Tyler Perry - Dont Make a Black Woman Take Off Her Earrings: Madeas Uninhibited Commentaries on Love and Life

THE MAKING OF MADEA

MADEAS SECRETS OF ROMANCE

MADEA ON LOVE AND MARRIAGE (OFTEN TWO COMPLETELY SEPARATE TOPICS)

KIDS! (ENOUGH SAID)

BEAUTY TIPS THAT REALLY WORK (MADEA TESTED AND APPROVED)

DONT ASK DR. MADEA

MISS MADEAS RULES OF ETIQUETTE

MADEAS REAL-LIFE SURVIVAL TIPS

MADEAS COMMENTARY ON THE GOOD BOOK (NOT THIS ONE)

MADEA SPEAKS HER MIND

MADEA CUTS TO THE CHASE

by Tyler Perry

W hoever came up with the saying that it takes a village to raise a child must have been thinking of my friend Madea. In the black community, Madea was the head of that village. Her name is the southern term for mother dear. Madea used to be on every corner in every neighborhood when I was growing up and generations before. She used to be everywhere, but today she is missed. Back around the 1970s, the Madeas in our neighborhoods began to disappear and they have left an unmistakable void.

Everybody wants this kind of grandmother around. No matter what race you are, everybody wants to have a Madea in their family. Shes not politically correct. She doesnt care about anything but what is honest and true. And she is always saying the least expected things. The other day, I asked Madea how she was feeling. She said, I woke up this morning with a little numbness on the side of my hip. But its all gone now. I just realized that I had slept on my vibrator.

People are so endeared to her because of her honesty. Thats why I think she is so beloved. Some people have even told me they think wed be better off if Madea were president of the United States. If that were the case, the country would be bankrupt, because she would spend all the money. I dont think the majority of the elite would approve of her policies. But the people would appreciate her as president. I think she would be as popular as President Clinton.

In the Madea administration, there would be no complicated international entanglements. There would be little if any talking with people of other cultures and other countries. If she doesnt speak the language, shes not one to sit there and wait for a translation. Madeas foreign policy would be There aint none. But we wouldnt have terrorists, either, because she would deal with them personally, from the bottom of her purse.

I think Madea has an opportunity to say everything that I cant say because, number one, Im a man, and women get away with saying things a lot more than a man would. In our society, women are given much more latitude than men to have emotions and to express them. And, number two, she has been around for more than a few decades, so she can get away with stating some opinions Id be afraid to say. And, number three, she just has a way of putting thingssometimes Ill have something I really want to say and then Ill just hear it coming out of Madeas mouth, in her own words.

In the beginning, I was really shocked about the things she said, the way she said them, and how she got away with it. But today Im pretty shockproof with regard to Madea. Whatever comes up comes out. You just have to be ready for it. Madea and I have different, extremely different, ideas about life, raising children, dietthe list goes on. But there is a line that we walk together: we are both very loving and caring people.

I remember a guy on the corner of my neighborhood who wanted to be a Madea. He would come out of his house every morning with the curlers in his hair and a bandanna and just look around and see what the kids were doing. He would then run and tell their parents. But he was kind of illegitimate.

Looking at the authentic ones (my mother and aunt included), these women were not trying to be this Madea person. The responsibility of the neighborhood simply fell upon them. If somebodys child was doing something wrong, Madea got to them and straightened them out or she would go directly to the parents, and the parents straightened the kids out.

With parents, caregivers, and Madea there to keep an eye out, it was easier to give kids a chance to spread their wings. We have to allow our children to make mistakes and not shelter them too much, which is hard to do. The key is finding the balance between allowing them to hit the wall and bump their head, and protecting them from things that are extremely dangerousthat can destroy them and take their lives.

Because there are so few Madeas, children are pretty much raising themselves. So many parents have to work hard just to make ends meet. Madea used to watch out for these children.

My friend Madea has attitude that comes with wisdom. Back in our teens and twenties, we thought we knew everything and made all those foolish mistakes. Then, when we got a little older, at thirty, we started getting these flashes of light, revelations of what a great and lucky thing it was that we didnt get caught doing those stupid things back then. Around forty, if were lucky, we stop lying to ourselves. Fifty and above, weve run out of patience for foolishness. Take me to the bottom line. When we get even older, it becomes more urgent. I dont have that much time, Im trying to enjoy my life, get away from me with your foolishness. Thats pretty much Madeas thoughts and way of life.