BATHROOM READERS INSTITUTE
San Diego, California
WEIRD CANADA
By the
Bathroom Readers
Institute
OUR REGULAR READERS RAVE!
I love Uncle Johns books so much I quoted one of them in my Masters thesis.
Meg B.
The best thing to pleasantly pass the time doing what nature intended? Read Uncle Johns, of course!
Brian H.
Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader keeps me on the edge of my seat!
Jeremy C.
Ive been a fan of Uncle Johns Bathroom Readers for years. I now have a whole bookshelf in my bathroom.
Bandia A.
Its better than chocolate. Its better than pudding. I daresay its better than chocolate pudding.
Josh W.
Ive been a member in good sitting since the beginning. Its been my Christmas present to myself for the past 25 years!
Matt C.
Everything I know I learned from Uncle John.
Michelle W.
Reading Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader sure beats reading the back of the hairspray can or counting the tiles on the floor!
Jackie P.
UNCLE JOHNS WEIRD CANADA
BATHROOM READER
Copyright 2013 Portable Press
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Portable Press/The Bathroom Readers Institute
An imprint of Printers Row Publishing Group
10350 Barnes Canyon Road, Suite 100
San Diego, CA 92121
www.bathroomreader.com
e-mail: mail@portablepress.com
All correspondence concerning the content of this book should be addressed to Portable Press/The Bathroom Readers Institute, Editorial Department, at the above address.
Printers Row Publishing Group is a division of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC.
The Portable Press, Bathroom Readers Institute, and Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader names and logos are trademarks of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC.
Produced by Print Matters, Inc. (www.printmatters.com)
and the Bathroom Readers Institute.
Cover design by Andy Taray / Ohioboy.com
eISBN 13: 978-1-60710-923-5
e-book edition: September 2013
THANK YOU!
The Bathroom Readers Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible.
Gordon Javna
Brian Boone
Jay Newman
Don Rauf
Thom Little
Trina Janssen
Andy Taray
Christy Taray
Jack Feerick
Megan Todd
Jon Cummings
Will Harris
Brandon Hartley
Eleanor Pierce
Dave Lifton
Michael Conover
Kim Griswell
Michael Centore
Michael Troy
Ken Mondschein
Kelly Tomkies
Ann Morrill
Michael Cramer
Celia Seupel
Carol Ersepke
Devanand Madhukar
Jack Mingo
Melinda Allman
Aaron Guzman
Blake Mitchum
Baron von Rothschild
David Archie Andrews
Raincoast Books
Pete MacDougall
Sandy Cooper
Paddy Laidley
Jamie Broadhurst
Terry Fox
Robin Sparkles
Thomas Crapper
CONTENTS
Because the BRI understands your reading needs, weve divided the contents by subject.
LIFE IS STRANGE
SONG & DANCE
EAT UP!
BUSINE$$
MOUTHING OFF
SHOOTS AND SCORES
ACT NATURALLY
IN THE NEWS
STAGE & SCREEN
SPOOKY STUFF
LAW & ORDER
ITS JUST POLITICS
CREATURE FEATURES
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE
HISTORICALLY ODD
GE-ODD-GRAPHY
COME TO CANADA
CANADIANA
WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE
ITS A BLUNDERFUL LIFE
THATS DEATH!
FORGOTTEN HISTORY
POT-POURRI
CANUCK, CANUCK, WHOS THERE?
U ncle John loves Canada! We always make sure to include something about the Great White North in every single one of our books.
But our Canadian readers kept asking for morewe want an entire book, a full, gigantic, Nunavut-sized Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader all about Canada! they begged. Belive us, plenty of great stuff goes down up here. Our readers are a discerning bunch, conneisseurs of fun facts, terrific trivia, and unbelievable esoterica. We couldnt do just any book about Canada, and fill it with hockey statistics, Mountie jokes, and photos of Anne Murray. Uncle John just couldnt do that. And its because Uncle John knows a secret about Canada.
Canada is a really weird place.
Behold: Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader Weird Canada. A whopping 400 pages chockful of every odd, nutty, crazy, preposterous, sillyand even scaryperson, place, or thing, thats ever been associated with Canada. Ghosts in the Yukon? Its here. The refusal to adhere to the standards of time in Newfoundland? Its in Uncle Johns Weird Canada. And so are stories about
Creatures, real and possibly real, like Sasquatch, the Ogopogo monster, and the Grolar Bear
The worlds smallest library, and the worlds largest pierogi
The only-in-Canada fad of bed-pushing
The man with a window in his stomach
A ghost-hunting agency in Vancouver that finds the things you cant see, and a bookstore in Toronto full of the books that they dont want you to read
How the governments push for Canadian content led to the worst TV show in world history, and the funniest duo in sketch comedy history
Weird stuff you never knew about Canadian mainstays, such as Wayne Gretzky, Bryan Adams, Neil Young, Guy Lafleuer, Joni Mitchell, and the Barenaked Ladies
Funny thoughts on Canadaand what it means to be Canadianfrom singular Canadian minds like Stephen Leacock, Will Ferguson, and Douglas Coupland
More alien encounters, haunted hotels, and unexplained noises than you can shake a (hockey) stick at
And of course, youll find the usual dose of weird news, strange people, odd animals, goofy places, and refreshing tales of unlikely success and spectacular failure that youll always find in one of those regular old states-centric Bathroom Readers.
In short, theres something for everyone in Canada, from Canada, or who just plain loves Canada, whether youre a Slurpee-slurper in Winnipeg or stand-up Sasquatch from Saskatchewan. Welcome to Weird Canadabut we dont have to tell you thatyou probably already live there.
Enjoy readingand chimo!
(And a hearty hello from Chimothats him down there.)
Uncle John and the BRI staff
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