Devon Rowcliffe - Who ate all the squid? : football adventures in South Korea

First published by Pitch Publishing, 2020

Pitch Publishing

A2 Yeoman Gate

Yeoman Way

Durrington

BN13 3QZ

www.pitchpublishing.co.uk

Devon Rowcliffe, 2020

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Any oversight will be rectified in future editions at the earliest opportunity by the publisher.

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A CIP catalogue record is available for this book from the British Library

Print ISBN 9781785316814

eBook ISBN 9781785318047

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TO THE Pride of Pusan members, particularly then-president Jang Seok-ho, for kindly inviting me to accompany them and for enduring my presence during bleak matches and tortuous bus journeys (sans toilets) across the Korean peninsula.

To Mark Trevena and the eclectic users of the (sadly defunct) ROKfootball.com forum, without whom this book would not have been possible.

To my late father, who bestowed in me a passion for writing and a predisposition for interests in niche topics, as well as providing me the freedom to be exploratory and independent from a young age.

To my mother, who exposed me to numerous cultures and languages as a child, which likely served as the genesis of my eventual interest in North East Asia.

And most of all to my irreplaceable spouse, who was supportive of my mid-life career change, encouraged me to follow my passions (even if our bank balance suffered), and persisted through 17 years of my incessant blathering about an embryonic manuscript that never quite seemed to approach completion. The mythical book is finally real; may your ears now find tranquillity.

(squad number, name, position, age at start of season, year of birth)

1 Jung Yoo-suk (), goalkeeper, 25 (1977)

2 Jon Olav Hjelde, defender, 31* (1972)

3 Duan imi ( ), midfielder, 22 (1980)

4 Zoran Urumov ( ), midfielder, 25 (1977)

5 Shim Jae-won (), defender, 26 (1977)

7 Jang Dae-il (), defender, 30 (1973)

8 Noh Jung-yoon (), midfielder, 31 (1971)

9 Gwak Kyung-keun (), striker, 30 (1972)

10 Harry Castillo, striker, 28 (1974)

11 Jeon Woo-keun (), midfielder, 26 (1977)

12 Jamie Cureton, striker, 27 (1975)

15 Yoon Hee-joon (), defender, 30 (1972)

17 Ryu Byung-hoon (), defender, 26 (1976)

18 Lee Jang-kwan (), defender, 28 (1974)

19 Lee Jung-hyo (), defender, 27 (1975)

20 Lee Lim-saeng (), defender, 31 (1971)

21 Kim Soo-hyung (), midfielder, 19 (1983)

22 Han Jae-ung (), defender, 18 (1984)

26 Lee Yong-ha (), midfielder, 29 (1973)

27 Kim Chang-oh (), striker, 25 (1978)

29 Choi Kwang-soo (), midfielder, 23 (1979)

30 Boo Young-tae (), midfielder, 17 (1985)

33 Doh Hwa-sung (), midfielder, 22 (1980)

35 Hwang Cheol-min (), striker, 24 (1978)

38 Kim Tae-min (), midfielder, 20 (1982)

40 Kim Yong-dae (), goalkeeper, 23 (1979)

44 Tommy Mosquera Lozano, striker, 26 (1976)

45 Ahn Hyo-yeon (), striker, 25* (1978)

46 Shin Young-rok (), midfielder, 21 (1981)

50 Andy Cooke, striker, 29 (1974)

* age when joined the squad mid-season

(note: list excludes 13 squad members who did not receive any playing time)

INTRODUCTION

Look before you leap
(literally, even a stone bridge should be tested by
banging on it before crossing)

WHO IS your boss? Who is your boss?!?

Scottish football manager Ian Porterfield, in the dressing room for half-time, is pinned up against the wall. The clubs CEO shouts as he punches Porterfields arms and squeezes the Scots throat.

The team is losing 1-0 at home. The CEO is enraged.

What are you going on about? I just want to do my job, responds Porterfield as he gasps for air. He attempts to wriggle free from the CEOs grasp.

After five additional minutes of this physical and verbal barrage, the CEO releases Porterfield from the wall and swings open the dressing room door. The playing squad enters for their half-time team talk, likely unaware of the assault that has just transpired.

After a brief motivation session from a flustered Porterfield, the players saunter back out to the stadium tunnel for the second half. As the last player exits, the CEO slams the dressing room door shut again. He turns back toward Porterfield, then lunges at him.

Who do you think you are? barks the CEO, as he resumes his grip around Porterfields neck, pushing the Scot down on to the teams massage table.

I am Ian Porterfield.

Oh, do you think you are tough? asks the CEO. Is it because you are white that you think you can talk to us that way?

After several further minutes of the altercation, the CEO finally releases Porterfield.

You had better get out of Ghana because you and I cannot work together, says the CEO. I wont pay your salary so why dont you just fuck off!

I want to go out and win the game for the boys and the supporters, says Porterfield.

Why do you want to go out there? asks the exasperated CEO, as if to suggest Porterfield shouldnt bother returning to the pitch for the second half.

I just want to do my job, says Porterfield.

The Scots team perform a second-half comeback, scoring twice and winning the Ghana Premier League match. After brief celebrations, Porterfield strides toward the clubs VIP area, where the CEO usually watches the games. But before Porterfield arrives, the CEO has already launched into a tirade against the Scots wife, Glenda, yelling, You should both just leave Ghana! And you should watch your backs until you go, because I am a powerful man and you dont know who you are messing with.

The above are highlights from Ian Porterfields account of his alleged treatment at Ghanaian football club Kumasi Asante Kotoko. Porterfield would attempt to sue the club and its management for wrongful dismissal, breach of contract, assault and battery, as well as uttering threats, before ultimately settling out of court.

Mere weeks after leaving Ghana, the former Chelsea manager would accept his next international assignment: taking charge of struggling South Korean club football giants Busan Icons. South Korea had a reputation among international football journeymen as a reliable country that paid on time, respected contracts and rarely screwed people around. After several eventful football management stints around the globe, Porterfield looked forward to the stability and predictability of leading a club in North East Asia, his first job in the region.

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