Bourdain Ruth - Comfort me with offal: Ruth Bourdains guide to gastronomy

It goes without saying that I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to two phenomenal characters in the world of food: Ruth Reichl and Anthony Bourdain. Never before have two fictional people felt so real, and they have both been so inspirational to me and to the writing of this important book. Whoever the secret masterminds are who are pulling their strings, I am deeply grateful.

I must acknowledge the enormous support of the many chefs and writers who through their encouragement, thoughtful insights, and occasional deep-tissue massages helped make this book possible. Mario Batali, in particular, deserves enormous praise for keeping my refrigerator stocked with cured meats throughout the writing process. I want to also thank Tom Colicchio, who kept me supplied with tangerine zest, read many of my earliest drafts, and kept my nails buffed to a wonderful shine using his beautiful bald head. Without Eric Riperts support, his custom-made squid-ink hair dye, and his daily deliveries of uni, which kept me physically sustained for hours at my writing desk, this book would never have come to fruition. I am thankful for Tuscan butcher Dario Cecchini, whose gift of a steak-bone back scratcher was indispensable after an unfortunate foraging incident in Chianti involving poison ivy. I am so very grateful for Rick Bayless, who contributed his yoga techniques to this book and has been a wonderful friend, even if his breath smells like epazote. Writer Michael Ruhlman deserves my thanks for believing in me, proofreading my final drafts, and showing me the pleasures of roasting a chicken. I also want to thank former New York Times restaurant critic Sam Sifton for sharing his personal list of food synonyms with me (hes a toothsome guy, that one). Speaking of chicken, I must extend my thanks to Jonathan Waxman, that master of poultry, who always spatchcocked when I needed it most. Where would I be without Thomas Keller, who butter-poached me into a relaxed state of mind when the stress of finishing this book was too great? Finally, I am thankful for my deep and abiding friendship with Jeremiah Tower, and especially for being my partner in crime as we toilet-papered Alice Waterss house one summer night in Berkeley when she annoyed the shit out of me.

It should be noted that there are also a number of people I am not grateful for whatsoever: Guy Fieri, Paula Deen, Rocco DiSpirito, Sandra Lee, Rachael Ray, and Gwyneth Paltrow.

I would, of course, like to thank everyone at Andrews McMeel, and in particular my editor, Dorothy OBrien, for helping birth this baby. Few publishers would have the time, stamina, and emotional strength to encourage a home birth, but when I asked to give birth to this book at home in a tub filled with absinthe and foie gras, not only was Andrews McMeel totally encouraging, but they even footed the bill! I am also grateful to Jean Sagendorph, of the Mansion Street Literary Agency, for being my strongest advocate and doing whatever it takesexcept for eating tortoise balls; she wouldnt do thatto make this lifelong project a reality.

Are you a foodie? Take this simple questionnaire to find your gastronomical quotient (GQ) , which measures your culinary knowledge, gastronomical prowess, and gustatory morality.

Choose one answer for each question and tabulate your final score according to the . With any luck, youll discover your GQ is downright Kellerian. My condolences if you discover you are Velveetan.

Multiple Choice

1) You are home alone on a Saturday night and hungry. You whip up:

a. Box of macaroni and cheese

b. Heat-and-serve chicken nuggets

c. Pan-roasted duck breasts, fingerling potatoes, and baby root vegetables

d. Instant ramen

e. Bowl of cereal

2) You are on a desert island with a subscription to one major food magazine. Which is it?

a. Saveur

b. Food Network Magazine

c. Vegetarian Times

d. Every Day with Rachael Ray

e. Cooking Light

3)Every Christmas, you cross your fingers and hope youll receive:

a.A sous-vide machine

b.McDonalds gift certificates

c.Omaha steaks

d.A George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine

e.A nonstick skillet

4) Your preferred coffee drink is:

a.Espresso

b.Pumpkin spiceflavored coffee

c.Frappuccino

d.Sanka

e.Decaf latte

5) You would most likely buy a cookbook from which of the following celebrity chefs?

a.Thomas Keller

b.Paula Deen

c.Emeril Lagasse

d.Tyler Florence

e.Sandra Lee

6) You are traveling by interstate highway and must stop for a quick meal. Rank the following five chains in order of preference from best option to worst option: McDonalds, Chick-Fil-A, Roy Rogers, Chipotle, In-N-Out. Which of the following most closely matches your own rank order?

a.Roy Rogers, McDonalds, Chick-Fil-A, In-N-Out, Chipotle

b.In-N-Out, Chick-Fil-A, Chipotle, McDonalds, Roy Rogers

c.Chick-Fil-A, McDonalds, Roy Rogers, In-N-Out, Chipotle

d.Chipotle, McDonalds, Chick-Fil-A, Roy Rogers, In-N-Out

e.McDonalds, Chipotle, Roy Rogers, Chick-Fil-A, In-N-Out

7) You or your spouse has just given birth to your first child, a boy. You name him:

a.Ferran

b.Emeril

c.Rocco

d.Guy

e.Chef Boyardee

8)Your most trusted kitchen tool is a:

a.Garlic press

b.Food processor

c.Chefs knife

d.Slap Chop

e.Microwave oven

9)Your favorite TV chef is:

a.Rachael Ray

b.The Swedish Chef

c.Tom Colicchio

d.Paula Deen

e.Giada De Laurentiis

10) At a dinner party you are hosting, one of your guests tells you that your Italian cooking is almost as good as the Olive Garden. Which of the following would be an appropriate way of responding?

a.Cry and stab yourself with perciatelli.

b.Call her a douchebaguette.

c.Feign ignorance: Is that a new restaurant?
I havent been.

d.Defriend her on Facebook.

e.All of the above.

11) Your favorite food shop is:

a.Safeway

b.Whole Foods

c.Eataly

d.Trader Joes

e.Target Greatland

12) You tend to avoid restaurants that specialize in:

a.Seasonal menus

b.Wines served by the quartino

c.Deep-fried blooming onions

d.Yakitori

e.Heritage meats

13) Which of the following items are you unlikely to find in your refrigerator?

a.Sriracha

b.American cheese slices

c.Salt-packed anchovies

d.Fish sauce

e.Shallots

14) Your favorite food movie is:

a. Eat, Pray, Love

b. Tampopo

c. Mystic Pizza

d. Chocolat

e. American Pie

15) Food you claim to enjoy but secretly despise:

a.Bacon

b.Steak

c.Pork belly

d.Okra

e.Cheese

16)Food you claim to despise but secretly enjoy:

a.Pop-Tarts

b.Sweetbreads

c.Venison

d.Pasta

e.Veggie burgers

17)You are committed to organic, local, seasonal, and sustainable cuisine, except when dining in ____________ restaurants.

a.Chinese

b.Mexican

c.Vietnamese

d.Korean

e.All of the above

18) When it comes to appliances, you prefer a(n) __________ range, and a(n) ____________ oven.

a.gas; gas

b.gas; electric

c.electric; gas

d.electric; electric

19) Whats the most important quality you look for when purchasing chicken?

a. USDA ORGANIC LABEL

b.Free range

c.Vegetarian diet

d.Inner beauty

e.Big breasts

20) You are a member of:

a.Costco

b.Sams Club

c.Slow Food

d.PETA

e.TGI Fridays Frequent Diner Club

21) When shopping for steak, which cut are you most likely to choose?