Bathroom Readers� Institute - Uncle Johns heavy duty bathroom reader

Uncle Johns Heavy Duty Bathroom Reader@

Bathroom Readers Institute

Portable Press (2012)

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By the
Bathroom Readers
Institute

Bathroom Readers Press
Ashland, Oregon

OUR REGULAR
READERS RAVE!

Keep up the good work. I love your books and have almost every one of them. I got my Mom and Dad hooked on them two years ago, and my brother and wife recently started reading as well.

Jon

You guys are amazing! I love fun trivia facts and history. My favorite thing about your book is that it is so random and funny.

John

I love your books. Theyre very educational and highly entertaining. I never want to set them down until I finish them. Keep them coming.

Roland

Just a note to tell you that Ive really enjoyed all 22 editions!

Michael

I love Uncle Johns Bathroom Readers! I annoy everyone at school, my weirdo cousin, and my parents with your completely useless information. And it isnt all useless. During school we do trivia, and I answer almost all of them correctly!

Megan

I just wanted to say thank you for the book. I read it every dayits become my Bathroom Bible.

Katherine

You guys are so amazingly smart! How do you know all this stuff? Like, come on, all the stuff I learned in Did You Know? and Facts to Annoy Your Teacher made me look just like Einstein!

Bobby

UNCLE JOHNS HEAVY DUTY
BATHROOM READER

Copyright 2010 by the Bathroom Readers Press (a division of Portable Press). All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

Bathroom Reader, Portable Press, and Bathroom Readers
Institute are
registered trademarks of Baker & Taylor. All rights reserved.

For information, write:
The Bathroom Readers Institute
P.O. Box 1117,
Ashland, OR 97520
www.bathroomreader.com

Cover design by Michael Brunsfeld, San Rafael, CA ( )

BRI technician on the back cover: Larry Kelp

eISBN: 978-1-60710-650-0

E-book edition: June 2012

Hiya, Sophie! Hiya, Jesse!

THANK YOU!

The Bathroom Readers Institute sincerely thanks the people whose advice and assistance made this book possible .

Gordon Javna

John Dollison

Brian Boone

Jay Newman

Thom Little

Amy Miller

Michael Brunsfeld

Angela Kern

Jolly Jeff Cheek

Jack Mingo

Erin Barrett

Jahnna Beecham

Malcolm Hillgartner

Megan Todd

Judy Plapinger

William Dooling

Jill Bellrose

Mikael Levin

Elizabeth Harvey

Michael Kerr

Christine DeGueron

James Greene Jr.

Leslie Weishar

Scarab Media

Amelia & Greta Zeve

Claudia Bauer

Geri Gale

Gary Morris

JoAnn Padgett

Melinda Allman

Monica Maestas

Amy & Annie

Ginger Winters

Maggie Javna

Matt Ofsanik

Tom Yellow Mustard

Sydney Stanley

David Calder

Karen Malchow

Elise Gochberg

Julie Bgin

Media Masters

Eddie Deezen

Publishers Group West

Bloomsbury Books

Raincoast Books

Porter the Wonder Dog

Thomas Crapper

Hiya, Sam! Hiya, Gideon!

CONTENTS

Because the BRI understands your reading needs, weve divided the contents by length as well as subject. Short a quick read Medium 2 to 3 pages Long for those extended visits, when something a little more involved is required * Extended for those leg-numbing experiences

INTRODUCTION

G REETINGS, FELLOW TRIVIA HOUNDS!

As we scramble to finish our latest (and our favorite-ever) Bathroom Reader, Im reminded of a question that I hear a lot: Arent you guys afraid youll run out of stuff to write about?

The answer is a big, fat no.

Were more concerned that were not going to live long enough to write about everything we plan to write about. (For example, in next years Bathroom Reader were going to include an amazing article abouton second thought, why spoil the surprise?) For us, every day is another fantastic opportunity to plunge into the depths of science, history, current events, language, sports, and pop culture. To explore strange, new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilizations. To boldly go (Oops. I got carried away again.)

But whats even more gratifying than hunting and gathering all the great information that goes into Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader is paring it all down to its most absorbing elements and passing it along to you.

So without further ado, here are a just a few of the Heavy Duty duty topics youll find in this book:

When Words Collide: Pun-ishing quotes, a guide to butt words, phrases coined on The Simpsons, and Esperantothe invented language that was supposed to bring about world peace

Flubs and Flops: The best worst movie ever, the Wicked Witch who fell through the stage, and Michelangelos dirty little secrets

Throne Room Tales: Toilet mishaps (as told by ER docs), an interesting morsel of archaeology called the Lloyds Bank Turd, poop thats art, and art that poops

Oddities Galore: The Whopperknocker and other mythical beasties, the strange fate of Big Nose Georges skull cap, some other famous leaning towers, and how to make prison wine

Pop Science: The healing powers of witch hazel, all about anthrax, the solar systems most violent moon, what the dinosaurs ate, and the physics of breakfast cereal

Origins: The Mini Cooper, the Magic 8-ball, the office cubicle, the shopping mall, and the Ch-ch-ch-chia pet!

History Unleashed: Intrepid explorers who never returned, the Mohawk skywalkers who built New Yorks Citys skyscrapers, and the man who made Pearl Harbor a day that will live in infamy

The Sporting Life: The weightlifter who ate himself out of the Olympics, the dangers of watching the Super Bowl, NASCARs most dangerous family, and Rollie Fingers $300 mustache

Creature Features: The powerful brains of birds, the complex societies of ants, a devil of a turtle, 185 uses for a pig (would you believetrain brakes?), and the secret language of dogs

And speaking of dogs, Im going to forego the usual thanking of the inhouse and outhouse BRI staff (Great job, everyone!) and take a moment to say thanks to the Bathroom Readers best friend, Porter the Wonder Dog. Youve been our loyal companion sincewell, before we even had an e-mail address. Thanks for your love, your cuteness, your tricks, and your sticking by my side on all those long nights of writing and editing. Porter, you give real meaning to the phrase good dog. Oh, yes you do!

So on behalf of Porter and the entire BRI staff, Happy Reading.

And as always

Iri kun la Fluo! *

Uncle John

(*Thats Esperanto for Go with the Flow!)

Check us out at www.bathroomreader.com . (Were now on Facebook and Twitter, too!) Its always interesting to find out where the architects of pop culture get their ideas. These may surprise you .

P ATRICK BATEMAN. In the 2000 movie American Psycho, Christian Bale portrayed Patrick Bateman, a stockbroker by day, sociopathic serial killer by night. Bale based his characterization on another actor. According to director Mary Harron, he had been watching Tom Cruise on David Letterman, and he just had this very intense friendliness with nothing behind the eyes.

DONKEY KONG. When a 1981 video game called Radar Scope sold poorly, Nintendo suddenly had 2,000 empty arcade-game cabinets to fill. At the same time, a deal with King Features to make a Popeye Nintendo game fell apart, so staff designer Shigeru Miyamoto just used the Popeye love triangle for inspirationPopeye, his girlfriend Olive Oyl, and brute Bluto became Mario, Pauline, and a giant ape named Donkey Kong.

BENDER AND NELSON. Cartoonist Matt Groenings two TV series are laced with references to John Bender, the teen rebel portrayed by Judd Nelson in The Breakfast Club, one of Groenings favorite movies. The hard-drinking, sarcastic robot Bender on Futurama was named for him; school bully Nelson Muntz on The Simpsons was named after Judd Nelson; and Bart Simpsons catchphrase eat my shorts was first uttered by John Bender.

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