Rita Mae Brown - Santa Clawed (Mrs. Murphy Mysteries)

Contents

Mom and Dad always
told me to work with
the best. I do.
Therefore, this book
is dedicated to my
editor, Danielle Perez.

Acknowledgments

Surround yourselves with good people. Every day John Morris Sr. and John Morris Jr. (Toot), along with Robert Steppe, come to work on the farm. They are a joy. Dana Flaherty, professional whipper-in, also manages the farm, and she frees me from many of the small burdens so I can concentrate on the larger. The hunt club members (we dont kill foxes so dont get your knickers in a knot) are the best people I know, and they carry me along.

But in many ways the deepest acknowlegments must go to my cats, dogs, horses, and hounds, for I connect often more intensely with these friends than I do with most humans. Perhaps I know their language better, who is to say? If there arent cats, dogs, horses, hounds, and, of course, foxes, in heaven, Im not going. Then again, I might not be going anyway. Curious, isnt it, that even in the afterlife humans have created an uptown and a downtown?

I couldnt live without my four-footed friends, and I couldnt write, either.

Cast of Characters

Mary Minor Harry HaristeenFormerly the postmistress of Crozet, she now is trying to make a go of it with farming. She turned forty in August and doesnt seem to mind.

Pharamond Fair Haristeen, D.V.M.Harrys husband is an equine vet, and he tries to keep his wife out of trouble, with limited success.

Susan TuckerHarrys best friend since cradle days, who often marvels at how Harrys mind works, when it works. The two of them know each other so well that, if they wished, one could finish the others sentences.

Mrs. Miranda HogendobberMiranda observes a great deal but keeps most of it to herself. Shes in her early seventies, devoutly Christian, and mothers Harry, who lost her own mother when she was in her twenties.

Marilyn Big Mim SanburneThe Queen of Crozet sees all and knows all, or would like to, at any rate. She despotically improves everyones lot but is good-hearted underneath it all.

Aunt Tally UrquhartThis wild woman, in her nineties, must be a devotee of the god Pan, for shes in her glory when pandemonium reigns. Shes Big Mims aunt and delights in shocking her prim niece.

Deputy Cynthia CooperHarrys neighbor, she, like Fair, tries to keep Harry out of trouble when she can. Shes smart and likes law enforcement.

Sheriff Rick ShawHes the dedicated public servant, insightful but by the book. He wearies of the politics of his position, but he never wearies of bringing criminals to justice. He likes Harry, but she gets in the way.

Olivia BoomBoom CraycroftShe was widowed in her early thirties and, being quite beautiful, always trailed troops of men behind her. One of them was Fair Haristeen, who had an affair with her when he was separated from Harry. He and Harry have since divorced and remarried. BoomBoom can be forceful when necessary.

Alicia PalmerA great movie star, now in her fifties, shes thrilled to be back on the farm in Crozet. Shes also thrilled that shes found BoomBoom, for they truly connect.

The Really Important Characters

Mrs. MurphyShes a pretty tiger cat with brains, speed, and a reasonably tolerant temperament. She knows she cant really keep Harry, her human, out of trouble, but she can sometimes get her out once shes in a mess.

Tee TuckerThis corgi, also devoted to Harry, has great courage and manages to live with two cats. That says a lot.

PewterThe gray cannonball, as she does not like to be known, affects disdain for humans. However, she loves Harry and Fair. If its possible to avoid a long way or trouble, shes the first to choose that path.

SimonLiving in the barn with all the horses pleases this possum. He also likes Harry, as much as he can like humans. She gives him treats.

FlatfaceSharing the loft with Simon, this great horned owl looks down on earthbound creatures, figuratively and literally. However, in a pinch, Flatface can be counted on.

MatildaShes a big blacksnake and the third roommate in the barn loft. Her sense of humor borders on the black, too.

OwenTee Tuckers brother belongs to Susan Tucker, who bred the litter. He doesnt know how his sister can tolerate the cats. When in feline company, he behaves, but he thinks the cats are snobs.

Since Mrs. Murphy, Tucker, and Pewter live on a farm, various creatures cross their path, from bears to foxes to one nasty blue jay. They love all the horses, which cant be said for some of the other creatures, but then, the horses are domesticated. Pewter declares she is not domesticated but merely resting in a house with regular meals.

S t. Lukes, a beautiful stone church on the outskirts of Crozet, Virginia, appeared even more stunning than usual given the fresh snow on the rooftops, the windowsills of the parish office, and the pastors living quarters across the now-white quad. Plumes of smoke rose from the great hall, which formed one side of the quad, and smoke spiraled from the parish office. The church was built in 1803, and it was clear that those early Lutherans needed many fireplaces. Over the centuries the buildings had been wired, vented, and plumbed. The modern conveniences served to enhance comfort. The structures had to last for centuries and no doubt would endure more improvements over ensuing centuries.

As Harry Haristeen walked across the large quad to the great hall, her two cats and corgi behind her, she wondered if people today could build as securely as our forefathers did. Seemed like things were built to fall apart. Grateful that she lived in an old farmhouse built about the same time as the church, she paused on her way to the work party long enough to make a snowball and throw it up in the air.

Tucker, the corgi, jumped up to catch it. As she did, the snowball chilled her teeth, so she dropped it.

Dumb! Pewter, the portly gray cat, laughed.

I knew it would do that, but if she throws a ball, I have to catch it. Thats my job, Tucker defended herself.

Harry decided to sprint the last two hundred yards to warm up.

The tiger cat, Mrs. Murphy, shot past her. The shoveled walkway was covered with inches of fresh snow but easily negotiable.

Pewter, hating to be outdone, couldnt get around Harry so she leapt onto the snow, where she promptly sank.

Tucker, trotting on the path, called out, Dumb.

A snow triangle like a coolie hat on her head did not cool down Pewters temper. She shook off the snow hat, plowed onto the path. Running right up to Tuckers butt, she reached out and gave the dog a terrific swat.

Tucker growled, stooped to whirl around.

Harry commanded over her shoulder, Thats enough, you two.

Youre lucky she saved your fat rear end. Pewter flattened her ears to look extra mean.

Ooh la. The dog now ignored the cat, which was far more upsetting than a knock-down/drag-out to Pewter, who felt the world revolved around her.