Crimp - Dealing with Clair

Martin Crimp DEALING WITH CLAIR NICK HERN BOOKS London www.nickhernbooks.co.uk ContentsDealing with Clair was first performed at the Orange Tree Theatre, Richmond, on 13 October 1988, with the following cast:

JAMES	Tom Courtenay
MIKE	John Michie
LIZ	Julia Hills
CLAIR	Janine Wood
ANNA	Anna Mazzotti
ASHLEY/VITTORIO/TOBY	Matthew Sim
Director	Sam Walters
Designer	Anne Gruenberg

Dealing with Clair was revived at the Orange Tree Theatre, Richmond, in a co-production with English Touring Theatre on 26 October 2018, with the following cast:

CLAIR	Lizzy Watts
MIKE	Tom Mothersdale
LIZ	Hara Yannas
ANNA	Roseanna Frascona
JAMES	Michael Gould
ASHLEY/VITTORIO/TOBY	Gabriel Akuwudike
Director	Richard Twyman
Designer	Fly Davis
Lighting Designer	Joshua Carr
Sound Designer & Composer	Alexandra Faye Braithwaite
Costume Supervisor	Lisa Aitken
Movement Director	Shelley Maxwell
Casting Director	Serena Hill

Characters JAMES, a cash-buyer MIKE, thirty LIZ, thirty CLAIR, twenty-five, negotiator to the vendors ANNA, seventeen, the vendors Italian nanny ASHLEY, twenty-five, a tradesman VITTORIO, twenty-two, a friend of Anna TOBY, twenty-five, a colleague of ClairSet The place is London, the month August with the exception of the final scene which takes place in October of the same year. There are three locations: 1. A room in the vendors house. Doorways to hall and kitchen. A tall sash window faces north. 2.

Clairs flat. A small studio room. 3. The vendors garden. Note A comma on a separate line indicates a pause, the exact during of which must be determined from the context. The sound of a high-speed train approaching. The sound of a high-speed train approaching.

As it reaches maximum, the light comes up to reveal CLAIR talking on the phone at night in her tiny flat. The train passes right outside the window. Only as it recedes can we hear her speak. CLAIR.simply that we are in the middle of it and so of course theres a certain amount of aggression which we must deal with. We must deal with it but Aggression, aggression, aggression not Aggression, not violence. But that that that is what I enjoy. But that that that is what I enjoy.

That is what I am good at, okay? What risk? Youre being ridiculous. Sound of a train approaching. She raises her voice. Im not angry. Im not angry, Im just trying to explain okay, I sound angry, but Im not angry, Im just trying to explain one or two things, one or two things about The train passes, making it momentarily impossible to speak. Toby? (Laughs.) Toby is history. Toby? (Laughs.) Toby is history.

I will never forgive him for what happened in the restaurant. What? Didnt I tell you? Didnt I tell you what happened in the restaurant? The bill? Okay, theres what? six of us? eight of us? in this smart Italian place (are you sure I didnt tell you about this?) Okay, so were celebrating opening the new office (because suddenly weve got new offices opening everywhere its insane) and anyway Anyway, when the bill comes the assumption quite naturally is that we will divide it, we will divide it by six or by eight or by however many of us there are. As you do. Exactly. But then Toby, Toby, Toby starts this business where he says that the two of us (as if were some kind of married couple) that the two of us have had less than the others. Exactly.

Of course its not appropriate, But he asks for the menu back and he makes (can you believe this?) makes everyone calculate their own separate totals at which point I want to Well exactly: die. And of course the separate totals no way do they add up to the exact amount on the bill. But he wont let it rest, he just goes on and on and on about who drank this, who ate that Sound of train approaching. She raises her voice. who had coffee, who didnt have coffee. The train passes. The train passes.

CLAIR rummages in her bag. Yup, yup, yup, of course Im listening. Im just looking for Im just looking for No I am not looking for a cigarette. You know Ive given up. She produces a cigarette. Yes, I promise you Ive given up.

Im just one moment She rummages for her lighter. Of course Im still here, just I cant find my diary Yes, yes diary diary should be here in my bag I am not lying. I know it kills you. And thats why Ive stopped, okay? (Brightly.) Listen, did I tell you Ive decorated? Thats right. Bank Holiday Monday. Ive done the whole place in a kind of (Looks round the room.) a kind of well I suppose its what youd call neutral, its not really a colour, its a kind of nothing, just a kind of nothing sort of what? Live with it? I wont be living with it.

Yes I know Ive only just bought it, but I didnt buy it to live in it, I bought it to sell it, as you well know. And anyway, whats wrong with neutral? A train passes, but faintly in the distance. She tips out the contents of her bag, finds lighter, clicks it, no flame. Sorry? I was dreaming. What? Well I know you and Dad wouldntve thought that way. I know you were grateful just to have a home.

I know you had to economise. I know you had to make sacrifices but the worlds just not like that any more. Why should we make sacrifices? Sacrifices for what? I dont have anyone to make sacrifices for, and I certainly dont intend to sacrifice myself thank you very much. And I happen to be very happy with my life. Well Im sorry. Im sorry if I dont sound happy.

Just tell me what happy sounds like okay? Well exactly. Thank you. And besides, its not for ever. Selling houses. Its not for ever. (Laughs.) Thats right. Vanish. Sound of a train approaching. Sound of a train approaching.

CLAIR goes to the window.(Laughs.) Of course you can come too. Ill buy you both a mansion on the beach. Exactly: right next to the water. All that sand and blue sea. She laughs and turns to the window. The rush and whine of the train continuesfinally fading away as the light comes up on the next scene. A room in the vendors house. A room in the vendors house.

Morning. CLAIR stands exactly as in the previous scene, in front of a tall window, her back turned. MIKE stands on the other side of the room, looking at her. After a long silence, she senses his look and turns. Both smile. MIKE.

Look, Im sorry, I havent shown you the garden. CLAIR. I dont think I need to go out there. MIKE. Im afraid it faces north. CLAIR.

Yes, but its a garden. Both faint laugh. The plant along the wall MIKE. Yes, thats a vine. CLAIR. Right, thats good.

Vines are a good feature. MIKE. Yes, thats why we put it in, Im afraid. Because we liked it as it was, but weve tried to do as much as we can out there with an eye to selling. CLAIR. MIKE. MIKE.