Sh!t Theatre - Dollywould

First published in 2018 by Oberon Books Ltd

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Sections of interview between Dolly Parton and Barbara Walters, 1977 ABC News

Copyright Rebecca Biscuit & Louise Mothersole, 2018

Rebecca Biscuit & Louise Mothersole are hereby identified as authors of this play in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. The authors have asserted their moral rights.

All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before commencement of rehearsal to Oberon Books Ltd., 521 Caledonian Road, London N7 9RH, United Kingdom (). No performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained, and no alterations may be made in the title or the text of the play without the authors prior written consent.

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Every effort has been made to trace copyright holders and to obtain their permission for the use of copyright material. The publisher apologizes for any errors or omissions and would be grateful if notified of any corrections that should be incorporated in future reprints or editions of this book.

A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

PB ISBN: 9781786824653

E ISBN: 9781786824660

Cover image by Field & McGlynn

Printed and bound by 4EDGE Limited, Hockley, Essex, UK.

eBook conversion by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY.

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A BRIEF HISTORY OF DOLLYWOULD

We started making work together in 2010 and had lived and worked with each other since. In 2014 we started writing a show about what turned out to be our illegally sublet council flat in North London.

The show was called Letters to Windsor House. Our council block and all surrounding blocks were un-ironically named after royal palaces: Windsor; Buckingham; Hollyrood. It began as a show about the housing crisis. We saw our flat and the surrounding North London zone two area as a microcosm of what was happening city and country-wide. However, the show also became perhaps inevitably a study of our relationship. Living and working together, with the same friends and the same hobbies, was as difficult as it was brilliant. We sat down in a caf together whilst making Letters to Windsor House and decided to write each other letters and read them out. The letters were about what we liked about living together, and then what we didnt. We read them aloud, wept quite publically, and put them in the show.

In the lead up to the Edinburgh Fringe of 2016 when Letters to Windsor House premiered (whilst rehearsing these brutally honest letters day after day, touring another show and the various other personal issues that weve agreed together we wont write about here) we had a final fight which resulted in Becca leaving Windsor House.

Letters to Windsor House (also published by Oberon) did well at the Fringe, but the next piece we made together would have to be different if we were going to keep working together. Every show we had devised up this point had come from a place of anger about the benefit system, the pharmaceutical industry, the treatment of women in the media, the housing crisis and now this Letters show, with the added heavy personal element. We started writing DollyWould in 2016 amongst the political climate of How-Can-it-Get-Worse, of Brexit and Trump, and so we decided that this time wed make a show from a place of love.

And we both f**king love Dolly Parton.

We have a video made on Beccas phone of Louise booking tickets to Dollywood in our freezing studio in North London. Shes wrapped up in multiple scarves and hats Louise does not like the cold and shes making a phone call to Jen, our Jeneral Manager (geddit) and shes telling Jen its actually happening. Were going to Dollywood. Theres a pause during which we are behind the camera laughing hysterically and we are clearly delighted. Delighted together.

We could afford to go to Tennessee for a total of thirty hours, with an overnight layover in Chicago to make it even cheaper. We were to stay with Beccas old friend Saras* family for free. To get to Oak Ridge, Tennessee you fly to Chicago OHare airport and then take one of those small planes that famous people always die on to Knoxville. On the plane Louise got talking to a local woman about Dolly Parton, who was surprised that her local hero mattered so much to three foreigners. She told Louise the story of how Dollys local town had burnt down that year, and that Dolly had given $1000 a month to every household for six months to help them re-build their lives.

Knoxville airport contains multiple fountains, fresh plants, a full-sized stuffed bear and a full-sized yacht-plane and, at 10pm in April, is a perfect balmy temperature.

We got a taxi to Oak Ridge, about 50 minutes away. The taxi driver expressed his worry about London to us. Werent we nervous with all of the terrorism all of the time? And then gave us his wifes business card in case we wanted to buy a house while we were visiting.

In the morning Kathleen Saras mum, who is an incredible host and says darlin and has a porch for porch sittin and made us feel like family in the first five minutes of being there offered to call Dollywood for us. Southern hospitality is not a myth. She asked the poor woman on the helpline if Dolly would be there (no maam), if these English artists would be able to have Dollys personal phone number (no maam) or even maybe her email address (no maam).

The first evening we were hosted by Saras sister Kendahl and her husband Steven. We met friends and dogs and made dinner and eventually got drunk enough to convince Kendahl to call in sick to work for the first time in her life and drive us to Dollywood the next day.

The Day of Dolly, Sara and Bojan took one car and Kendahl bundled us and Jen into hers and drove for a couple of hours in the early morning to Dollywood. Our One Day in Dollywood went by in a blur of excitement and the fear you feel when you finally achieve a life goal. We spent money. We tried funnel cake. We got soaked on a rollercoaster. Turns out Jen is scared of rollercoasters so had made the 5000 mile round trip in order to hold all of our bags in the blistering sun.

That evening we decamped to Mark and Mitsys friends of the family who had hosted Sara and Bojans Tennesee wedding in their garden overlooking a lake. They fed us and gave us full access to their wine cellar. We sat for hours and hours in a line on the porch, looking out into the night, drunk and rambling on about Dolly and America and music and our lives and their lives. Southern hospitality is not a myth.

The Day After Dolly and with huge hangovers, Bojan drove us to try and break into the Tennessee Body Farm in an uninsured car. This trip turned out to be riskier than thought when the police quickly showed up outside the Body Farm gate. Bojan then drove us to deal with the hangover with fried food, and then drove us (its a whole lot of drivin over there) to Ambition Tattoo, where wed booked to get Dolly etched permanently into our flesh, together. The tattoo artists were called Dawne, Tommy-Lee and Jarvis. Dawne specialises in tattoos of tampons and voted Trump, Tommy asked Louise if she played video games and when she said no didnt speak for two hours, and Jarvis started a tattoo on Jens thigh so large and painful he had to be stopped before it was finished. Louise retched into a bucket. Jen almost passed out. Bojan went out for water and sugary snacks to help and came back and got a new tattoo for himself while he waited for us to finish.