Dolores Stewart Riccio - Ladies Courting Trouble

D ouble, double, toil and trouble Phillipa grinned wickedly as she lay down the tenth card from the Rider-Waite deck, last of the layout; it was called The Moon. I wouldnt take on any new crusades if I were you, Cass. From start to finish, this reading counsels you to watch your step. She leaned over the layout, dark wings of her hair falling forward, her expression disapproving, like a garage mechanic sizing up a faulty carburetor.

A bunch of swords and wands in my cards, so what? I was beginning to be sorry that Id asked her to read the tarot for me. Three phases of the moon looking down upon a howling wolf and a smiling dogwhat was so bad about that?

Its a card of hidden foes and unforeseen perils. The wolf, nowthats a symbol of untamed creation. The dog, on the other hand, adapts to mankind insofar as it suits his own interests, sort of like your dog, Scruffy. And see this rugged path through hostile country? Not to mention this crayfish popping out from the pool of the Cosmic Mind. Phillipas blunt fingernail pointed to various pictorial elements. What did you tell me you were doing this Samhain? I mean, apart from our own circle ceremony.

Church. Ive been invited to give a talk at the Garden of Gethsemane Ladies League on the origins of Halloween in our Samhain. I really loathe giving speeches, but I feel I ought to represent Wicca in a favorable light whenever I have the chance.

Fire burn, and cauldron bubble, my hostess intoned, giving a quick stir to the pot of pear and mango chutney simmering on her Viking range, wafting the spicy aroma throughout the room. I thought there must be extra calories in the very air of Phillipas state-of-the-art kitchen. Not to mention the Fall Fruit Breads we were sampling with our tea, the theme of her next bimonthly cable cooking show, Kitchen Magic . As Colette wrote, and Phillipa was fond of quoting on and off the air, If you arent up to a little magic, you shouldnt waste your time trying to cook.

Phillipa returned to the long marble table and gave my cards another gloomy look before gathering them up. Five of wands, seven of swords. Maybe the Gethsemane Ladies are planning an exorcism or something. Rid you of the cursed demons that possess you, my dear.

Not at all, I said. The Reverend Peacedale couldnt be more ecumenical-minded. I suspect hes quite interested in the mystic experience per se. My clairvoyant episodes, I mean. And he understands that the ancient nature religions predate the advent of Satan and therefore have nothing devilish about them.

Well, dont say you werent warned.

Which is what I thought about later, while having my stomach pumped out at Jordan Hospital. The Ladies League Hospitality Hour had been as disastrous as my lugubrious friend possibly could have predicted. Only the strong hands of my bridegroom, Joe Ulysses, holding me back by one shoulder, and those of a robust nurse on the other side had kept me from pulling the gagging, scratching tube out of my throat and to hell with it. Probably one of the worst hours of my life. I really was tempted to call up a few impish entities Id read about to avenge my misery, but I am pledged to work on the white side of Wicca.

I wasnt the only one enduring the unendurable. Several members of the League and the ministers wife were also at the hospital, and as I learned later, one of the older spinsters, whose passion was chocolateLydia Craigwouldnt be making it to the All Saints Day service on November first. Poison hemlock causes weakness, nausea, vomiting, difficulty in breathing, and, if enough of it is ingested, paralysis and death. And those mystery brownies had been cleverly laced with the stuff. It was almost enough to turn a gal off chocolate forever.

I recalled how Mrs. PeacedalePattyhad made a face when she nibbled at her brownie, muttering that the baking soda had not been properly sifted into the flour. I too had thought they were rather musty or mousy-tasting despite a liberal dose of vanilla. But any brownies would suffer in comparison to Phillipas.

Then, when everyone began to feel ill, the herbal lore in my brain clicked in. I guessed immediately what wed eaten and told the paramedics. Im certain it was poison hemlockthat mousy aftertaste, Id said weakly. Due to my conviction, we all got our stomachs pumped out immediately, while I was mentally kicking myself for my stupidity. Id eaten one too many bites of that fetid brownie, purely out of politeness.

As the endless day at Jordan Hospital wore on, and it was obvious that I would never eat again, I urged Joe to go home to feed himself and Scruffy. Dont worry about me, I said faintly, laying on the guilt. You two have a good meal.

His Aegean blue eyes looked worried and somewhat reproachful. How could this happen? And at a church social, for Gods sake? Cant you go anywhere without being drawn into danger?

Is this the pot calling the kettle black ass? I suggested. As a ships engineer for Greenpeace, Joe continually sails into his own share of perilous misadventures.

And I thought that once we were married youd be happy to stay at home and tend to the weaving, he complained, grinning sheepishly. After a few restorative kisses, he left, with touching reluctance, and the evening nurse appeared.

Hi. My name is Brenda. Are we feeling better now, Mrs. Ulysses? she inquired briskly while she took my blood pressure. Although assuming an air of motherly authority, she was at least ten years younger than I, a pale girl with slightly protruding eyes and fine brown hair falling out of its coil. You were lucky, you know, honey. You didnt eat too much, and it didnt get too far. Was that your husband who just left? Nice tan for this time of year. Tanning salon?

No, Greenpeace. He travels the world in search of environmental hazards, often in tropical climes. And its Ms. Shipton, I mumbled. My throat was still sore. My good luck was being the guest speaker at the League. People kept asking me questions, so I was delayed in getting to the hospitality table until after almost everyone else. And I didnt finish my brownie, which didnt taste very good.

She checked my bracelet I.D. Oh, yes. Shipton. I see. I wouldnt mind being a Mrs. myself, but thats just me. What was the talk about, honey?

Nature spirituality religions in pagan times. The origins of Halloween. And modern-day Wicca.

Is that, like, witches, curses, and all? Nurse Brenda glanced at my face again as if she might have missed some telltale sign, such as green skin or a wart on my nose. Soon shed connect Shipton with our circles notoriety in becoming involved in local crimes.