Levin - Look big: and other tips for surviving animal encounters of all kinds

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

Wait, what are we supposed to do again if we run into a bear? I asked my friend Mandi Bateman one day in the woods. What about a mountain lion? I dont know she replied, but that would make a good book! Thank you, Mandi. Now we know.

Thank you to my work/hotel wife, Bonnie Tsui, who one tipsy eve, wandering wine country, convinced me to write up a proposal. Thank you to smart and savvy Danielle Svetcov, who has been a supporter from the start and at every step of the way. Thank you to the entire Ten Speed Press team, especially Emma Campion, Ashley Lima, Ashley Pierce, Windy Dorresteyn, Daniel Wikey, Heather Porter, and Dan Myers for their talents and for making a first-time author feel welcome at her first meeting. And to my editor, Julie Bennett, for her enthusiasm, insightful comments, and commitment to making my vision for Look Big better.

Thank you to the dozens of generous experts I interviewed, quoted and not. Thank you to the San Francisco Writers Grotto, specifically Caroline Paul (for both asking the best questions and knowing all the answers) and Rodes Fishburne (for routinely checking in with a What animal are you on? You kept me going when I was only on crows). Thank you to Jasmine Wade for checking the facts.

Thank you, contributors, for so willingly and brilliantly sharing your tales. Thank you to the very rigorous Guerneville/Inverness Writers Retreats, to the Anchovy Club for little fishes and lots of book knowledge, and to George McCalman and Greg Clarke, whose early input was invaluable. Thank you to my bestest friends on both coasts, including one in Namibia who suggested we take a cheetah walk (no thank you).

Thanks to Skarli Pena for everything. To Ida Richter for reading. To Cousin Dave and Ricki for eating. And to Mike Herzlinger for carrying the bear spray. Thank you to my sister, Julie Levin Herzlinger, who understands the perils of an otherwise peaceful walk in Bhutan. Thank you, always, to my father, Danny, who fears nothing but cruise ships, and to my mother, Margie, whose cat phobia probably somehow started all of this.

Thank you, Hazel, my little coauthor, and Oren, my little lover of all creaturesmay you always be. Im sorry for so many ants in your cereal. And, finally, thank you to Josh, who can spot a moose in the dark from a mile away, and whose love, support, and wise edits mean the world.

RACHEL LEVIN is the first San Francisco restaurant critic for Eater and a freelance journalist who has written for the New Yorker , the New York Times , Lucky Peach , Outside , Sunset , and more. A member of the San Francisco Writers Grotto, she has appeared on NPRs Marketplace , KQEDs Forum , and on stage at Pop-Up Magazine . Learn more at byrachellevin.com.

ANIMALS FROM MOST TO LEAST DEADLY

This is the approximate number of people killed in the United States per animal, per year. Take heed, its not bears, sharks, and gators at the top of the list. (Just deer, dogs, and bees?) Still, the good news: Of all human deaths each year, animals cause only about 0.008 percent. (Note to self and readers: Love animals. Dont fear them.)

DEER:

BEES, WASPS, AND HORNETS:

DOGS: TO

COWS: ABOUT

HORSES:

SNAKES:

BEARS:

SHARKS: s

ALLIGATORS: FEWER THAN

MOUNTAIN LIONS: FEWER THAN

COYOTES: FEWER THAN

BLACK WIDOWS: FEWER THAN

ALLIGATORS

/ Also known as: Gators.

FOUND Lurking in lakes, rivers, swamps, golf course ponds throughout the southeastern United States, anddont forgetDisney World. Lost pet alligators are occasionally spotted on New York City streets, too.

SIZE As long as a balance beam; as heavy as a grand piano.

SOUNDS A growly hiss, or a slow, deep burp, like a car having startup trouble.

Every body of freshwater in Florida has alligators in it, says Ken Rice, director of the U.S. Geological Survey, Wetland and Aquatic Research Center in Gainesville. You just dont always see them.

But a gator prowls, eyes peeking above the surface, ginormous jaw poised for whatever crosses its path: fish, frogs, turtles, each other, a deer if its lucky. Its very rare for an alligator to bother a human being. But it happens. Theyll eat anything they come in contact with, says Rice. Anything. And anyone.

So, when in alligator-land, avoid swimming, even wading, especially at dawn or dusk; no dangling your legs off a boat, no making noise; and never, ever feed an alligator. As Rice puts it, Best to just stay out of the waterand out of their way.

If for some insane reason you dont.

WHAT TO DO

Runzigzag, straight line, doesnt matter. Alligators might be the only predators in the world youd have a shot at beating in a race. Though they rarely pursue on land, around water, stay alert. Alligators ambush. They latch on to prey, roll it underwater until drowned and dead, then toss it back like a tequila shot. Which means that adult humans arent easy eating.

Put up a decent fight, and the alligator might decide to ditch you. They prefer not to contend with violently struggling prey, says Allan Woodward of Floridas Fish and Wildlife Research Institute. Scream. Splash. Kick. Sure, try and punch the snout or gouge out the eyes, says Woodward. No guarantees, but it has worked before.

BY THE NUMBERS

1.3 million: Number of alligators in Florida.

380: Unprovoked attacks on people since 1948.

24: People killed by alligators since 1973.

$100: Cost to wrestle a live alligator at Gators Reptile Park in Colorado.

ANTS

/ Also known as: Carpenter ants, black ants, Argentine ants, pharaohs, and, of course, queens.

FOUND Everywhere but Antarctica, and especially in your house, when its raining outside.

SIZE Like aspirin, tiny but mighty.

Lays once came up with a clever slogan for its potato chips: Bet you cant eat just one! It was a good slogan because its true. Who eats just one potato chip? Similarly, ants: you never see just one, especially if you leave crumbs of potato chips lying around.

Ants weasel their way in through cracks and take over, marching through your house like they own the placewhich, until you get rid of them, they pretty much do.

Bottles of honey, boxes of cereal, bathtubs, countertops, laptops!nothing is sacred. Two ants were once discovered in the bristles of a Superman toothbrush, after brushing. Even Superman is powerless in the face of ants.

WHAT TO DO

There are lots of home remedies. Most tend to involve lemon juice or white vinegar or little tubs of Tabasco sauce. No one has ever studied what really works, says Brian Fisher, entomologist at California Academy of Sciences. Until now.

Last year, his team launched a citizen science project, urging people with ant-infested homes everywhere to try DIY solutions and send in their results. Theres no winner yet, but so far the strongest contenders seem to be lemon and cinnamon. Why? Fisher and his team are still figuring that out. But the rest of those cockamamy concoctions? Probably bogus, he predicts.

Calling an exterminator can be helpful, except for the cost and chemicals. The best plan of attack is to caulk ants entryways, says Fisher. Use Vaseline if you have to.

And if nothing else works, according to the 5,000 impassioned posts on Amazon, TERRO Liquid Ant Baits (the superstar of ant traps) willuntil next season.

DISCONCERTING THOUGHT

For every ant or two you spot on your counter, says Fisher, theres an infinite amount nesting in your walls.