Bertsche - Jennifer, Gwyneth & Me

Praise for MWF Seeking BFF by Rachel Bertsche

Friendship is one of the most important elements of a happy lifebut it can be tough to make new friends. In MWF Seeking BFF, Rachel Bertsche weaves together engaging and often hilarious adventures in search of a new best friend with the latest research about the science of friendship. I couldnt put it down.

G RETCHEN R UBIN , author of The Happiness Project

Funny, forthright, and honest as a midnight phone call, Bertsches zesty hosanna to female bonding defines what it is to be a double-X Millennial.

S HEILA W ELLER , author of Girls Like Us

Reading about Rachel Bertsches search for that special someone, youll find yourself thinking about all the friends youve ever hadand the ones you hope are right around the corner. Bertsche writes with engaging humor and a measure of poignancy, too. Youll enjoy joining her on the journey.

J EFFREY Z ASLOW , author of The Girls from Ames

Genuine, funny and thoroughly inspiring, MWF Seeking BFF is a tribute to female friendships and a must-read for anyone who has ever found herself sunk into her couch and scrolling through the phone list feeling like theres no one to call for a last-minute drink or Sunday brunch.

R ACHEL M ACHACEK , author of The Science of Single

MWF Seeking BFF is funny, charming, and so relatable. Throughout Rachel [Bertsche]s journey to develop more meaningful, enduring relationships with other women, I found myself wishing she had my number.

R OBYN O KRANT , author of Living Oprah

I guess you could say Rachel [Bertsche] had me at HelloI found myself totally invested in her honest, earnest, oftentimes hilarious quest for meaningful female friendship. Whether youre actively seeking a BFF yourself or simply recognize the value in making quality connections with other women, MWF Seeking BFF underscores the profound rewards we women stand to reap when we simply open up, reach out to one another, and go for it. A smart, fun, and inspiring page-turner that will surely resonate.

K ELLY V ALEN , author of The Twisted Sisterhood

Jennifer, Gwyneth & Me is a work of nonfiction. Some names and identifying details have been changed.

A Ballantine Books eBook Edition

Copyright 2014 by Rachel Bertsche Levine

All rights reserved.

Published in the United States by Ballantine Books, an imprint of Random House, a division of Random House LLC, a Penguin Random House Company, New York.

B ALLANTINE and the H OUSE colophon are registered trademarks of Random House LLC.

ISBN 978-0-345-54322-6
eBook ISBN 978-0-345-54323-3

www.ballantinebooks.com

Cover design: Misa Erder

v3.1

Ill always remember the episode of Friends when Jennifer Aniston went from cute-enough girl next door to oh-my-God-I-want-her-body hot. The very scene, in fact.

I barely remember my first kiss. I have no memory of receiving my first paycheck. But Jennifer Anistons sculpted arms? They seared themselves into my brain.

It was the season after the London wedding that wasnt, when Rachel realized she still loved Ross. During the episode in question (The One with All the Kissing), Rachel put Monica in charge of all her decisions. In this particular scene, the friends were in the hallway, fighting over whether Rachel should admit her feelings to Ross. She was wearing a strapless, pale yellow dress with embroidered flowers. It wrapped around her like a sausage casing, barely leaving room to breathe. Jennifers was a body that the treadmill and Zone Diet built. It said: Ive overhauled my body and I look damn good. I worked for these toned arms, this ripped back, these hot legs, and Im going to flaunt them.

Every time I see that scene (fairly often, thanks to constant reruns) my gaze shifts to my own arms. Why cant you be more like hers?

Yes, I speak to my biceps.

Perhaps I sound more like the men who worship at the Aniston altar, the ones who voted her Sexiest Woman of All Time in Mens Health and named her GQs inaugural Woman of the Year, than a straight female who considers Taylor Kitsch circa Friday Night Lights the pinnacle of sexy. But as women, we seem to check out our own kind more than men do. Were constantly, and certainly to our detriment, comparing ourselves to the bodies in magazines or on TV, at the gym, even in the office.

And if theres anyone we compare ourselves to most, its Ms. Aniston. According to the 2012 Hollywoods Hottest Looks survey, an annual poll conducted by two L.A. plastic surgeons, Jennifers body is Americas most coveted. A 2011 Fitness magazine poll found the same thing34 percent of respondents said Jens was the body they most wanted for themselves. In her twenty years in the spotlight, Jennifer has gone from 25-year-old cute and lovable Friend to 45-year-old sex symbol. She was a bit rounder when she first appeared on-screen, her hair slightly less shiny; but over the next decade, she went from TV newbie to capital S mega-Starthe namesake of a haircut (sure, it was named for her character, but those layers framed Jennifers face), the wife of Brad Pitt (and then, of course, not anymore), and the magazine cover girl guaranteed to fly off the shelves.

This before-our-very-eyes evolution made Jennifer the pinnacle of Everywomans affections. Her glow, that aura of The Life, feelsalmostfor just a split second, attainable. Because we know she was once a tad more regular, and she feels like an old friend, and we watched her become who she is today. In that one yellow-embroidered-dress moment, she went from regular to luminary, and Americas obsession kicked in.

If she could do it, maybe we could, too.

I saw Jen once. It was 2006, and she was arriving for an appearance on The Late Show. I worked in New York City at the time, across the street from David Lettermans studio. My coworkers used to run downstairs to stand on 53rd Street and watch celebrities arrive. We wouldnt go for just anyone, of course. We were New Yorkers, thankyouverymuch, not touriststoo good, we thought, to stand outside for a mere Kirsten Dunst or Toby Maguire. My friend once stayed late to see Tom Cruise pull up. Not me. I waited along the security gate for one person and one person only. Jennifer. She wore a black button-down shirt and black mini-shorts and heels. She had some serious legs, a fact that didnt go unnoticed by me or by Dave. Before he even said hello on that nights episode, he told her: You have tremendous legs. Fantastic legs.

In the decade since Friends went off the air, Jennifers status has only gotten greater. When Aniston transitioned to Movie Star, those TV eyeballs came with her, writes journalist Mickey Rapkin in a 2011 Elle profile. Her body, a potent advertisement for the dual cocktail of Pilates and hard-earned confidence, quickly became the ideal for American women everywhere.

And if she isnt your ideal, some other celebrity probably is. Last week I heard a woman tell a friend that she fired her trainer because he was making her lift too many weights. I said I wanted to be Eva Longoria, she said. Does Eva Longoria have bulky arms?

We want Evas arms. Jennifers legs. The Affleck-Garner marriage. Sarah Jessicas style. And itd be great if we could cook and master cleanse like Gwyneth, herd our six (six!) kids through the airport like Angelina, and keep a stellar career afloat like, well, all of them.