Schine - The Grammarians

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To Janet

T WIN , n. A couple; a pair; two

Twin, v.t. & i. To part, sever, sunder; deprive (of)

Websters New International Dictionary of the English Language, Second Edition

That writer called, Michael said when she got home. The young one.

Theyre all young now, Michael. Be more specific.

Why dont they call your assistant? I cant be expected to remember everything.

Her assistant? Daphne hadnt had an assistant since 2008. No one had assistants anymore. What was Michael thinking?

She was rude, he was saying. Peremptory.

Ellen, Daphne said.

Yeah, Ellen. She wants to talk to you about your sister.

Daphne went to the kitchen and filled a glass with ice and scotch. Her sister? Well.

Ellen can go whistle Dixie, she said.

But Michael had gone back to his baseball game.

The Yankees are a mean money team, she said.

Honey, give it a rest.

Daphne sat and put her feet up on the ottoman. What about my sister?

I dont know, Daphne. Something about an interview, a reunion, something. You told me to say no to everything about Laurel, so I said no. So I dont know. He put a finger to his lips. Im watching now.

Yeah, yeah. She sipped the drink, stared at the TV without seeing it.

She had not heard from her sister, Laurel, in years. And now a flurry of calls.

Flurry, she said softly. It was a word she and Laurel had both always liked.

C ONVE RSABLENESS. n. s.[fromconversable] The quality of being a pleasing companion; fluency of talk.

A Dictionary of the English Languageby Samuel Johnson

They were late. It wasnt the first time, it wasnt even the first time that day, and she could sense time itself slipping. She wrapped her fingers around the bars. The bars were white and shiny. She could see them even in the dim light. With some effort she pulled herself up, then shook the bars until they rattled.

There was no response from the other side.

She shook the bars again. Where are they? Where are they?

Then the voice came. Theyre late, as usual.

She shook the bars harder. She didnt like the dark, it kept what she loved away from her. It kept her alone.

Although, the voice was saying, if theyre late as usual, then that would be their usual time, and you cant really say theyre late, can you?

Youre a pedant, she said. An insufferable pedant. But what she wanted to do was reach out and touch the voice, which belonged to her sister, to lie down beside her, feel the safety of her, warm and breathing. Pedant, she said again, instead.

Her sister let out a long, shrill scream. There. That ought to bring them running. Happy now?

No, she was not happy now, she was bawling now. The screaming, though it blasted forth from her beloved sister, shocked her every time. She ought to have gotten used to it by now, but she had not.

Oh, dry up, her sister said.

Which made her cry more. Her sisters scream did bring them running, as predicted, but somehow that made it worse, made her angry, and she banged her head against the bars in her rage.

By the time he lifted her, she was howling like a wolf. It wasnt until the bottle arrived that she was able to be calmed.

You do get yourself worked up, he said. He kissed her, and she sucked on the bottle and let the milky sleep wash over her. His shirt smelled of laundry soap and there was the scent of wine on his lips. He walked to her sisters crib. What if there were three of you? he said gently as he picked her up, too, and held her in the crook of his other arm.

See? Her sisters voice was soft now. Its okay now. Everythings okay.

And it was. Her sister was right. She was right so often.

She pushed the bottle to the side of her mouth and said thank you.

More? Is that what you said, little Daphne? He pushed the nipple back to the center of her mouth. There we are.

Their mother came into the room with the other bottle of warm milk. She shook a few drops onto her wrist.

Too hot, she said. Youll have to wait just a minute, Laurel.

No good deed goes unpunished, Laurel said, but the adults just smiled at her patience and good nature.

Our feral little wolf twins, the father said.

They do howl, its true, their mother said. She took a baby, kissing its head.

They want to make sure we hear them. Theyre very intelligent.

One howls, then the second one howls even louder. Its as if one doesnt want to be left behind the other.

Their father bounced the baby he held almost frantically. He sang and paced, his arms aching with her small weight. Are you Laurel or are you Daphne?

Oh, Arthur. But the next day their mother marked Laurels toenail with a dab of scarlet nail polish.

It was difficult sometimes when both girls were red in the face and vibrating with infant rage.

I wish I knew what they wanted, he said one night, holding the twins as his wife came in with the bottles, both properly warmed this time.

Take a wild guess, the little girls cried out. We want those bottles!

I think theyre making themselves quite clear, their mother said, and she laughed. Though sometimes they unnerved Sally, too, chattering away in nonsense syllables as if it were a real language.

Their father exchanged a baby for a bottle, and the children were suddenly quiet, the only sounds their soft sucking and the creak of the upholstered rocking chair as their mother sank into it.

Peace at last, she said, kissing the babys head.

Their father continued to pace, back and forth across the small bedroom with its twin cribs, smiling down at the contented baby he held. I love you, he thought. Whichever the hell one you are.

Laurel was older by seventeen minutes. Daphne hated those seventeen minutes.

Ill never catch up.

Its not a race, their father said.

Well, Laurel wins every race anyway.

But youre smarter, Laurel said. She got tired of hearing about the seventeen minutes. Was it her fault she was older? And taller? And faster? That she came out first? The thought of coming out of their mother made her queasy. Why did everyone always bring it up, you came out first, youre the oldest because you came out first? Youre smarter, so shut up.

You were alive for seventeen minutes without me. I was never alive without you.

So?

So, I dont know. But you were.

Laurel did everything first. Everything good, everything bad. Laurel was first into the cold water at the beach, the first through the door in nursery school and the first through the door of kindergarten. She would be first through the door of every classroom every year thereafter. She was the first into bed, the first one up in the morning.

Laurel! Daphne! Go outside and play, their mother said. Its nice out.

Laurel and Daphne. Two names for the same minor Greek goddess. But Uncle Don, who disliked them, sometimes called them Romulus and Remus Wolfe after the Roman twins suckled by a wolf, nicknames Sally hated. She did not like to think of herself as a hairy wolf. Sometimes Don just called them the Wolves.