Kelly - Song for a Whale

Until last summer I thought the only thing I had in common with that whale on the beach was a name.

I sat with Grandpa after collecting shells and driftwood scattered along the shore, and wildflowers from the dunes. The shells and driftwood were for Grandma, and the flowers were for the whale. Grandpa had asked how school was going, and I told him it was the same, which wasnt good. Id been at that school for two years and still felt like the new kid.

Grandpa patted the sand next to him. Did you know she was probably deaf too? he signed.

I didnt have to ask who he meant. The whale had been buried there for eleven years, and my parents had told me enough times about what happened that day.

I shook my head. I hadnt known that, and I didnt know why Grandpa was changing the subject. Maybe he didnt know what to tell me anymore about school.

The whale had beached herself the same day I was born. When she was spotted in the shallow waters of the Gulf, some people stood on the shore and watched her approach. My grandma ran into the cold February water and tried to push her away from land, as if she could make a forty-ton animal change her mind about where she wanted to go. That was really dangerous. Even though the whale was weak by then, one good whack with a tail or flipper could have knocked Grandma out. I dont know what I wouldve donejumped in like she did or just stood there.

She wasnt born deaf like we were, Grandpa continued. The scientists who studied her said it had just happened. Maybe shed been swimming near an explosion from an oil rig or a bomb test.

When Grandpa told a story, I saw it as clearly as if it were happening right there in front of me. His signing hands showed me the whale in an ocean that suddenly went quiet, swimming over there, over there, over there, trying to find the sounds again. Maybe that was why shed been there on our Gulf of Mexico beach instead of in deep ocean waters where she belonged. Sei whales didnt swim so close to shore. Only her, on that day.

A whale cant find its way through a world without sound, Grandpa added. The ocean is dark, and it covers most of the earth, and whales live in all of it. The sounds guide them through that, and they talk to one another across oceans.

With the familiar sounds of the ocean gone, the whale was lost in her new silent world. A rescue group came to the beach and tried to save the whale, and they called her Iris. Grandma asked my parents to give the name to me, too, since Id entered the world as the whale was leaving it.

After the marine biologists learned all they could from her, she was buried right there on the beach, along with the unanswered questions about what had brought her to that shore.

We lived on that coast until the summer after second grade, when my family moved to Houston for my dads new job. Since then, we went back just once or twice a summer. The good thing about our new home was that it was closer to my grandparents. I liked being able to spend more time with them, especially since they were both Deaf like me. But we all missed the beach, and I missed being around kids like me. My old school had just a few Deaf kids, but that was enough. We had our classes together, and we had one another.

But its different for us, Grandpa signed. Out here, theres more light, and all we need is our own small space to feel at home. Sometimes it takes time to figure things out. But youll do it. Youll find your way.

I wish Id asked him then how long that would take.

Id come to the conclusion that sending me to the office was Ms. Conns only joy in life. That made me responsible for her happiness, in a way, but I tried to slip into class without her noticing. I was only a minute late this time, and I had a really good reason.

She pointed toward the front office before I could drop into my chair.

When I got back to the room with my tardy pass, Ms. Conn said to my interpreter, Mr. Charles, Tell Iris to move over next to Nina so she can catch her up. She usually talked around me like that. Mr. Charles had told her so many times that she could just talk to me, and he would interpret the message instead of always saying Tell Iris Finally he gave up reminding her. She was never going to get it.

Also, I didnt need help catching up, and I for sure didnt want it from Nina.

Ill catch myself up, I signed. When Mr. Charles voiced that for Ms. Conn, her face turned even meaner than usual, which I hadnt thought was possible. She didnt say anything elsejust jerked a pointed finger to the space next to Ninas desk.

The plan made sense to Ms. Conn because she thought Nina was the smartest person in class, and Nina thought she knew sign language. Shed checked out a library book about it, so that made her an expert. Some people have the kind of confidence that lets them get away with being clueless.

Nina signed something to me as I slid my desk over to her territory.

I asked Mr. Charles, Did she just call herself a giant squirrel?