Rita Mae Brown - Sneaky Pies Cookbook for Mystery Lovers

SNEAKY PIES COOKBOOK FOR MYSTERY LOVERS
A Bantam Book/May 1999

All rights reserved.
Copyright 1999 by American Artists, Inc.

Illustrations copyright 1999 by Katie Cox Shively

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher. For information address: Bantam Books.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Brown, Rita Mae.
Sneaky Pies cookbook for mystery lovers / Sneaky Pie Brown.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-0-307-57397-1
1. Cookery. 2. CatsAnecdotes. I. Title.
TX714.B79 1999
641.5dc21 99-12337

Bantam Books are published by Bantam Books, a division of Random House, Inc. Its trademark, consisting of the words Bantam Books and the portrayal of a rooster, is Registered in U.S. Patent and Trademark Office and in other countries. Marca Registrada. Bantam Books, 1540 Broadway, New York, New York 10036.

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C AT CUISINE IS very simple: meat, fish, and fowl. We are obligate carnivores, which means we must eat meat to stay healthy. Not that one has to eat as much as my sidekick Pewter, whose butt is so big you could show a movie on it. A kitty should know his or her limits.

Ive included my favorite recipes plus a few for humans, dogs, and even a couple for horses.

Personally, I enjoy eating with humans but I refuse to eat with dogs. All that gobbling and swallowing chunks of food whole just turns my stomach. Then you spend the rest of the day listening to the symphony played by their intestines. Cats are ever so elegant compared to dogs.

I have personally tested each cat recipe, Tucker has tested the dog recipes and my veterinarian, Christopher Middleton, has checked them out, too. Ive noted serving sizes only on those recipes for humans. The servings for cats, dogs, and a few others will vary from animal to animal. Tell your human to consider these treats. Im assuming your regular diet has the protein and carbohydrates you need plus a touch of fat for the winter.

Youll find no recipes for mouse tartare, mole souffl, or batwing soup. If I included them and your humans read this, the poor souls would faint dead away. You know how squeamish they are. Imagine telling them how to bite off a mouses head? Get the smelling salts!

I hope you enjoy these and I wish you bon apptit and good health.

Yours in Catitude,

Sneaky Pie

Makes 24

1 (ounce) package active dry yeast

cup warm water

1 cup milk, scalded

cup granulated sugar

cup ( stick) unsalted butter or margarine

1 teaspoon salt

3 cups allpurpose flour

1 large egg

cup ( stick) unsalted butter, melted

cup brown sugar

2 teaspoons cinnamon

cup raisins (optional)

T OPPING

cup brown sugar

cup (1 stick) unsalted butter or margarine

2 tablespoons light corn syrup

cup orange marmalade

1. Stir the yeast into the warm water and allow to soften (about 5 minutes).

2. Meanwhile, in a medium bowl, combine the milk, granulated sugar, cup butter, and salt. Set aside to cool.

3. Once the milk and sugar mixture has cooled, add 1 cups flour and beat well. Beat in the softened yeast and egg. Gradually stir in the remaining flour to form a soft, sticky dough.

4. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead the dough briefly to form a smooth ball. Place the kneaded dough in a greased bowl, turning the dough several times to grease the surface. Cover the bowl with a damp cloth and let rise until doubled in volume, 1 to 2 hours.

5. While the dough is rising, combine all the ingredients for the topping in a small saucepan. Heat slowly over low heat, stirring often, until the brown sugar has dissolved. Pour the warm topping mixture into two 8 8 2-inch pans and set aside.

6. Turn the dough out onto a lightly floured surface and divide in half. Form half into a ball and let rest while rolling the other half into a 12 8-inch rectangle.

7. Brush the rolled dough with half the melted butter, sprinkle with cup brown sugar, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and cup raisins, if using. Roll lengthwise into a tube and pinch the edges together to seal. Cut the roll crosswise into twelve 1-inch slices.

8. Roll the other ball into a 12 8-inch rectangle and repeat step 7.

9. Place the slices, cut sides down, on top of the topping mixture in the prepared pans. Cover; let rise about 35 to 40 minutes. Preheat the oven to 350 F.

10. Remove the cover from the pans and bake the buns about 30 minutes, or until brown on top. Cool 2 to 3 minutes, invert on plates, and remove the pans.

W HAT A CHARACTER Mrs. Miranda Hogendobber is. Shes a devout member of The Church of the Holy Light. She quotes scripture better than TV preachers. She sings in the choir. She fudges about her age but is finally brought up short by her fiftieth high school reunion. She helps out at the Crozet post office, where she is good friends with the much younger Mary Minor Harristeen, the postmistress. Widowed, Mrs. H. hasnt much money. She often brings in treats shes baked and Harry, as well as others, encourage her to sell her baked goods.

She finally does go next door to the convenience market and the proprietor says hell give it a go. Well, her items are a hit, but none so much as these orange cinnamon buns. The success gives Mrs. H. what she calls pin money.

I adore Mrs. H. because in my very first mystery, Wish You Were Here, she doesnt much care for cats and dogs. Mrs. Murphy, with help from Tucker, wins her overbut of course!

1 (6ounce) can tuna packed in oilunless youre fat, then use a can of tuna packed in water

pint halfandhalf (Again, if youre a fat cat change that to an equal amount of 2% milk.)

1. Mix the ingredients together until mushy. Humans wont like it so youll have it all to yourself. And although we all deserve a great big treat on New Years Eve, this is probably enough for you and a feline friend.

2. Serve precisely at twelve oclock midnight for a prosperous New Year.