Plegge - When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

WHEN TOMORROW STARTS WITHOUTME

The loss of achild

LoriPlegge

Copyright Lori Plegge 2013

Published at Smashwords

When Tomorrow Starts WithoutMe

The poem When TomorrowStarts Without Me By David Romano was the inspiration for thetitle of this book. It is a beautiful poem. Below is the poem inits entirety.

When Tomorrow Starts WithoutMe

By David Romano

When tomorrow starts withoutme,

And I'm not there tosee,

If the sun should rise and findyour eyes

All filled with tears forme;

I wish so much you wouldn'tcry

The way you did today,

While thinking of the manythings,

We didn't get to say.

I know how much you loveme,

As much as I love you,

And each time you think ofme,

I know you'll miss metoo;

But when tomorrow starts withoutme,

Please try tounderstand,

That an angel came and called myname,

And took me by the hand,

And said my place wasready,

In Heaven far above

And that I'd have to leavebehind

All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walkaway,

A tear fell from my eye

For all my life, I'd alwaysthought,

I didn't want todie.

I had so much to livefor,

So much left yet to do,

It seemed almostimpossible,

That I was leaving you.

I thought of all theyesterdays,

The good ones and thebad,

The thought of all the love weshared,

And all the fun we had.

If I could reliveyesterday

Just even for a while,

I'd say good-bye and kissyou

Any maybe see you smile.

But when I fullyrealized

That this could neverbe,

For emptiness andmemories,

Would take the place ofme.

And when I thought of worldlythings

I might miss cometomorrow,

I thought of you, and when Idid

My heart was filled withsorrow.

But when I walked throughHeaven's gates

I felt so much athome

When God looked down andsmiled at me,

From His great goldenthrone,

He said, "This iseternity,

And all I've promisedyou.

Today your life on earth ispast

But here it startsanew.

I promise notomorrow,

But today will alwayslast,

And since each day's thesame way,

There's no longing for thepast.

You have been sofaithful,

So trusting and sotrue.

Though there weretimes

You did somethings

You knew you shouldn'tdo.

But you have beenforgiven

And now at last you'refree.

So won't you come and takemy hand

And share my live withme?"

So when tomorrow startswithout me,

Don't think we're farapart,

For every time you think ofme,

I'm right here, in yourheart.

Dedication

This book isdedicated

To my threesons,

Anthony, Kevin, andBrett.

Kevin and Brett I hope youlearn

From your older brotherAnthony

Not to make the samemistakes he made in life.

Quotes

A wife who loses a husbandis called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower.A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But there is noword for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is!- Neugeboren 1976, 154.

Spend time with those youlove.

One of these days you willsay either,

I wish I had,

Or

Im glad Idid.

~~Zig Ziglar

Foreword

When Lori first told me shewas going to write this book about Anthony, Ant I call him, Ididnt know what to think. The more I thought about it, the moreexcited I became. Why not make his life into a book sopeople could understand how hard it is to lose someone, especiallya child.

I grew up in the sameneighborhood as Anthony. Because I was in a relationship withone of Anthonys best friends, it was awkward with us being soclose. But for whatever reason we became inseparable, we were bestfriends. Every morning I would wake up early, take a shower,walk up the shortcut to his house, climb through his window and layin the bed with him until his mom made him get up and get ready forschool. Then we would walk to the bus stop and get on the bustogether.

Anthony and I wereinseparable until my mother put a stop to us hanging out together.My mom thought that I was using Anthony to see his best friend,someone my mother did not want me in a relationship with, so she nolonger allowed me to be friends with Anthony. Unbeknownst to mymom, that only happened on two occasions that I recall. All theother times I was really just hanging out with Anthony, just himand me.

In 2005, I took a trip toWashington DC and while I was there my mom passed away. Ineeded someone to talk to so I called Ant. In some weird way itjust helped, I dont think he ever knew it.

The first thing that comesto mind when I think of Ant is his smile. Those who knew him wellknew that he really wasnt one to walk around with a smile on hisface all the time (unless he was up to something) which wasoften.

As this book unfolds youwill learn about Anthonys life and how his death affected many wholoved him. Anthony was a protector. I dont know many people whowould try and pick a fight with him. As mean as he appeared to be,he could be as gentle as a teddy bear.

This book explains howmaking bad choices can just take your life away. The choices wemake affect the rest of our lives, whether it be in that instance,the next week, the next two years, or ten years from now; itaffects us in some shape or form.

The one regret that Illcarry with me forever is not telling Anthony yes when he asked meto be with him. As you will soon find out, Anthony asked me to bewith him and I kindly refused. As bad as I didnt want to, itwas exactly what I wanted, I was just scared. At the time I wasdating some guy that I had no business being with. Ant offeredthe world to me with what little he had, which was nothing butdreams to go off of. Anthony went back to Florida because ofme. If I would have told him yes he never would havegone back, at least not alone, and those were his words. We mightnot have gotten married or even stayed together, but what happenedto him wouldnt have happened the way it did.

Ill never forget makingthat twelve hour drive all the way to the Leesburg hospital to seeAnthony in a coma. Ive seen my mother, father, grandmother, andseveral other close people on their death bed (in a hospital), butnone of that compares to what I felt when I saw Anthony, this hugebeast in a helpless vegetable state of mind. It ripped my heart inhalf and I was changed forever.

I am now happily marriedand couldnt have a better man whom I know Anthony would be veryproud of. I, myself, have much experience with loss, but to losesomeone who meant so much to me at such a young age is just lifealtering.

Carrie Rose

Introduction

As I stood there listeningto the slow beat of the heart monitor in the hospital, I knew mysons life was coming to an end. I will never forget the smell ofdeath in the room and I remember my mother saying to me 70 over4060 over 30 20 over flat lineflat line flat line andjust like that, at 8:50 p.m. on March 16, 2007, my sons life cameto an end. Most parents wouldve been crying or going ballistic butI just stood there running my fingers through his thick black hairtelling him everything would be alright. It was over thelongest week of my life was finally over.

My son was the third out offour of his friends to pass away at a young age ranging fromseventeen to twenty-one. Anthony hung out with a group of fivekids, if you saw one of them, you saw them all. The groupconsisted of Carrie, Shocoby, Chris, Wyatt, and Anthony. Little did we know Chris would be the first of Anthonys friends topass away, the second was JP, my Anthony was the third and thefourth was Anthony R. It was as if we parents watched our childrendie one by one.