Michael Fazio - Concierge Confidential

This is a true story, though some names have been changed.

Contents

Preface

Theres service, and then there are servants.

The nobleman reclining on a chaise lounge and snapping his fingers is the picture of absurdity. Service is much more of a business-to-business transaction. Both parties come to the table with something that the other wants. And much like other business transactions, a little strategyand simple human considerationwill yield the best possible outcome.

Recently, one of my clients needed help planning a big date. Jordan was contacted to be on the show The Millionaire Matchmaker and he wanted his television appearance to reflect his personality and who he was as a person. For a long time, I had been getting Jordan into all the hippest and coolest places in Manhattan. I was glad to do it. He did all the things that one would expect of a young millionaire and yet he wasnt afraid to admit that it was all new to him. He didnt feign indifference, as if everything was expected to happen as if by magic. He was grateful and he was appreciative. The result was a trail of good will and great energy that he left behind wherever he went. Jordan doesnt have any servants, but he doesnt need them. Instead, he has people delighted to give him good service wherever he goes.

We discussed what the ideal date would be. After eliminating his ideas of skydiving, throwing the opening pitch at a Yankee game, and hiring Shaq for a private game of 2-on-1, I helped convince him that a day trip to the Hamptons would be a more solid choice for a reality show date. His budget would accommodate just about anything.

I realized that a forty-minute helicopter ride to East Hampton would be much more fun than the usual two-and-a-half-hour drive from New York City. I also realized a brand-new helicopter would be even more impressive. I made it a point to hit the phones until I found a charter company who had a shiny Bell 407. They were based at Teterboro, forty-five minutes away. Jordan wouldnt think to ask them to transport the helicopter to the Wall Street Heliportand he didnt need to. I took care of it. All he had to be aware of was that they would be departing from Wall Street at noon.

The helicopter interior could have been designed for James Bond himself. Jordans date looked to him for cues to what her reaction should be. She worried that she was supposed to act as if she was accustomed to being shuttled in a private helicopter. But Jordan made no attempt to stifle his ecstatic reaction, which made it okay for her to be awestruck, too.

When the couple landed in East Hampton they were picked up by limousine. They were then taken to the most picturesque vineyard in Long Island, Wolffer Estate, where Id planned a wine tasting right in between the rows of vines. I convinced East Hampton Gourmet that they should amend their no-delivery policy for Jordan, and he got a gorgeous lunch hand-delivered to the vineyard. Every piece was perfectly orchestrated.

The price tag for his day exceeded $10,000but I made it feel like a million. Thats the difference between good service and outstanding service: you get more than you pay for. I didnt need to make sure that the helicopter was the newest one in the fleet. It wasnt necessary for me to personally go over the directions with the limo driver from the heliport to Wlffer. I made it a point to meet with the general manager of the vineyard to see exactly where Jordans table would be, and I personally supervised the packing of their lunch. Throughout the date, I took time out of my day and kept tabs on everything with the vineyard marketing director.

Jordan would never have thought of this level of attention to detail. People in service are better at providing it than clients are at asking for it. The best service means delivering what you wantedand then delivering what you didnt even know you wanted.

During the date, Jordan sent me a simple text: Its like a movie. Turning a reality show into something out of Hollywood romance is a form of magic, and one I was more than happy to perform.

They say a good magician never reveals his secrets. But Im about to.

Almondgeddon

You sell the sizzle, and not the steak.

Theres no apartment building more sizzling than The Setai Wall Street, which has the chutzpah to describe itself as the worlds most privileged condominiumand the reputation to back it up.

Its as dark as a nightclub in the lobby, with Buddha Bar music playing in the background. It smells very exotic, too. You cant really tell if its fresh gardenias, or if they have scented candles, but it definitely smells very niceand very, very rich . The floor is covered with beautiful silk rugs, and the walls are adorned with gigantic tribal jewelry pieces framed in boxes that protrude almost a foot off the wall. Youd expect there to be some Playboy Playmate in a gorgeous nightgown, smoking a cigarette and dipping into caviar, lounging on the sofa in the lobby.

My concierge company had long since taken concierging outside of the hotel context and into luxury buildings, but theres luxury and then theres luxury . When it came to our relationships with buildings, we always got the nice girl, the Betty. We never got the fancy, sexy Veronicaand The Setai was definitely Veronica. Being a concierge is often about trying to get behind the velvet rope. Getting The Setai would be like jumping over the rope and parking ourselves there, so that were not on the other side constantly trying to push our way in. Wed be in a position to decide who gains access.

I wanted to send in a proposal when The Setai was first going to open, but it was hard to sit down and focus. Concierges do more before nine oclock than most people do in a day. As my staff and I had our meeting, the discussions settled around:

Do organic tampons only come in one absorbency? (They do? Order a crate, then.)

Ms. Strauss wanted Ciao Bella to deliver a salad with grilled chicken to her apartment on Tuesdays and Fridays at noonbut Ciao Bella isnt open for lunch, and they dont deliver. Her second choice restaurant, Jacques, is also not open for lunch. Plan C?

Mr. Jaiswal was just inoculated when he climbed Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. Are there inoculations specific to Rwanda for his next trip? (Yesand how .)

Ms. Sheehan needs to be called. Someone needs to remind her that she cant tell anyone where she got her $5,500 ticket for the premiere party for the new Sarah Jessica Parker movie. She also wants to get private typing lessons.

I dont remember the brand name, Daria reads from a client email, but I just returned from Moscow and I saw an air purifier in the window of an electronics store. It was really sleek looking and modern. Can you get one of those for me?

Car service is a must for Robin, our jeweler, who will be carrying $100,000 worth of diamonds to Mr. Stadtmillers office. Hes too busy to go into the store; maybe the diamond studs arent for his wife? He also wants a second-hand television for $75 or less delivered to his office today.

There is a pop-up restaurant in Paris sponsored by Electrolux. You can only make reservations online, they are only open for a yearand they are totally booked. Does anyone have a vacuum cleaner connection? (Action item: make contact with the director of corporate communications for Electrolux in Milan.)

Who knows the best Jewish bakery in the Marais area of Paris?

Any ideas for a fifty-eight-year-olds bachelorette party? Anyone?

But if my mind was in the countless requests we were working our way through, my heart was focused on finding time to write that business proposal for The Setai. It was the days of yore2007when Soho House still mattered and people fought for reservations at Spice Market. The market had yet to crash, and The Setai was going to be the new playground for all the hedge funders sick of Core Club.