William Dylan Powell - Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader Plunges into Texas

Foreword by William Dylan Powell

The Bathroom Readers
Hysterical Society

San Diego, CA

Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader Plunges into Texas

Copyright 2004 by Portable Press. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Portable Press/The Bathroom Readers Institute

An imprint of Printers Row Publishing Group

10350 Barnes Canyon Road, Suite 100, San Diego, CA 92121

www.bathroomreader.com

e-mail:

Printers Row Publishing Group is a division of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC.

The Portable Press, Bathroom Readers Institute, and Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader names and logos are registered trademarks of Readerlink Distribution Services, LLC.

All correspondence concerning the content of this book should be addressed to Portable Press/The Bathroom Readers Institute, Editorial Department, at the above address.

eISBN: 978-1-60710-467-4

E-book edition: November 2011

Project Team:

Amy Briggs, Project Editor

Gordon Javna, Publisher

JoAnn Padgett, Director, Editorial and Production Stephanie Spadaccini, Copy Editor

Michael Brunsfeld (), Cover Design Amanda Wilson, Interior Design and Composition

Vince Archuletta, Interior Artwork

Georgine Lidell, Inventory Manager

Recipe for Deep-Fried Rattlesnake on page 238 is taken from Small Game Cooking Care, (F&N 2-7) Texas Agricultural Extension Services, The Texas A&M University System. Reproduced with permission.

Cowboy Talk is reprinted from UNCLE JOHNS FIFTH BATHROOM READER 1992 by The Bathroom Readers Institute.

The Other Texans is reprinted from UNCLE JOHNS SUPREMELY SATISFYING BATHROOM READER 2001 by the Bathroom Readers Press (a Division of Portable Press.)

Without a Leg to Stand On is reprinted from UNCLE JOHNS BATHROOM READER PLUNGES INTO HISTORY 2001 by Portable Press.

The Yellow Rose of Texas is reprinted from UNCLE JOHNS BATHROOM READER PLUNGERS INTO GREAT LIVES 2003 by Portable Press.

The Bathroom Readers Hysterical Society sincerely thanks the following people who contributed selections to this work.

Brian Boone

Myles Callum

Jennifer Carlisle

Jeff Cheek

Clay Griffith

Kathryn Grogman

Gordon Javna

Lea Markson

Art Montague

Geoffrey Myers

Joseph OConnell

Bethanne Kelly Patrick

Debbie Pawlak

William Dylan Powell

John Scalzi

Stephanie Spadaccini

Sarah Thom

Christi Young

Texas! Few words spark such a roaring fire of imagery, imagination, and inspiration.

From cattle trails and black gold to Enron and NASA, the name is known from London to Laos. Tell a taxi driver anywhere on the planet that youre from the United States and youre just an American. Tell them youre from Texas and youre in for a hailstorm of questions and comments ranging from cattle to gun control to Anna Nicole Smith to the TV show Dallas. Its more than a locationits a legend. And whether you hang your hat in Houston like me, raise cattle in the Panhandle, or are just passing through, this land between the Red River and Rio Grande holds something that will astound you; almost too much to keep up with, in fact!

Thats where Uncle John comes in. The Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader series and Texas are a perfect fit: both are too big to ignore and too interesting to forget. This carefully crafted collection of amazing facts and figures and legends and lore gives locals the insight theyre thirsting for and lets visitors in on the Texas they dont often read about in other books. Only Uncle John could take the king-size tales and tidbits of Texas and pack them into an easily digestible digest thats as easy to read on the trail as it is in the homestead.

To make it happen, members of Uncle Johns Texas team traipsed all across the state from the Big Thicket to the Big Bend so you could enjoy its most amazing factsand all from the comforts of your Lone Star sanctuary. Deep in the heart of this latest Uncle Johns installment, youll find tales and trivia on all things Texas including:

Urban legends gone Texan

Hidden barbecue hotspots

The inspiration for Lonesome Dove

Legal issues that surround dining on roadkill

Classic football rivalries

And much more!

If this is your first time to crack an Uncle Johns cover, Id like to issue you an especially warm howdy. Youre now part of an underground movement dedicated to using the peace and quiet of los baos to squeeze some smarts into your cabezarather than just sitting there doing nada. If youre a long-time Uncle John compadre, youll be glad you didnt miss this Texas version: just another part of a tradition of rustling up the best in rest-stop reading!

If youre from Oklahoma... well... sorry there arent more pictures.

Make note of this books smooth pages and unbent back because in a month it will be as weathered and worn as a West Texas ranch-hand. So hang up your Stetson, put the Cowboys game on TiVo, and let your wranglers roam free-range while you flip the page and...

Plunge into the great state of Texas!

William Dylan Powell

Houston, Texas, U.S.A.

Greetings Yall!

If you have this book in your hands (which you must, if youre reading this)I envy you for youre about to embark on a larger-than-life journey through the land of the big, the bad, the beefy and the bodaciousthe land where the old and new West converge (drum roll, please): the great state of Texas!

The first in our new book series dedicated to the fifty states, Uncle Johns Bathroom Reader Plunges into Texas