 2008 Lions, the 197475 Capitals and the 1962 Mets and throw them into a bag. Then light it on fire. Thats the Bucs.

James Irwin, Washington Examiner

About once a week, on NBCs famed The Tonight Show, comedian Johnny Carson played Carnac the Magnificent, a turbaned and shawl-wearing mystic who answered questions, in sealed envelopes, by touching them to his forehead. The segment began when sidekick Ed McMahon introduced Carnac as the Mystic from the East, and said with a grave voice, I hold in my hand the envelopes. As a child of four can plainly see, these envelopes are hermetically sealed. Theyve been kept in a number two mayonnaise jar on Funk and Wagnalls porch since noon today. By this point, the audience, who knew the shtick, was laughing. No one knows the answers to the questions inside these envelopes, but YOU, in your divine and mystical way, will ascertain the answers! Carnac would nod and ask for silence. The answer, he said, in one 1974 skit, is bedbug. Bedbug. McMahon repeated the words while Carnac opened the envelope. He paused for effect. Question: What would Republicans use to eavesdrop on a hooker? The audi

One recurring joke involved the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. In 1976, the National Football Leagues (NFL) newest expansion franchise lost every game, and by December 1977, it had lost twenty-six games in a row, an NFL record. Carson couldnt resist. Each night he told Bucs jokes in his monologue, and once, as the mystical Carnac, he provided this answer: The Titanic and the Buccaneers. The question was Name two disasters that were accompanied by band music. Referring to a well-known commercial in which the Pittsburgh Steelers tried, unsuccessfully, to destroy Samsonite luggage, Carson said the Bucs couldnt beat the bags. He began one show by saying, What an opening! I havent heard applause like that since the Tampa Bay Buccaneers sacked Fran Tarkenton in his hospital bed. Then, I dont think the guys expected to win, he said. I mean they trotted out on the field wearing leisure suits. Even David Brenner, Carsons substitute on The Tonight Show, opened with: I can tell youre disappointed its me tonight and not Johnny. Its like buying tickets to see the Oakland Raiders and having the Tampa Bay Buccaneers run out instead.

For a time, Carson was synonymous with the Bucs. In 1977, the St. Petersburg Times noted that Tampa Bay has had no more caustic critic than Johnny Carson. Each defeat has brought new punch lines. Each shutout, a new chuckle. Chuck Barris, the corny, absurdist host of TVs The Gong Show, who later claimed to be a CIA assassin, threatened to give contestants Tampa Bay tickets if they lost. Comedian Redd Foxx did a variety show skit in which he gave the team a halftime pep talk, and Dwayne, the Hey, Hey, Hey! character from the TV show Whats Happening!! developed a unique gambling system in which he unwisely picked the Bucs. (Reruns uncle bet on the team and lost five hundred dollars.)

The low point, perhaps, was when Charles Nelson Reilly, the worst comedian in the history of, well, Earth, said: My career has sunk so low Im doing victory dinners for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Nevertheless, the Bucs staff sent Carson a game ball, while the St. Petersburg Times organized a drive in which fans sent Carson thousands of Bucs Sack Johnny editions of the newspaper. A few days later, Carson, whod been on vacation, opened with the Bucs. Forget whats happening on the world scene, he said. The big news is that the Tampa Bay Buccaneers finally won. The crowd roared its applause. I understand that down there they had banners saying Sack Johnny because of the jokes Ive been making, but I intend to continue. He then said that the Bucs had received a congratulatory note from President Richard Nixon (they hadntNixon had left office and was living more or less in exile); that the Bucs had torn down the goalposts during the game; and that McKay hadnt really expected to win because hed asked the team to tie one for the Gipper. The jokes ended, finally, when Carson thanked McKay for the game ball, graciously, and said in the future, hed be behind the Buccaneers.

In the coming weeks, Carson referred to the Bucs just one more time, when Ed McMahon asked how Jimmy Carter was doing as president. Well, let me put it this way, he said. Tampa Bay won two more than he did. That was it; Carsons last Buccaneers joke. The next season the Bucs were 5-11, but had a better record than the Cincinnati Bengals, the San Francisco 49ers, and the Kansas City Chiefs. Thats when we

But really, how bad were the BucsI mean, the 0-26 197677 Bucs, the franchise with the longest losing streak in NFL history? Lets do the math. In 1976, the Bucs were outscored 412 to 125. Thats a per-game equivalent of 29 to 9. They were 28th in offense, 27th in defense, and were shut out 5 times. The teams first touchdown, ever, was a fumble return in week four. Its first passing touchdown was in week six, and even that was a busted running play in which running back Louis Carter was stopped on the goal line, but had the presence of mind to throw. The teams starting quarterback was Steve Spurrier. Yes... that Steve Spurrier, a career backup with the 49ers who had 7 touchdowns and 12 interceptions, and who was sacked 32 times. Louis Carter led the team in rushing; he had 521 yards and 1 touchdown. The Bucs best receiver, Morris Owens, didnt play for the team until week threehed been cut by Miami and picked up on waiverswhile the Bucs two kickers were 8 for 18.