Lloyd John - If ignorance is bliss, why aren’t there more happy people? : smart quotes for dumb times

A LSO BY J OHN L LOYD AND J OHN M ITCHINSON The Book of General Ignorance
The Book of Animal Ignorance A LSO BY J OHN L LOYD ( WITH D OUGLAS A DAMS ) The Meaning of Liff
The Deeper Meaning of Liff In the midst of this pageant of personality, this hail of epigrams, who will hear the bang or the whimper when it comes? Who will care? QUENTIN CRISP
How to Have a Lifestyle (1975)

Man is a make-believe animalhe is never so truly himself as when he is acting a part. WILLIAM HAZLITT The question actors most often get asked is how they can bear saying the same things over and over again, night after night, but God knows the answer to that is, dont we all anyway; might as well get paid for it. RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN Sherry (as Byron called him) was at least as famous an orator as a playwright. The poet would later recall how he talked and we listened, without one yawn, from six till one in the morning. Acting is not about dressing up. Acting is about stripping bare.

The whole essence of learning lines is to forget them so you can make them sound like you thought of them that instant. GLENDA JACKSON It is not whether you really cry. Its whether the audience thinks you are crying. INGRID BERGMAN I made some mistakes in drama. I thought the drama was when the actors cried. FRANK CAPRA When I played drunks I had to remain sober because I didnt know how to play them when I was drunk. RICHARD BURTON If you want to be an actor, my advice is to learn your lines and dont bump into the other actors. CARY GRANT I only have two acting styles: with and without a horse. ROBERT MITCHUM The part never calls for nudity, and Ive never used that excuse. ROBERT MITCHUM The part never calls for nudity, and Ive never used that excuse.

The box office calls for it. HELEN MIRREN I dont mind that Im fat. You still get the same money. MARLON BRANDO

If we did all the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astonish ourselves. THOMAS EDISON The truth of the matter is, we always know the right thing to do. NORMAN SCHWARZKOPF The great end of life is not knowledge but action. T. H. H.

HUXLEY Never retreat. Never explain. Get it done and let them howl. BENJAMIN JOWETT I look for what needs to be done. After all, thats how the universe designs itself. R.

BUCKMINSTER FULLER You must do the thing you think you cannot do. ELEANOR ROOSEVELT What we think, or what we know, or what we believe is, in the end, of little consequence. The only consequence is what we do. JOHN RUSKIN My personal philosophy is not to undertake a project unless it is manifestly important and nearly impossible. EDWIN LAND Inventor of the Polaroid camera in 1947. ROBERT COPELAND Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable. SYDNEY J. SYDNEY J.

HARRIS Author of the Strictly Personal column for the Chicago Daily News. Appeared on the infamous 1971 list of Nixons enemies (along with Edwin Land, among many others). Think like a man of action; act like a man of thought. HENRI BERGSON

In every mans heart there is anchored a little schooner. HENRY MILLER The distinguishing mark of true adventures, is that it is often no fun at all while they are actually happening. G. K. K.

CHESTERTON Adventure is just bad planning. ROALD AMUNDSEN

Advertisement is the rich asking for more money. G. K. CHESTERTON Many a small thing has been made large by the right kind of advertising. WILLIAM DEAN HOWELLS The superior man understands what is right; the inferior man understands what will sell. CONFUCIUS He wrote nothing himself: like Socratess dialogues, his Analects were gathered and retold by his disciples in the centuries following his death in 479 BC. CONFUCIUS He wrote nothing himself: like Socratess dialogues, his Analects were gathered and retold by his disciples in the centuries following his death in 479 BC.

Introducing Litethe new way to spell Light, but with 20 percent fewer letters. JERRY SEINFELD The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill. PETER USTINOV Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they spend on advertising and they wouldnt have to advertise it. WILL ROGERS Doing business without advertising is like winking at a girl in the dark. You know what you are doing, but nobody else does. STEUART HENDERSON BRITT One of the few ad men who was also a professor of psychology, author of the classic defense of consumer marketing, The Spenders (1960).

Advertising has annihilated the power of the most powerful adjectives. PAUL VALRY Advertising is the rattling of a stick inside a swill bucket. GEORGE ORWELL Historians and archaeologists will discover that the advertisements of our time are the richest and most faithful reflections that any society ever made of its entire range of activities. MARSHALL McLUHAN

A word to the wise aint necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice. BILL COSBY Quit now, youll never make it. DAVID ZUCKER Giving advice to a stupid man is like giving salt to a squirrel. KASHMIRI PROVERB No one wants adviceonly corroboration. JOHN STEINBECK Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didnt. ERICA JONG Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. GORDON R. GORDON R.

DICKSON Canadian-born sci-fi writer who described his books as laboratory pieces. Before he died in 2001, he had written eighty, selling more than ten million copies. The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself. OSCAR WILDE Never believe in anything until it has been officially denied. OTTO VON BISMARCK Never play cards with a man called Doc.

Never eat in a place called Moms. Never sleep with a woman whose troubles are worse than your own. NELSON ALGREN Quoted in Newsweek in July 1956 soon after the publication of the American translation of Simone de Beauvoirs novel The Mandarins, which revealed details of their torrid affair. Never take the advice of someone who has not had your kind of trouble. SYDNEY J. ALDOUS HUXLEY Do not think of your faults, still less of others faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it. ALDOUS HUXLEY Do not think of your faults, still less of others faults; look for what is good and strong, and try to imitate it.

Your faults will drop off, like dead leaves, when their time comes. JOHN RUSKIN Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. GEORGE CARLIN Never look back unless you are planning to go that way. HENRY DAVID THOREAU Never read by candlelight anything smaller than the ace of clubs.

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