Mitchinson John - If ignorance is bliss, why arent there more happy people?: smart quotes for dumb times

B EFORE YOU SETTLE DOWN, WE HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE .

W E LOVE quotations. Not like, admire, or retain a residual fondness for. We love them with a deep, never-to-be-fully-sated passionthe passion of men who spend too long cooped up indoors, burrowing through books and staring at screens. Quotations are our catnip. The more we have, the more we want. Theres an old craftsmans saw: If the other fellow can do it better, let him.

Thats how we feel about quotations. They are the best bits of the best minds, the records of the funniest, truest, wisest, and most memorable things anyone has ever said. A good quotation is a keyhole view of a boundless universe, like one of those windows called squints in medieval cathedrals through which only the altar is visible. Using quotations isnt a mark of cowardice, inarticulacy, or false modesty. Its a demonstration of what sets us humans apart: our ability to learn from one another, to share, to talk, and to remember. As youll discover, there are people who exist only on the pages of quotation books, whose life and work has evaporated completely, leaving behind just one or two tiny puddles of wisdom.

Indeed, the strange and magical process by which we all seem to find the same things interesting also works for quotations. As Elias Canetti put it: The great writers of aphorisms read as if they had all known each other well. So, dont be expecting a reference book. It might look like one, but its really a manifesto. It could have been ten times longer but we have forced ourselves to keep only the ones we couldnt live without, and thenpainfullyto put them in some kind of order. Whether its punch-the-air exactness of thought (Erotica is using a feather, pornography is using the whole chicken, Isabel Allende), subversive humor (Everywhere I go Im asked if I think the university stifles writers.

My opinion is that they dont stifle enough of them, Flannery OConnor) or unexpected, disarming honesty (I love those decadent wenches who do so trouble my dreams, Rembrandt), every quote has fought to justify its inclusion here. As for how you use it, all well say is that you cant have a conversation on your own. Banter is not a solitary activity. And quotations are the hard currency of banter. Whether you hoard them like shiny sovereigns in your pocket, or rub them like rabbits feet in times of need, they are yours to do with what you will. Time to let you judge for yourself.

In the immortal words of Spike Milligan, We cant stand around here doing nothing, people will think we are workmen. Quotations will tell the full measure of meaning
if you have enough of them.
JAMES MURRAY
Editor of the Oxford English Dictionary 18791915

Man is a make-believe animalhe is never so truly himself as when he is acting a part. WILLIAM HAZLITT The question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again, night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, dont we all anyway; might as well get paid for it. RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN Sherry (as Byron called him) was at least as famous an orator as a playwright. The poet would later recall how he talked and we listened, without one yawn, from six till one in the morning. Acting is not about dressing up.

Acting is about stripping bare. The whole essence of learning lines is to forget them so you can make them sound like you thought of them that instant. GLENDA JACKSON It is not whether you really cry. Its whether the audience thinks you are crying. INGRID BERGMAN I made some mistakes in drama. I thought the drama was when the actors cried.

But drama is when the audience cries. FRANK CAPRA When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didnt know how to play them when I was drunk. RICHARD BURTON If you want to be an actor, my advice is to learn your lines and dont bump into the other actors. CARY GRANT I only have two acting styles: with and without a horse. ROBERT MITCHUM The part never calls for nudity, and Ive never used that excuse. HELEN MIRREN I dont mind that Im fat. HELEN MIRREN I dont mind that Im fat.

You still get the same money. MARLON BRANDO

If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves. THOMAS EDISON The truth of the matter is, we always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it. NORMAN SCHWARZKOPF The great end of life is not knowledge but action. H. H.

HUXLEY Never retreat. Never explain. Get it done and let them howl.