Tiana Smith - How to Speak Boy

Pantyhose were invented by the devil. This is a well-known fact. They squeeze the life from your ovaries while simultaneously giving you a wedgie big enough to make any middle school bully proud. And to make things worse, they are never a perfect color match, no matter what the package says. But right now, they were the perfect distraction.

I picked up two different options and turned to my best friend, holding them close to my face to compare.

Do you think my skin tone is closer to Peaches and Cream or French Vanilla? I asked.

Dont they know its not good to call skin by food names? Naomi asked, leaning in close to get a better view. The girl in this one looks like Emma Watson. Think she modeled for Hanes back in the day?

I shrugged.

She grabbed the one from my left hand. This one.

Mkay. Help me find all the ones in size small.

Naomi scrunched her nose and stepped toward the rack. Theres no kind of organization here. Why do you need so many?

Because they get more runs than a marathon, and I need enough for the whole speech and debate season. Coachs rules. If I ruin a pair each tournament, thats sixteen pairs.

You know, if you got some nicer quality ones, they probably wouldnt snag as much. Naomi looked behind a pile of tights to see if more Peaches and Cream nylons happened to be hidden there. Her black curls fell into her face, and she brushed her hair out of the way.

Like I have forty bucks to spend on a single pair of pantyhose, I said. Im seventeen and I dont have a job.

Naomi didnt reply. She just held out another package for me to add to the pile wed started collecting on the floor. This was why we were friends. She didnt judge me for my geeky love of speech and debate, and I didnt act awkward around her because she was taller than Taylor Swift and 99 percent of the boys basketball team.

Thanks again for driving me to the speech and debate barbecue, I said, gathering the pile up in my arms. Wed only found eight, but that would have to last until I could get more. And thanks for stopping here on the way.

If Id taken the bus, it would have eaten up half my day. And stopping for nylons would have added at least an hour to the trip. It wasnt like Boise, Idaho, was known for its impressive public transportation system. I definitely didnt need all that time alone with my thoughts right now. Then again, the whole point of this trip was to distract me from what was going to happen at the barbecue, so maybe I should have taken the bus after all.

Naomi slung an arm over my shoulders as we walked to the checkout.

Life wouldnt be worth living if I was actually on time for a game, she said, and a pang of guilt zipped through me.

Tell your volleyball coach its my fault, I said.

Naomi grinned. I always do, she sang. I tried to slug her in the arm, but she danced out of the way.

We made it to the front of the store and I let the nylons tumble to the counter. The worker raised his eyebrows, but I didnt feel like explaining why a high school senior needed so many pantyhose on a Friday night. Let him imagine what he would.

Septembers almost over, Naomi said to me as the worker scanned my items. Volleyball season ends soon anyway. If my coach hasnt cared before, she wont now.

What must that be like? I mused aloud. To have a coach who doesnt have a death grip on every detail of your life? Mine was a tyrannical robot in human skin. She controlled how I did my hair for tournaments (French twistclassy but alluring), how tight my skirt suit was allowed to be (just enough to remind judges Im a woman and should be taken seriously), and even the MAC Ruby Woo shade of lipstick I reapplied between each round (okay, full disclosure, I really loved that lipstick).

Forget your coach. And her opinions, Naomi said, helping the worker put all my nylons in a bag. Like, take tonight, for example. You nervous?

I grimaced. Id been doing so well at not thinking about it.

Naomi saw my expression and put a hand on my shoulder. See, Quinn? Thats what I mean. It makes zero difference what your coach thinks. Youre still A-plus team captain material, no matter who she announces at your speech and debate welcome barbecue thing.

I paid the cashier and we walked through the automatic doors and into the crisp fall air.

If she doesnt pick you, its her loss. You know youre the best on the team. Naomi clicked the button on her key fob, and her Jeep chirped.

Thats not true, I said, climbing in the passenger seat and placing the bag at my feet. Naomi turned the keys and I messed around with the temperature controls until I wasnt dying. This time of year always ping-ponged between hot and cold, and the leather interior of Naomis car magnified it by infinity. She could pick Grayson.

Grayson Hawks. My mouth twisted in distaste. He was the poster child for Tall, Dark, and Handsome, and he wore trendy hipster glasses that were all kinds of pretentious. He had everything in life handed to him, no matter if he deserved it or not. Spoiler, usually he didnt. Wed been competitors in practically everything since hed moved here, and he came out on top more times than I cared to admit. Sometimes I won, but he was always just there, making my life harder than it needed to be. In speech and debate, in school, in gym classit didnt matter what it was, he made it a competition.

Everyone loved a good-looking geek, especially someone as charismatic as Grayson. He had this perfect light brown skin and wavy black hair that looked so smooth and shiny. Everyone thought he walked on water, even though it was all a show. It really wasnt fair. He was almost guaranteed the team captain spot.

Hed probably do anything to get it too. Just like when he ran for class president junior year, when hed dated Zara, his only real competition, only to dump her right before the election speech so shed bomb it. He never denied the rumors either. My friend Carter asked him about it once and Grayson had only laughed. Who does that?

Naomi snorted as she backed out of the parking spot.

If your coach picks him, its because hes the governors son and shes playing favorites. As much as I think youre wrong about him, youre still the one whos been on the varsity team all four years.

Yeah, and once hed made varsity, hed proceeded to taunt and torment me at every competition. It was like he defaulted to some kind of annoying preset whenever I walked into the room. What made things worsehe routinely beat me at competitions. Like the universe had it out for me.

But I tried to believe Naomi. Tried to stop my racing heart from banging out of my chest. I wasnt sure if it was because I was anxious about tonight or simply because thinking about Grayson made my blood boil. I hummed along to the radio for a measure or two, but my throat turned dry and I swallowed instead.

More than anything, I really wanted to beat Grayson at