Lorey Dean - Fitness confidential: adventures in the weight-loss game

Special Smashwords Edition

FITNESSCONFIDENTIAL

By

Vinnie Tortorich

&

Dean Lorey

Although this book isnon-fiction, certain names have been changed.

FITNESSCONFIDENTIAL

Special SmashwordsEdition

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Copyright 2013 VinnieTortorich & Dean Lorey . All rightsreserved, including the right to reproduce this book, or portionsthereof, in any form. No part of this text may be reproduced,transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or storedin or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system,in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanicalwithout the express written permission of the author. The scanning,uploading, and distribution of this book via the Internet or viaany other means without the permission of the publisher is illegaland punishable by law. Please purchase only authorized electroniceditions and do not participate in or encourage electronic piracyof copyrighted materials.

The publisher does not haveany control over and does not assume any responsibility for authoror third-party websites or their content.

Cover designed by PatrickBradley

Cover photo:

Copyright DavidZaugh

Interior photos takenby:

Weight Room by CyTortorich

Shirtless, white shorts byMichael Tortorich

Serena and Dean by VinnieTortorich

Group shot by MarieTortorich

Vinnie on bike, Rainbow,Vinnie with milkshake, Vinnie on long desert road, Vinnie shirtlessby Serena Scott Thomas

Hug by ChrisKostman

Published by TelemachusPress, LLC at Smashwords

http://www.smashwords.com

http://www.telemachuspress.com

Visit the authorswebsites:

http://www.vinnietortorich.com

http://www.deanlorey.com

ISBN: 978-1-939337-91-7(eBook)

ISBN: 978-1-939337-92-4(Paperback)

Version2013.06.20

FITNESSCONFIDENTIAL

Chapter One

IM YOUR TRAINER

We understand youre the go-to guy fortaking weight off people.

I was sitting in a conference room, staringat a rogues gallery of Hollywood types. There was a top showrunnerpreparing a new sitcom, the managers of the shows star, plus anexec from Disney along with the usual group of faceless nobodieswho seem to be in every meeting in Tinseltown filling up space.

I wasnt exactly sure how to respond. It wasthe early nineties. Id only been in L.A. a couple of years and mypersonal training career was just starting to gain traction.

Yeah, Im the guy, Isaid, wondering how they even got my name.

They glanced at each other nervously. It wasclear they had a problem, or at least they thought they did, andsomehow I was supposed to solve it.

Can you take thirty-fivepounds off someone? the manager asked.

That depends, I replied.Does this person have thirty-five pounds to lose?

Again, they glanced at each other. Finally,the network exec spoke. We think so.

Then, yeah, I said.Sure.

There was a visible sigh of relief. Theshowrunner leaned toward me. Can you do it in six weeks?

More than five pounds a week. Thats a tallorder. Not to mention unhealthy, which is what I told them.

The manager stared at me, then wrotesomething on a slip of paper. He slid it over to me.

It said: $10,000.

I stared at it for a minute. Ive never beena money guy, but Im not crazy.

Yeah, no problem, Isaid. I figured I could help whoever this was take at least twenty,twenty-five pounds off in a healthy way and everyone would besatisfied. Which raised a larger question.

Exactly who are wetalking about here? I asked. The whole thing was so shrouded insecrecy I was wondering if they were bringing in the First Lady todo a sitcom.

The network executive narrowed his eyes.You know who Lucille Ball is?

Yeah, I replied. Butits gonna be hard to train a dead person.

Were creating the newLucille Ball. Shes going to star in a sitcom for us. He said hername. Youd recognize it. Shes talented, but she failed herscreen test. The issue is the weight. Your job is to make thatissue go away.

It was like beingin The Godfather, except I was the only Italian in the room.

No problem, I said.Ill get to work.

Believe it or not, this was a typical dayfor me. I never knew what to expect when I went to work in themorning. One time I got a phone call from a Beverly Hills housewifewho told me she needed my help to get into shape. I showed up tofind her in a silk robe. She stripped it off to reveal asmoking-hot body.

I want you to make thisbetter, she said. I want a body like a porn star.

I didnt have the heart to tell her she wasalready there. Whos going to deny a woman willing to strip nakedon the first workout?

Then there was the male film star who hiredme, paid me three times to show up, then fired me without evermeeting me. His reasoning? He wasnt feeling my vibe. I told himhe might be able to feel it better if we were ever actually in thesame room.

One of the best momentswas the first time I heard my name mentioned on The Tonight Show . That was when Ifelt Id arrived.

Ive been a Beverly Hills personal trainerfor over twenty-two years and Ive seen it all. Along the way, Ivehelped hundreds of people get into shape. CEOs, celebrities,athletesyou name it. Whenever I meet people, the first thing theyusually tell me is what went into their mouth and came out theirass. Theyre looking for my blessing or forgiveness, like Im apriest of fat. The truth is, I like hearing about itbut Im theonly one. You want to know who doesnt care what diet youreon?

Everyoneelse .

But I care.

And Ive been caring a long time. In thepast quarter century, Ive learned all the dirt there is about thefitness gameand even created some of it. I know where the bodiesare buried. And Im going to show them to you.

I'm going to expose the nasty little trickshealth clubs play to get you to sign up. These guys make used carsalesmen look like they belong in a nunnery. Note to nuns: Imcoming after you, too. But dont worry, not only will I show youhow to get the best deal, Ill show you how to use the place toyour advantage once youre in.

I'm going to tell you how you can figure outwhich personal trainers are great and which ones suck. I have adegree in fitness from Tulane University along with thepre-requisite muscles and bright teeth. Most of the other trainersonly have two of those three.

Im going to tell you which so-calledfitness products are worth your cash and which ones arent worththe box they came in.

Im looking at you, Thighmaster.

Ill tell you everything. And, along theway, Im going to piss a lot of people off. They dont call meAmericas Angriest Trainer for nothing.

Over the years, Ive noticed that mostpeople dont take my career seriously. A doctor once called me afringe player because he couldnt understand what I was doingwith my life.

Youre way too smart tobe a trainer, he told me.

Youd be surprised how much I get thatattitude.

When I was a kid, the job didnt even exist.All my friends wanted to drive a fire truck when they grew up, butI never heard any of them say, Hey, I think I want to be atrainer.

I guess I understand that. My life isntexactly what youd call normal. If theres a white picket fencearound, Ive never walked through it.

I dont draw a weekly paycheck. In fact, thework is all freelance. I only get paid when I show up at a clientsdoor and they hand me a check.