Botham - Beefys cricket tales: my favourite stories from on and off the field

First published in Great Britain by Simon & Schuster UK Ltd, 2013
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Copyright 2013 by Newschoice LLP

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ISBN: 978-1-84983-800-9
Ebook ISBN: 978-1-84983-802-3

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R emembering and committing to paper a collection of cricket stories for a book like this has been a long-held ambition of mine, because the game simply has so many tales to tell.

These are the stories that are told up and down the land in bars after matches and in after-dinner speeches, and are the memories that we as pros hold on to. And when your career is finally over, that is what you have left the memories.

The statistics on a piece of paper and the medals in your trophy cabinet are great things to treasure, but they are there to remind you of what happened and what you achieved. This book is an attempt in some small way to record some of the memories that came out of being in a cricket dressing room and the fun you had. Often the moments that bring back the widest grin are not the fours or sixes that youve hit but the pranks and jokes that occur off the field, and youll get to read all about them in this book.

My first and biggest thank-you has to go to all the players, past and present, who have agreed to share their stories first hand within these pages. There are plenty of anecdotes that can never be told, and each player knows only too well what must stay behind closed doors, but in each of these instances they have been as forthcoming as possible to give you a real feel for what goes on in a cricket dressing room.

I think some have quite enjoyed the chance to tell the odd story about me, too, even though I dont always come out looking the best. But thats okay, since youve got to be able to take it as well as give it, and I certainly gave it plenty during my playing days!

These guys are the ones who have made this collection of anecdotes possible and for that I am very grateful. I owe them all a huge debt of thanks for relaying their tales to my ghostwriter Dean Wilson, who has put them together in a sensible and coherent way.

Deano has worked with me for over seven years now and I couldnt have wished for a better ghost to help me put my words into print. He has been able to work seamlessly with the other players while squeezing what he could out of my fading memory banks.

His company throughout this process, along with a well-chosen bottle of wine, has made it a labour of love and I thank him heartily for that.

Of course I must thank my supportive family, especially my wife Kath, who will have seen and heard a fair few of these stories herself over the years but still indulges my retelling of them with a smile and maybe a roll of the eyes.

Thanks also to the team at Simon and Schuster, especially Ian Marshall and Rhea Halford, who helped bring this project to life and guided it through from idea to finished book. It has all been appreciated.

Now to go and have some more fun!

W ith well over 40 years in the game behind me, Ive been involved with, seen and heard of everything that can go on within the four walls of a dressing room. Sometimes it hasnt been pretty, but on the vast majority of occasions it has been interesting, funny, or both.

Dressing rooms can be unusual places for the uninitiated, largely because they resemble a group of men who have failed to grow up properly. The humour is childish, the banter is puerile, the jokes largely born out of a playground mentality where kids tend to hunt in packs.

Yet almost every person who has lived some of their life in a cricket dressing room has got one thing in common. They can do things on a cricket field that the rest of the Great British Public can only dream of, and that is why they are loved. They are capable of great feats of endurance and skill, incredible concentration, determination and power all under immense pressure. Perhaps that is why we like to unwind with fun and frolics, usually accompanied with a glass or two of our favourite tipple.

In this book you will read about some of those antics, and between me and my fellow pros weve tried to give you a flavour of just what it is like to be a professional cricketer.

There are tales from yesteryear from the likes of David Lloyd, Bob Willis and of course yours truly, but we come right up to the present with current England stars like Matt Prior and Steven Finn revealing what they get up to on and off the field these days too.

Before each story kindly retold within these pages Ive offered one or two thoughts about the men retelling them. Some of them Ive shared a dressing room with and others Ive commentated on, but one thing binds them all together and that is their love of the game.

What shines through is that no matter how much the game changes and, lets face it, the cricket being played in T20 matches now bears little resemblance to a Test match in the 1970s the behaviour of cricketers has largely remained the same. The practical jokes that made us laugh 30 years ago still work a treat now, although perhaps the number of late nights has come down a notch or two.

What is also apparent is that no matter where you played your cricket, be it England, Australia or India, the dressing room retains its unwritten rules of behaviour. The characters that brought the dressing room to life an age away are still there causing mayhem and laughter, and the truth is the game needs these types of players to keep hold of the sports rich tapestry. It is something I hope never changes.

Ive had such a good time playing and being involved in the game that my only hope is that players starting out today can still get just as much fun and satisfaction from it as I did. This is a book to celebrate those moments of brilliance on the field and the fun that goes with it off the field, and when all is said and done, cricket remains the greatest game of them all. I hope you enjoy it.

Beefy

In no other sport is the captain as important as he is in cricket and in that regard England have been blessed to have had some of the greatest minds in charge of the national team over the years. Right up there in a list of the great skippers must surely come Michael Atherton, not because he won more matches than anyone else or was the best tactician the game had ever seen, but because during a period of incredible instability for the team, and a run of some dreadful results, he stood firm and refused to be cowed or broken, leading his team by high-quality example. The 1990s were as tough as it got for English cricket and especially if you were a batsman facing up to the likes of Ambrose and Walsh, Donald and Pollock or Wasim and Waqar. Athers stood up to them all, tried his hardest to bring success to his side and on occasion did just that. Since hes retired as a player, hes become one of the most respected and thought-provoking pundits on the game and a fine journalist to boot. Still, all those brains cant stop him making some ridiculous comments in the Sky commentary box and at least Im there to put him right!