Price - At deaths door: a picture book for grown-ups

-Woe Betide Them

In loving memory of Jack and Jim. You would have both died laughing. Acknowledgments The author would like to thank all things that go bump in the night. Disclaimer All trick-or-treaters appearing in this book were harmed during the time of writing. Knock knock... No. -12 Twelve Trick-or-Treaters On a fateful jaunt, Woe betide the victims Of their nasty little haunt. A rotten little robot By the name of Rusty Glitch Malfunctioned rather badly In a game of Ding, Dong, Ditch. The door bell was the culprit; A botch job wrongly wired, And unfortunately for Rusty, His warrantys now expired. No. -11 Eleven Trick-or-Treaters TP-ing up the burbs, Oblivious to the warning signs They continue undeterred. -11 Eleven Trick-or-Treaters TP-ing up the burbs, Oblivious to the warning signs They continue undeterred.

A musty little mummy By the name of Ackrid Sprat Was the next unlucky guiser Whose evening fell rather flat. An accident waiting to happen Put a stop to Ackrids tricks, As now theyre buried with her Under a pyramid of bricks. No. -10 Ten Trick-or-Treaters Shrugging off the fear, Theyre being picked off one by one But still they persevere. A crooked little critter By the name of Heskith Dregs Was decorating cabin 10 With a dozen rotten eggs. He failed to hear the patter of a thousand tiny feet.

There really wasnt anything they didnt like to eat. No. - 9 Nine Trick-or-Treaters Making quite a din, Teasing the local junkyard dog, Its temperament wearing thin. A scrawny little skeleton By the name of Crocus Munge Was the next annoying trickster To be savagely expunged. Dragged right through the pet flap Her chances were pretty slim. No. - 8 Eight Trick-or-Treaters Creeping through the farm. - 8 Eight Trick-or-Treaters Creeping through the farm.

They tried to steal some apples But theyve triggered the alarm. An obnoxious little oculus By the name of Orville Snide, Was safe in his secret hiding place... Until he went and cried. Trapped with reeking onions Its as bad as Orville fears, For now its him whos bobbing As he drowns in his own tears. No. A cranky little circus clown By the name of Frisby Dent Mistook the drapes at No.7 For a traveling circus tent. Engulfed in the fumigation A hideous thing occurred, She spewed her own intestines, And now the jokes on her. No. -6 Six Trick-or-Treaters With an explosive box of tricks. -6 Six Trick-or-Treaters With an explosive box of tricks.

Fire crackers and cherry bombs Is how they get their kicks. A twisted little tiki By the name of Jonty Zoph May have still been with us If he hadnt been showing off. He lit the whole caboodle In thinking itd be fun, Creating a mass inferno Leaving him crispy and well done.

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