Sarah Harding - Hear Me Out

One fifth of Brit-award-winning pop group Girls Aloud, singer Sarah Harding was part of the UKs biggest selling girl group of the 20th Century. With 8 million record sales, the band also achieved a run of twenty consecutive Top 10 singles in the UK charts. Before fame beckoned, Sarah toured the North West of England performing at social clubs and pubs. Her first foray into acting came in the BBC TV film Freefall, where she played the beautician girlfriend of Dominic Cooper. Sarah also had a starring role in St. Trinians 2: The Legend of Frittons Gold and went on to have a leading role in Ghost: The Musical. Outside of acting, Sarah was crowned the winner of the 20th series of Celebrity Big Brother.

Hear Me Out is her first and only book.

For my mum

Thank you for all your support and love

And for putting up with me

Love you x

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Sarah Harding

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Sarah Harding

Sarah Harding

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with kind permission of Sarah Harding fans

Sarah Harding

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Sarah Harding: Elisabeth Hoff

This book is a work of non-fiction based on the life, experiences and recollections of the author. In some cases, names of people, places, dates, sequences and the detail of events have been changed to protect the privacy of others.

Its strange, this world I find myself in. Its like Ive stepped on to another planet where everything seems unfamiliar. I suppose everybody could say that in the midst of a global pandemic, but thats not it for me. As I write this, its a few weeks before my 39th birthday, and I have no idea whats waiting for me in the year to come. Nothing is certain any more.

As most of you will know, I have cancer. Cancer that has spread from its original site in my breast to my lung, making it much harder to treat. Im doing my absolute best to be positive and to fight it. Still, it seems that, even with the best immunotherapy, Ill be looking at two years maximum.

As those of you who have been through something like this know, some days are easier than others. During my ongoing chemotherapy treatment, I have good days and bad days.

On the good ones I find myself getting a bit restless, not knowing what to do with myself. I have a busy mind and always have had; thats one of the reasons I decided to write this book. Its given me something positive to focus on. Its also a chance to reflect on everything, good and bad, and to remind myself what a wonderfully full and colourful life Ive had up to this point. A life Im very grateful for, having achieved above and beyond anything I dreamed of when I was a little girl.

The other reason for writing my book now is that its, I suppose, a way to set a few things straight. Everyone has an opinion, thats a given, and I imagine most people picking up my book will have an opinion about me some good; some maybe not so good. We all make judgements about people we think we know; its human nature. I cant rewrite history; all I can do is be as honest as I can and wear my heart on my sleeve. Thats something that hasnt always worked out for me in the past, but its really the only way I know.

Ive done my best to be honest and get it all down, although its probably better that I dont tell you absolutely everything now otherwise, therell be nothing left to put in a sequel!

One of the things Id like to achieve with my book is to show people the real me. Or perhaps remind them. I suppose thats one of the reasons many people write an autobiography, but for me its especially relevant. When I look back at my time in Girls Aloud, I feel like I became a caricature. OK, so maybe I put out a particular image, which the press and media latched on to. It was an easy one to work with: rock chick, blonde bombshell, party girl, the caner of the band. For me, it was like, Oh! Thats who I am then. Ive been looking for my role in the band, so this must be it. So, in that respect I suppose it became easy for me as well. Convenient. I mean, I liked a drink, I was a bit rebellious, I liked to go out partying, so it was a win/win. Until it wasnt.

Somewhere among the nightclubs, the frocks and hairdos, the big chart hits and the glamour of being a pop star, the other Sarah Harding got utterly lost. Im saying the other Sarah rather than the real Sarah because there is most definitely that fun, crazy party girl in me there always was. It was the other Sarah the one who liked curling up at home with her dog and a good book; the one who enjoyed cooking a roast dinner for her friends; the one who liked spending nights alone, writing songs and making music who got lost. Shes the one whos been forgotten. Yet shes still here. Shes right here talking to you now. And all she wants is for you to hear her out. Now more than ever: hear me out.

What do little girls dream of becoming? Princesses? Politicians? Athletes or astronauts? Nurses or mothers? All of the above, I suppose, depending on the little girl. Well, my dream was crystal clear from the start. I wanted to be a pop star. Wait, thats not exactly true. Not a pop star a singer. I wanted to sing, and I wanted people to hear me sing. I wanted to perform and to have everyone watch me. At family gatherings, when I was little, I gave performances for my parents and anyone else I could get to watch.

Now sit down, everyone, Id say, Im about to sing.

Only it wasnt that simple. It wasnt just that I wanted to sing for people I also wanted to get some kind of reaction to what I was doing; for people to think I was good at it. I wanted to be loved and accepted.

I suppose thats all Ive ever really wanted.

As I got older, music and singing continued to dominate my childhood dreams. My dad, John, was hugely into music. A talented musician in his own right, he played lead guitar, piano and bass, and he sang too. I vividly remember the photograph of him and his guitar, which was on display at my grannys house. Dad has been in quite a few bands over the years, and one of the things we have in common is that weve both performed at The Royal Variety Performance and met the Queen. How cool is that?

I was never what youd call a girly girl, even back then. That said, I enjoyed art and drawing very much. One of my early efforts was a picture of myself being filmed by a camera crew walking towards a front door. Maybe it was my very own little prediction of what was to come; I dont know. I always loved cooking, too, right from when I was a little girl, and I remember being in the Brownies, making a mean sausage and mash, which is still one of my favourites. Maybe its because my mum has always made the best mashed potato I guess its the Irish in us.