Perry - Some of us are very hungry now: essays

WHO WE ARE TWO DOLLAR RADIO is a family-run outfit dedicated to reaffirming the cultural and artistic spirit of the publishing industry. We aim to do this by presenting bold works of literary merit, each book, individually and collectively, providing a sonic progression that we believe to be too loud to ignore.

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ISBN 9781937512835

Also available as an Ebook.
E-ISBN 9781937512842

COPYRIGHT 2019 BY ANDRE PERRY

Library of Congress Control Number available upon request.

Book Club & Reader Guide of questions and topics for discussion is available at twodollarradio.com

SOME RECOMMENDED LOCATIONS FOR READING SOME OF US ARE VERY HUNGRY NOW: In the club (before the show), in a small bedroom with an 8-track player, or pretty much anywhere because books are portable and the perfect technology!

ANYTHING ELSE? Yes. Do not copy this bookwith the exception of quotes used in critical essays and reviewswithout the prior written permission from the copyright holder and publisher. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means.

WE MUST ALSO POINT OUT THAT: The stories in this book reflect the authors recollection of events. Some names, locations, and identifying characteristics have been changed to protect the privacy of those depicted. Dialogue has been re-created from memory.

Well

Here it comes

Here comes the sound

The sound of confusion

J. Spaceman & Sonic Boom, Walkin with Jesus

Some of Us Are Very Hungry Now

Coastland

Language and Other Weapons

The screen is black. The sounds of bodies rustling in leaves can be heard. They are the sounds of love.

NARRATOR (VOICE OVER)

Being black is like having a chronic disease because someone can always call you a nigger and you know they eventually will. You just dont know when its going to come at you or how its going to come. Will you get called a nigger out loud or in a more deceptive if equally devastating way? Life goes on for some time without incident and then the affliction bites you again, reminds you that its still there. These nigger momentsthe points in time when black people are forced to recall their blackness in a way that brings shame to their existenceengender self-hate over time. The hate can twist the strongest heart, reducing ones composure to a vicious growl. The black lashes out at his environment but his hateful words and angry jabs will only quicken his failure.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FIELDEVENING

WIDE SHOT: Black-and-white film. Nestled within the tall grass of a field, a YOUNG BLACK MAN and a YOUNG BLACK WOMAN make love on the ground. The camera slowly zooms in on the couple. A dress is pulled up around her waist. Their faces are filled with excitement.

NARRATOR (VOICE OVERCONTD)

Consider a character from Toni Morrisons The Bluest Eye, Cholly Breedlove. Morrison first published the novel in the United States in 1970, but it takes place in the years before and after the Great Depression. On the night Cholly loses his virginity to a beautiful country girl, Darlene, he is subjected to the humiliation of a nigger moment.

As CHOLLY and DARLENE continue to make love, the crunching of footsteps on twigs and stalks of grass can be heard. A light shines across CHOLLYs back. The girl freezes. CHOLLY senses her change in emotion and turns around. His eyes meet with the faces of two WHITE MEN. WHITE MAN 1 holds a lantern. Both men are smiling.

WHITE MAN 1

Get on wid it. An make it good, nigger. Make it good.

CHOLLYs lover turns cold. He continues the act but it is no longer love. The WHITE MEN stand there, chuckling for a minute or so and then they walk away. Their voices grow more distant until all that can be heard are the sounds of the country night.

NARRATOR (VOICE OVER)

This incident leaves Cholly scarred for life. It is a watershed moment of shame upon which others will build. Eventually, self-hate will implode the young black man. He will embrace alcoholism and begin to despise his wife and his children. Ultimately, he will rape his young daughter. It would take the space of another novel to fully understand how the incident had scarred DARLENE.

CUT TO:

A close up on CHOLLYs face. His face, a scowl. CHOLLY raises himself up from DARLENE. She is silent, frozen with pain. His hands loom menacingly as though he might strangle her.

CUT TO:

BLACK

The sounds of CHILDREN PLAYING can be heard.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. FIELDDAY

Color film. A group of fourth grade boys are playing a game of football on a black top. These are St. Albans boys, students at one of Washington, D.C.s most prestigious private schools. They wear blazers, ties, turtlenecks, and slacks. They play their game in the shadow of the National Cathedral. A tall kid steps up to the line of scrimmage with the football in his hands. His team of five receivers joins him.

Thats ME, age 10, scrawny and lanky, at the right end of the line, getting excited to run a pass route. The QB hikes the ball and the PASS RUSHER stands in front of him, READY TO STRIKE.

PASS RUSHER

One-Mississippi. Two-Mississippi.

BURNING my defender down the field I wave my hand to let the QB know I am open. Our eyes connect and he sends the ball into the air. As it comes closer to my hands something blurs. My coordination escapes me and the ball DROPS to the ground.

A TEAMMATE walks by me, angry at the missed opportunity. He HITS me on the shoulder and looks me in the eye.