Chip St. Clair - The Butterfly Garden: Surviving Childhood on the Run with One of Americas Most Wanted

The Butterfly Garden is a work of art that transcends any memoir that I have ever read. This is a work that, once read, will never be forgotten.

Marc Klaas, child advocate and founder,
KlaasKids Foundation

The Butterfly Garden is a story of pain and despair, but more importantly, of astonishing courage and resiliency. It is a memoir, but also a mystery and a thriller, as Chip St. Clair tells of his tortured childhood at the hands of a sadistic father, a father with a dark and dangerous secret. The Butterfly Garden speaks to age-old themes of tragedy and triumph. But in the end, it is about the healing powers of hope and forgiveness. It is not to be missed.

Detroit Free Press

Chip St. Clair sets free a timeless work that will inspire. Its the only way to see whats really in a survivors heart.

Mark Lunsford,
The Jessica Marie Lunsford Foundation

From a childhood of abuse at the hands of an angry and violent father, Chip St. Clair discovered an inner world to cope and survive. Even though he lived at the edge of darkness and despair, Chips story of survival will inspire and give hope to many victims of child abuse.

United States Congressman Joe Knollenberg,
Michigan

Incredibly powerful. This will be an important book for years to come. If you dont understand the damage done to millions of American children by emotional and physical abuse, you need to read this book. If you understand it from firsthand experience, you especially need to read it, because Chip St. Clairs message about protecting others could change your life and the world.

Grier Weeks, Executive Director, PROTECT,
The National Association to Protect Children

The Butterfly Garden is a book that inspires the soul when we are surrounded by darkness.

Representative John Sinrud,
Montana, House Appropriations Chair

The Butterfly Garden is the gripping tale of growing up with a child murderer, yet, at the same time, it is the story of an adult-survivors personal search for justice. Chip St. Clair demonstrates that it is not only possible to evolve beyond ones dark past, but how the experience can fuel a crusade to make the world safer for others.

Randy Burton,
Burleson Cooke L.L.P.

Chip St. Clair brilliantly exemplifies the courage that remains in a child who has had his entire world destroyed on a regular basis by a perverse father the same courage that remains as an adult when he decides not only to confront his enslavement, but to bare his soul in this book. His courage makes him a hero, his prose makes him an artist. Chip St. Clair can write. Were it up to me The Butterfly Garden would be required reading in middle schools; perhaps fostering the chutzpah of young people willing to stand up and name their accusers. And demand societys retribution.

David Keith,
actor

Truly inspiring. The Butterfly Garden motivates and gives the reader strength from the heart and spirit, leaving the thought, If Chip can survive and thrive, so can I. A book everyone should read.

Ruth Frushour,
teacher, Troy Athens High School

Truly a great book! The Butterfly Garden is a riveting personal account of a child whose youth was tortured by a fathers cruel and abusive nature who one day rose above the torment. Chip St. Clair is an inspiration to me and others he has impacted over the yearsfor the sake of every child in a similar plight I hope he keeps the message alive and keeps spreading his wings.

Dave Gorcyca,
Oakland County Prosecutor

The

Butterfly

Garden A MEMOIR

Chip St. Clair

Health Communications, Inc.
Deerfield Beach, Florida
www.hcibooks.com

To protect the identity of certain individuals, some of the names have been changed.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

St. Clair, Chip.

The butterfly garden / Chip St. Clair.

p. cm.

eISBN-13: 978-0-7573-9807-0 (ebook) eISBN-13: 0-7573-9807-3 (ebook)

1. St. Clair, Chip. 2. Adult child abuse victimsUnited States Case studies. 3. Identity (Psychology)United StatesCase studies. 4. Family violenceUnited StatesCase studies. 5. Abusive parentsUnited StatesCase studies. 6. CriminalsUnited States Case studies. I. Title.

HV6626.52.S73 2007

362.764092dc22

[B]

2007041647

2007 Chip St. Clair

All rights reserved. Printed in the United States of America. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of the publisher.

HCI, its logos, and marks are trademarks of Health Communications, Inc.

Publisher: Health Communications, Inc.
3201 S.W. 15th Street
Deerfield Beach, FL 33442-8190

Cover design by Larissa Hise Henoch
Interior design and formatting by Lawna Patterson Oldfield

T his book is dedicated to
my friend, my love, my wife, Lisa
a butterfly from the moment
I laid my eyes upon her.

CONTENTS

PROLOGUE

CHAPTER 19 Master of My Fate

F IRST AND FOREMOST, my heartfelt gratitude to one of the strongest men I know, my father-in-law, Richard, and the memory of his wonderful wife, Karen.

For your passion and belief in this project from the beginning: Peter Rubie, Allison Janse, and the entire HCI family.

For your leadership, commitment, and dedication to fighting the good fight: John Walsh, Mark Lunsford, Marc Klaas, Alison Arngrim, Congressman Joe Knollenberg, Senator Mike Bishop, Prosecutor Dave Gorcyca, Sheriff Michael Bouchard, Representative David Law, Representative John Sinrud, and Randy Burton.

For all who believed in me, supported me, and inspired me... all of my many good friends and those I consider family you know who you are.

And last but not least... William Ernest Henley.

The unexamined life is not
worth living for man.

Plato (469339 BC)
Attributed to the character Socrates
in Platos Apology dialogue

T HERE IS FOR ALL of us a profound moment of truth that lies in waita moment that transfixes our attention and forces us to confront the essential questions in life: Who am I? What is my purpose?

For some, this moment is a blip on the radar soon ignored, a wayward stroke of insight never again considered. Yet for others it sparks enlightenment, a process of personal evolution through introspection. My moment of truth came in the form of a large, black trunk with a brass latch, when I was twenty-two. I remember the day I found it in my parents home, secreted away in a place forbidden to me as a child. My own Pandoras Box.

That day, my fiance Lisa and I tentatively entered my parents apartment, and although no one was homenor ever would be againmy heart raced with anxiety. I was looking for something, but I wasnt sure what.

We traced our way through rooms I had been in hundreds of times, searching through drawers and closets, finding nothing. We eventually made our way to the staircase. As we ascended, my legs became heavy, my steps slow and deliberate. If anything was to be found it would be in the room at the top of the stairstheir bedroom. Reaching the upper landing, I grasped the handle of the door before I could lose my nerve. With a quick glance at Lisa, I turned the knob and walked in.