Greenwald - Have him at hello: confessions from 1,000 guys about what makes them fall in love-- or never call back

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER 1

The good news is that you met someone you kinda like. You talk to an intriguing stranger at a party, or exchange e-mails with a cute guy online, or have a great date with a promising guy but euphoria quickly turns to dread. Will you ever hear from him again? Fast-forward seven days, and youre sitting around with your girlfriends debating why he disappeared. You thought things went well, you expected to see him again but then poof! He vanished inexplicably. What happened in between See you soon! and poof? You speculate, you obsess, you rationalize, you justify. You just want to know what happened. Maybe a mutual friend tells you something like this: The good news is that he thinks youre terrific! But, um, the bad news is that hes busy at work! It just isnt the right timing for him. When your friend concludes, Its not you, its him, youre curious: is that the truth, or simply code for You said or did something that turned him off, but no one wants to hurt your feelings by actually telling you what it was?

Of course there are many times that things go really well after a date with a different guy, and he texts or calls you right away. He cant wait to see you again. What goes right those times? Youre the same person, obviously! Why is one guy into you, and the other one isnt? And why does it seem like the ones you dont care about always pursue you, while the one guy you actually liked got away? Its an annoying mystery. Will you ever find out the truth?

Guess what? There is someone who does know the truth about what turned him onor offduring your first few dates, e-mails, texts, phone calls, or flirtation with him. But its not you. Its not your friends. And its certainly not your mother. Its the guy himself. And since youre probably too embarrassed to ask him outright for the good, the bad, and the ugly, I decided to ask him for you! As a dating coach, I was tired of vague platitudes from men who didnt want another date with one of my clients who I thought was fabulous, as well as mystified when men said, Shes the one. Its just a feeling, I cant explain it. I wanted details. I wanted reasons. I wanted to know so that next time you could do more of some things and less of others. Well, I got this crazy idea to interview 1,000 guys to find out specifically why Cupids arrow hit or missed when he met you. I embarked on a fascinating ten-year dating research project, and I got some real answers. It turns out there are clear, tangible, consistent reasons why men either fall for you or disappear. Sure, sometimes you have good days or bad days, and sometimes the issues are all his. But it turns out that most times were immediately sending signals we might not be aware of, and those inadvertent signals determine which way the date goes.

This is crucial information you need to hear. Think about it. In the bad-news scenario, what if you learned that three out of the last four guys who didnt call you back after a date had the same reason? And that it was actually a misunderstanding, or at least something you could change if you wanted to? It might initially hurt your feelings, but its important to find out what happenedespecially if its not a reflection of who you really are. In the early stage of dating, perception is reality. When the right guy comes along in the future and theres no room for error, you want him to see immediately how great you really are. And when another guy is pursuing you, thats certainly good news, but what if youre not attracted to him? You should know why you captured his interest so quickly, so that you can repeat the magic formula when you meet another guy you