Stilwell - Its me or the dog: how to have the perfect pet

I dedicate this book to my beloved

husband Van and daughter Alexandra.

I am blessed to have you in my life and

love you both so much.

Contents

When I was a child, I longed for a dog. I used to put notes under my fathers pillow at night. Please Daddy, can I have a dog? I promise you that if I get a dog I will never be naughty again. My father always refused. There was one important reason why, and it was not the fact that he was not a dog-lover himself. Instead, it was because he knew that after the novelty wore off, he and my mother would be the ones who would have to look after the animal. As they both worked, it simply wasnt practical. Looking back, I know they were right. In the last 15 years, Ive more than made up for lost time. Ive been a professional dog-walker, Ive worked at dog shelters and in dogs homes, and continue to advise various rescue organizations. And Ive fostered more than 40 dogs that were too old, too difficult, or too sick to be easily re-homed.

When I was growing up, the closest I came to owning a dog was to visit the Beagles my grandmother bred. Our favorite outing was to walk the dogs along the fields beside the River Thames. Occasionally, the dogs would make a run for freedom. I have lasting memories of four Beagles taking off into the sunset, ears flapping, mouths turned up in grins at the thrill of the chase, while my grandmother, to no avail, yelled at them to come back. They were the worst-trained dogs you could imagine, but when they eventually returned home by themselves a couple of hours later, dirty, tired, and exhilarated, they were the happiest creatures on earth.

My grandmother was a great inspiration to me, and has been a huge influence on my work. She grew up in a privileged, well-to-do home, with four older brothers, but she never conformed to how her father expected his little girl to behave. Rather than wearing pretty dresses, she longed to ride horses, work in kennels, and get muddy and dirty like her brothers were allowed to do. When her father died while she was in her teens, she proceeded to go her own way. Well before I came on the scene, she set up one of the first dog-grooming parlors in London, and then she became a breeder of Beagles. Her dogs, while a little lacking in training, were never spoiled, but they always came first in her affections. Those dogs had a five-star lifestyle.

Benno was my first dog. I say my, but he wasnt really mine. I was a young aspiring actor, and like many actors, was spending more time waiting tables than appearing on the stage. My sister was a veterinary nurse who supplemented her income by taking occasional dog-sitting jobs. Flat broke, and desperate to lead some semblance of a normal life, I took her advice and advertised myself as a dog-sitter. Within days, I received my first call, from Bennos owners.

Benno was a Border Collie puppy who lived with two busy lawyers. Even then, it seemed strange to me that two people who were working all day had decided to bring a puppy into their home, but at least they had the good sense to employ someone to care for him while they were out.

I will never forget our first walk on Wimbledon Common. Benno looked up at me with such excitement, and somehow his eyes conveyed an energy that flowed right through me. That moment marked the beginning of my wonderful relationship with dogs.

Within a couple of months of taking that first job walking Benno, I was exercising 20 dogs a day. The morning shift consisted of what I called the misfits, a motley crew representing many of the more popular breeds. Teddy, the Labrador puppy, was only too happy to roll in every patch of mud he could find. Shanty, the epileptic Bearded Collie, liked to leap over ferns like a would-be Giselle, while Wilbur, the white Boxer, who pretended to be the tough guy, was always the first one to run and hide behind my legs when any of the other dogs got angry with him.

The afternoon shift comprised the aristocrats: The Schnauzer, Willie, and Archie, the West Highland Terrier, looked down their noses at all the other dogs, while delicately sniffing the ground around them. However, Jessie, the German Shepherd, whose owner was a well-known politician, kept everyone in their place.

Whether with misfits or aristocrats, I would walk for hours on Wimbledon Common surrounded by these glorious creatures. The dogs never ran away, even though they were off the leash, nor did they fight. I never questioned why they didnt. It wasnt until I became a trainer that I understood why those dogs wanted to be with me. To the dogs, I was their leader and they listened to everything I said. They knew that they had a good thing going, and that when I showed up to walk them, pleasant and exciting things were about to happen. They respected me because I treated them with the utmost care and respect. They trusted me and knew that I was their protector. Those dogs with their quirks and diverse personalities were my introduction into the fascinating world of canine behavior.

One day on the Common I met a behaviorist and we got talking. By then, I was becoming more curious about why dogs acted the way that they did, and from that point onward I began to back up my observations with study, reading books, going to seminars, and taking courses. At the same time, I volunteered as a walker for the famous Battersea Dogs Home my first experience of handling rescue dogs. I also worked with Greyhound rescue agencies and other dog shelters.

When I moved across the Atlantic to New York City in 1999, my work stepped up a notch. I set up a training school to instruct families with children on safe and effective dog training. I worked with the ASPCA and with rescue shelters in Manhattan in addition to training dogs in New York, New Jersey, and Pennsylvania. After spending two years filming Its Me or the Dog in Britain, I relocated down south to Georgia, where I now run a training organization as well as serve as a behavior advisor to a number of rescue shelters in the north Georgia area.

My husband and I fostered many dogs while we were in New York dogs that we pulled from the municipal shelters before they were put to sleep. We looked after the elderly, and nurtured the young ones, many who were sick or had mental scars from abuse. In many cases, we were able to rehabilitate these dogs and find them new homes. We were careful not to form too close a bond with our foster dogs so they would find it easier to bond with their new owners, but it still wasnt easy to say good-bye. We missed having our own dog, but work commitments kept us traveling and we were unable to offer a dog a stable lifestyle. Now, after many years, we are the proud owners of a rescued chocolate Labrador called Sadie.

The two sides of my work, dog rescue and dog training, are deeply linked. Do you know that 96% of dogs that end up abandoned in shelters have never had any training? The year before I arrived in New York, 67,000 dogs and cats found themselves in shelters, and 47,000 of them were put down. Thats a tragic waste of life. The situation has now improved somewhat, with owners becoming more aware of the need to neuter their pets, but more dogs are still being bred than there are people who are willing to look after them properly.

I have a profound respect for the domestic dog. For thousands of years, the dog has cohabited with humans, and put up with all the idiosyncrasies of our world. This unique and unbreakable partnership between dog and human has made the dog one of the most successful species on the planet. Your dogs predecessors ensured the survival of the species by aligning themselves with the one other species that has the utmost power to protect them from threat: man. From fighting a constant battle for survival in the wild to sleeping on a comfy couch with an endless supply of food and affection now thats a clever animal!