Derek Clendening - Larger than Life: A Gigantic Romantic Comedy

Larger Than Life: AGigantic Romantic Comedy

By Derek Clendening

Published by Rainbow Reader Press atSmashwords

Copyright 2014 Derek Clendening

Contents

Chapter 1

Let me tell you about George: he was ten feettall and weighed six hundred pounds! No, no, no, thats not right.He wasnt really that big at all. It just seemed like it at firstbecause he was so big and the rest of us were so small. Besides, Ihad enough trouble believing anyone could be as big as George was.For me, the first day of school had always ushered in the new andleft behind the old, which was something I really liked. Normalkids hated the first day of school. It meant the loss of summer,the loss of freedom and carefree days. But me, I loved the firstday backwho said I was normal?but I didnt realize the first dayof school in my senior year would be life-changing.

As always, I arrived early with a book in myhand and sat in the middle row, just a few desks up. I opened mybook and read until the other kids filed in. Their tired andmiserable looks told the whole story. The morning bell rang and westood for The Star Spangled Banner, doing the wholehand-over-the-heart thing, and listened to morningannouncements.

Mr. Williams, our English teacher, waited forus with his hands latched behind his back and his belly hangingout. Oh yeah, and his breast-like chest sagging (his goat-titsnickname speaks for itself, doesnt it?). He was one of those tweedjacket with leather elbow patches types of English teachernotreat, but I could live with him for a semester. The realexcitement would come from hearing his army stories even thoughhed only ever been in the reserves. For a guy whod never left theUnited States, he sure made it sound like hed fought in theworlds bloodiest battles.

This story issupposed to be about George, but I really cant move on until Ivementioned one last thing about Mr. Williams: his snot rag. He keptthat baby in his pocket and brought it out each time he needed toblow his nose and then stuffed it back into his pocket until thenext time he needed to empty his honker. The consensus in class isthat his famous snot rag hadnt been washed since the Reaganadministration. But I digress....

Attendance was taken and soon we were readyto get down to regular businessMr. Williams was stuffy enough tomake us to real work on the first day of classwhen a knock came atthe door. I didnt see anyone on the other side, like the personknocking had been trying to hide. But soon the doorway darkened.When Mr. Williams turned to look, his eyes widened and his jawdropped, like hed seen a ghost.

Come in. Mr Williams choked before he couldfinish his sentence. If youve got the right room then come in andget yourself seated.

I could tell right off that our teacher waslost for words, but I didnt know why. Then Mr. Williams motionedfor the student to enter like he or she needed more coaxingmuchmore coaxing. Finally, the boy I would soon come to know as Georgestepped through the door.

Only he didnt stroll straight through likethe other kids didlike anyone would, really. He ducked. Well, itwasnt just that he had to duck. He leaned in and turned a littleto squeeze himself into the room. Think of the way lots of peopletrying to pass through those tiny turnstiles at stadiums often haveto turn sideways to get through. It isnt uncomfortable per se, butboy is it a pain in the butt.

Before Id even taken a good long look atGeorge, I realized that his whole life must have been full of thoseinconveniences. Doorways were too small. I bet trying to fit into acar was no picnic. Ditto for the shower stall. Do I dare mentionthe bathroom? I used to think that Wal-Mart carried everything aperson could want, but they had a limit on clothing sizes,right?

Somehow, I failed to appreciate his size evenas he struggled to clear the door. Once he did, he stood to hisfull height. Thats when I first thought that he was ten feet tall.Only I knew that he wasnt anywhere near ten feet. He was muchtaller than a really big Christmas tree, though. He stood wellabove the chalkboards. In fact, Mr. Williams only stood up to hischest. If Id had to guess, I would have said that he was sevenfeet tall, but even that would have been conservative. He had to betaller than that even.

Six hundred pounds was a bad guess too, themore I thought about it. Even at such an incredible height, hewould have been pretty darned round and six hundred pounds. Hewasnt rail-thin or anything, but it wouldve been wrong to callhim husky. In fact, he was muscular in a lot of areas, especiallyhis arms.

His clothes seemed to fit him nicely, whichwas a surprise. How the heck does a guy whos anywhere near thatsize find clothes to fit him properly? You would think that hispants would be so short that you can see his ankles or that hisshirt would be short enough to show his stomach. But not withGeorge. I wondered where on earth he managed to find clothes thatfit him so nicely. They had to have been hand-made.

His hair was dark and thick and getting kindof long. His full beard wasnt that big of a deal for a high schoolsenior, but it was better than what any of the other kids inschool could grow. Most of them could barely fill their beards outwhereas George looked like hed been shaving since he was ten yearsold. Maybe eight. Im not saying he was a lumberjack or anything,but his beard was just full. Even without the beard, I think hecould have passed for being older.

One of the first details I noticed about himwas his hands. They were, well, big. But it wasnt just that he hadhuge hands; he had enormous fingers. They were long andthick like bananas. And then I peered down at his feet and wasstunned at the size of his shoes. I wear a mens eleven and I wassure that his shoes were twice that size. And thats where, for thefirst time, I havent exaggerated. Those shoes really had to havebeen twice the size of mine, which werent exactly small to beginwith.

I stared up at him. I guess there really wasno way to look at George except to look up. It wasnt that I wantedto gawk at him; I just couldnt help it. No one else in class couldhelp it either, it seemed, because no ones eyes had left him sincehed shown up. I understand that no one had ever seen someone thatbig in their whole lives, and there was no way they ever wouldagain, but they all had to whisper to each other. I was willing tobet that they were making jokes to. Whatever they hadnt said theywere definitely thinking.

Georges expression was blank and tired, likehe didnt want to be there. It was like he knew people were goingto stare at him. I bet he knew what they were whispering too, as ifhed heard that song and dance far too many times. When I thoughtof it that way, I stopped staring. My eyes didnt shift away fromhim exactly, but I refused to look at him with the sense of awe andwonder Id had when hed entered the room.

What youll also think is crazy is that Ithought George was handsome. Im not saying that he was going to beon the cover of People any time soon, but something abouthim was very appealing. Ive always liked all sorts of guys, so Iwasnt surprised by my odd attraction. I didnt hurt that he wastall, I guess. But I genuinely thought that he had a verynice-looking face. For a gargantuan, bearded guy, he had awholesomeness about him. The whole package was... well, it wasirresistible.

Of course, you have to consider those bighands. And his shoe size. Even if he werent seven-foot-whatever,those measurements were pretty sexy. You know what they say: bighands and big feet mean... ah hee hee hee.

He looked to be very strong, too. Like Isaid, he was just slightly muscular and not hulking, but I couldsee his biceps straining against his sleeves and the muscularoutline of his pecks beneath his shirt. I didnt know what thegirls in our class thought of him, but he was very handsome as faras I was concerned. I didnt care who disagreed. Im the kind ofkid that can think for himself.