Michele Weldon - I closed my eyes: revelations of a battered woman
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1999 by Michele Weldon All rights reserved. Published 1999 Printed in the United States of America No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Weldon, Michele, 1958 I closed my eyes : revelations of a battered woman / Michele Weldon. p. cm. ISBN 1-56838-341-X I. Weldon, Michele, 1958- . 2. Abused wivesUnited States Biography. 3. Wife abuseUnited States Case studies. I. Title. HV6626.2.W48 1999 362.82'92'092dc21 [B] 99-34356 CIP 03 02 01 00 99 6 5 4 3 2
Cover design by Mary Brucken Cover illustration by Stefano Vitale Interior design by Nora Koch/Gravel Pit Publications Typesetting by Nora Koch/Gravel Pit Publications
Page v
For my mother, who urged me to write it all down, and my father, who taught me to live life with an open heart. And of course, for my magnificent boys, Weldon, Brendan, and Colin, who teach me that love can be pure and forever.
Page vii
CONTENTS
Preface
ix
Acknowledgments
xix
Part One: Getting There
Chapter 1: I Closed My Eyes
5
Chapter 2: The Perfect Husband
19
Chapter 3: Fiesta Forever
27
Chapter 4: What Did You Do to Make Him Mad?
39
Chapter 5: Ice-Cream Sodas on the Hood
51
Chapter 6: Masquerade
63
Chapter 7: The Suitcase under the Bed
73
Chapter 8: Pawnshops, Discover Card, and His Checking Account
85
Chapter 9: The Power to Change Him
97
Part Two: Getting Out
Chapter 10: We Are Family
111
Chapter 11: It Was Crowded
127
Chapter 12: $18,000 and the 1987 Porsche
137
Chapter 13: A Safe Place
153
Chapter 14: Daddy Envy
165
Chapter 15: Sixty-Five Tears per Hour
179
Part Three: Getting Better
Chapter 16: Gathering Strength
191
Chapter 17: Letting Go of Fear
203
Chapter 18: What Do You Know to Be True?
215
Chapter 19: Double Parent
223
Chapter 20: The Color Apricot
235
Chapter 21: Packing for the Afterlife
243
Chapter 22: Thanksgiving
251
Afterword
261
About the Author
262
Page ix
PREFACE
"Will you ever forgive me?"
His voice was familiar, plaintive, beckoning in its mock sincerity. But now I was keen and unwilling to erase all that had come before. I knew this voice too well, the somber, innocent voice, the one that always comes after, the one that sometimes comes right before. I've heard it hundreds of times. And what he has done is not okay.
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