Shengold Nina - Shorter, faster, funnier comic plays and monologues

ALSO EDITED BY
Eric Lane and Nina Shengold

Take Ten: New Ten-Minute Plays

Take Ten II: More Ten-Minute Plays

Plays for Actresses

Leading Women: Plays for Actresses II

Talk to Me: Monologue Plays

Under Thirty: Plays for a New Generation

Laugh Lines: Short Comic Plays

A VINTAGE ORIGINAL, MAY 2011

Copyright 2011 by Eric Lane and Nina Shengold

All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Vintage Books, a division of Random House, Inc., New York, and in Canada by Random House of Canada Limited, Toronto.

Vintage and colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.

Permissions can be found at the end of the book.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Shorter, faster, funnier : comic plays and monologues / edited by Eric
Lane and Nina Shengold.1st ed.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-74335-0
1. American drama (Comedy). 2. Monologues, American.
I. Lane, Eric. II. Shengold, Nina.
PS627.C65 S56 2011
812.052308dc22
2011001949

www.vintagebooks.com

Cover credit: Chris Faith in the 2009 production of The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) produced by The Pennsylvania Shakespeare Festival. Photo by Lee A. Butz.
Design by Katya Mezhibovskaya

v3.1

Asian chefs cite five flavor notessweet, sour, salty, bitter, and spicywithout which no meal is complete. While assembling the plays in this anthology, the editors enjoyed a dazzling range of comedic hors doeuvres. From laugh-out-loud funny to subtly amusing, caustic, witty, or outrageous, there are as many flavors of comedy as there are senses of humor.

We read over 400 short plays and monologues to create this all-you-can-eat comic buffet. We found delectable morsels by celebrated humorists Christopher Durang (Funeral Parlor), David Ives (The Blizzard), Warren Leight (Norm-Anon), Mark ODonnell (You Know Who Else I Hate?), and Theresa Rebeck (The Contract); inspired monologues by actor/playwrights Halley Feiffer (Thank You So Much for Stopping), Dan Berkowitz (Sourpuss), and Tony Award winner Mary Louise Wilson (Tirade); plus enough superb audition pieces, two-handers, and ensemble plays to satisfy laugh-hungry actors, readers, and audience members.

We chose monologues of all lengths, from Liz Ellisons swift Gabrielle and Elizabeth Wongs spiky Ripper Girl to Jeffrey Hatchers epic Match Wits with Minka Lupino, from his monologue trio Murderers. Pete Barrys irascible businessman extends his free fall from a plane to hilarious lengths in Nine Point Eight Meters per Second per Second. Jane Shepards Long Distance reveals a mans thorny encounter with a former classmate, while Edwin Snchezs Ernesto the Magnificent fiercely paints a performance by an embittered sword swallower.

Theres also a wealth of plays for two actors. Amy Herzogs Christmas Present, Mark Harvey Levines The Rental, and Garth Wingfields Mary Just Broke Up with This Guy put unique spins on that staple of comedy, boy meets girl. In Anton Dudleys romantic Getting Home, boy meets hunky Indian cabdriver. The couple in Eric Lanes Curtain Raiser tackles an abandoned Woolworth building; in Wayne Rawleys The Scary Question, another couple bonds over zombies.

There are graceful duets for young actors, including Samara Siskinds Bar Mitzvah Boy, Megan Mostyn-Browns The Woods Are for Suckers and Chumps, Michael Mitnicks Life without Subtext, and Ean Miles Kesslers bullet-paced Brotherly Love. Senior actors will cherish Peter Handys bittersweet Friendship and Drew Larimores The Anniversary, quite possibly the first play about retirees in postapocalyptic Siberia.

Three plays for two actressesNicole Quinns lyrical Sandchair Cantata, Laura Shaines poignant The Whole Truth & Nothing but the Bluetooth, and Barbara Wiechmanns salty duet for obsessed Realtors, 36 Rumson Roadtreat womens darkest anxieties with a refreshingly light touch.

On the testosterone side, Dan Koiss The Rumor outs a surprising scandal in mens sports, Gary Winters I Love Neil LaBute deftly skewers the playwright dubbed Americas reigning misanthrope, and Dana Yeatons Men in Heat bares the mysteries of the male biological clock.

Genders bend freely in Adam Bocks Three Guys and a Brenda, in which all four title characters are played by actresses. Nina Shengolds Double Date upends political correctness by taking joined at the hip at face value, while Jacquelyn Reingolds A Very Very Short Play sparks an airplane romance between a one-foot-tall woman and a twelve-foot-tall man, both played by actors of average height.

Rob Ackermans You Have Arrived also encourages very non-traditional casting, as one of its actresses plays a GPS monitor. Other three-character plays include John Augustines uproariously acerbic cell-phone-age comedy PeopleSpeak and Caleen Sinnette Jenningss Uncovered, which finds gallows humor in the post-Katrina cleanup. Eric Cobles physical comedy H.R. is equally topical, observing a quartet of cubicle workers whipping themselves into a froth at the prospect of being downsized.

Three plays with larger casts go back to school for laughs. Billy Aronsons Reunions offers a wonderfully demented spin on catching-up small talk among high school alumni, Philip Dawkinss whimsical Nothing riffs on an alien invasion at school, and the gruff coach in Daryl Watsons hilarious Snap tries to whip his dozens insult team (including a stuttering girl with unforeseen gifts) into shape.

For divinely inspired slapstick humor, try Mikhail Horowitzs Mere Vessels, a fearless inquiry into the spiritual lives of ventriloquists dummies, or Elizabeth Meriwethers Particle Board, which gives the pompous Great Man documentary a well-deserved plank in the face.

As editors of more than a dozen play anthologies, weve been gratified to hear of many multiplay productions culled from our previous books. We urge readers of Shorter, Faster, Funnier to enjoy these plays in any way you can: read them aloud with friends; mount a staged reading, full production, or evening of short plays. As always, be sure to acquire the proper rights firstplaywrights dont take kindly to finding unauthorized performances in online listings or YouTube postings. Contacts for performance rights are listed in the back of this book, along with playwrights biographies and an index by cast size.

Whatever your comic taste, youre sure to find something within these pages to make you laugh. Youll also find heartache and suspense, poetic language and raunchy jokes. Comedy is a many-flavored banquet, and we invite you to pull up a chair. Enjoy!

ERIC LANE AND NINA SHENGOLD ,
June 2010

Many people contributed greatly to the creation of this anthology. Wed like to thank the many literary managers, theaters, agents, publishers, playwrights, and friends who led us to such terrific plays and helped us secure the rights.