Durang - Baby with the bathwater, and, Laughing wild

Baby
with the
Bathwater
AND
Laughing
Wild

Christopher Durang works published by Grove Press:

The Marriage of Bette and Boo

Christopher Durang Explains It All for You

(volume includes:

The Nature and Purpose of the Universe

dentity Crisis

Titanic

The Actors Nightmare

Sister Mary Ignatius Explains It All for You

Beyond Therapy )

Bettys Summer Vacation

Miss Witherspoon and Mrs. Bob Cratchits Wild Christmas Binge

Why Torture Is Wrong, and the People Who Love Them and Other Political Plays

Vanya and Sonia and Masha and Spike

Baby
with the
Bathwater
AND
Laughing
Wild

TWO PLAYS BY

Christopher Durang

Baby with the Bathwater copyright 1984 by Christopher Durang

Laughing Wild copyright 1988 by Christopher Durang

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Any members of educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use, or publishers who would like to obtain permission to include the work in an anthology, should send their inquiries to Grove/Atlantic, Inc., 841 Broadway, New York, NY 10003.

Printed in the United States of America

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Durang, Christopher, 1949

[Laughing wild]

Laughing wild ; and, Baby with the bathwater : two plays / by Christopher Durang.

p.cm.

ISBN 978-0-8021-3130-0 (pbk.)

eISBN 978-0-8021-8889-2

I. Title: Laughing wild. II. Title: Baby with the bathwater.

PS3554.U666L3198888-13938

812.54dcl9

Designed by Irving Perkins Associates

Grove Press

an imprint of Grove/ Atlantic, Inc.

841 Broadway

New York, NY 10003

Distributed by Publishers Group West

www.groveatlantic.com

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Caution: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that Baby with the Bathwater and Laughing Wild are subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America, and of all countries covered by the International Copyright Union (including the Dominion of Canada and the rest of the British Commonwealth), and of all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention and the Universal Copyright Convention, and of all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved. Particular emphasis is laid upon the question of readings, permission for which must be secured from the authors agent in writing.

The stage performance rights in Baby with the Bathwater and Laughing Wild (other than first-class rights) are controlled exclusively by the Dramatists Play Service, Inc., 440 Park Avenue South, New York, N.Y. 10016. No professional performance of the play (excluding first-class professional performance) may be given without obtaining in advance the written permission of the Dramatists Play Service, Inc., and paying the requisite fee.

Inquiries concerning all other rights should be addressed to Helen Merrill, Ltd., 435 West 23rd Street, #1A, New York, N.Y. 10011.

Contents

Baby
with the
Bathwater

Baby with the Bathwater was first presented off-Broadway on November 9, 1983, by Playwrights Horizons in New York City; Andre Bishop, artistic director; Paul Daniels, managing director. The production was directed by Jerry Zaks; sets designed by Loren Sherman; costumes designed by Rita Ryack; lighting designed by Jennifer Tipton; sound designed by Jonathan Vall. Production stage manager was Esther Cohen; stage manager was Diane Ward. The cast was as follows:

In the subsequent run of the play, the role of Nanny/Kate/Principal was taken over by Kate McGregor-Stewart, then by Mary Louise Wilson, then by Cynthia Darlow. The understudies were Melodie Somers and William Kux. During the plays final week Ms. Somers played the part of Helen.

Baby with the Bathwater had its world premiere at the American Repertory Theatre in Cambridge, Massachusetts, on March 31, 1983, Robert Brustein, artistic director, Rob Orchard, managing director. The production was directed by Mark Linn-Baker; sets designed by Don Soule; costumes designed by Liz Perlman; lighting designed by Thom Palm; sound designed by Randolph Head. Production stage manager was John Grant-Phillips. The cast was as follows:

Characters

H ELEN , the mother

J OHN , the father

N ANNY , the nanny

C YNTHIA

K ATE

A NGELA

M RS . W ILLOUGHBY , the principal

M ISS P RINGLE , a teacher

Y OUNG M AN

S USAN

The parts of N ANNY , K ATE , and M RS . W ILLOUGHBY may be played by the same actress. The parts of C YNTHIA , A NGELA , M ISS P RINGLE , and S USAN may be played by the same actress.

Act I

SCENE 1

The home of J OHN and H ELEN , a couple in their late twenties or early thirties. They are standing over a bassinet.

H ELEN : Hello, baby. Hello.

J OHN : It looks just like me.

H ELEN : Yes it does. Smaller.

J OHN : Well, yes.

H ELEN : And it looks just like me. It has my hair.

J OHN : Yes it does.

H ELEN ( slightly worried ): I wonder if it would have been better off having your hair?

J OHN ( reassuringly ): Your hair is lovely.

H ELEN ( touched ): Thank you.

J OHN : Youre welcome. ( They smile at one another warmly. Back to the bassinet .) Hello, baby. Hello. Cooooo.

H ELEN : Cooooooo. Cummmmm-quat. Cummmmm-quat!

J OHN : Hee haw. Hee haw. Daddys little baked potato.

H ELEN : Dont call the child a baked potato.

J OHN : Its a term of affection.

H ELEN : It isnt. Its a food. No one wants to be called a baked potato.

J OHN : Well, it doesnt speak English.

H ELEN : The various books say that you should presume your child can understand you. We dont want it to have problems in kindergarten or marriage because you called it a baked potato.

J OHN : It seems to me youre losing your sense of humor.

H ELEN ( firmly ): I just dont want to make the child insanethats all. Bringing up a child is a delicate thing.

J OHN : All right, youre not a baked potato, sweet pea. ( She looks at him in horror; he senses her look. ) And youre not a sweet pea either. Youre a baby. Bay-bee. Bay-bee.

H ELEN : I want a divorce.