Crimp - Play house: and, Definitely the Bahamas

I love you so much. You fill the whole frame of my being. I go to sleep thinking about you and wake up with your voice winding through my head. Your eyes are so clear. If your eye was a well and I dropped a stone into it, that stone would never stop falling Im serious. I dont believe in God, but I do believe in you. I believe you created me. Thats why I feel alive with you here now in our new home. Before I was just clay.

You mean like a lump.

Yes before I was just a lump of clay. But now Im alive. You have created me. Im serious.

She smiles.

You have an incredible smile.

She passes him a wrapped item.

Whats this?

Open it.

For me?

Open it.

He unwraps the gift: theres a cardboard box like a cake-box with a hinged lid. He raises the lid and reacts to the contents.

Whats this? Dog shit?

She tries not to laugh.

I just had my mum on the phone.

Your mum? What did your mum want?

Oh shes upset seems my dad had a nervous breakdown. (He looks at her.) What?

I didnt know people said that.

Nervous breakdown? Of course they do.

They continue to clean the fridge.

Is he in hospital?

Of course they do. Because the trouble with you

Oh?

Yes the trouble with you is you think you know better than everyone else.

They continue to clean the fridge.

You dont have to look so hurt. After all, this is not about you, Simon its about my dad its actually about my whole family. Its about a whole interconnected series of bad choices of which my dads just one element. Because theres a whole cluster of genetic well I wont go into that now but also psychological and even political shit a onstellation of issues adoption attempted rape within which my father is simply one faint star whose light barely reaches us.

Having said that

Oh?

Yes having said that, I still dont trust her.

Your mother?

Well youve seen how she behaves. And since I moved in with you, shell say anything to get my attention.

They continue to clean the fridge.

About your dad?

About herself. About her wasted life. About her fear for her own safety. Because well okay, Mister I-Know-Everything you were right it wasnt a nervous breakdown he had a psychotic episode.

Pause.

Your dad did?

Seems she woke up and found hed set fire to the bedroom curtains. Oh shit.

What?

Theres mould on this yoghurt.

Chuck it.

Where are you?

(Off.) Brushing my teeth.

Pause.

You know I was thinking about what you were saying.

(Off.) What?

Pause.

I said: I was thinking about what you were saying. About children? Katrina?

Pause.

Because on my way to the station I saw some going into the park. They were going in one at a time. In a row. Tiny ones. Are you listening?

Pause.

And what they had was a rope. Which they each held on to so they wouldnt get lost. You shouldve heard them all chattering holding on to this long blue rope. Because its exactly what you were saying. About children. Katrina?

He gets up, now puzzled by her failure to react.

Katrina? I said: its exactly the thing we were talking about.

He goes out. A moment passes.

(Off, softly.) Oh my God.

He returns with his arm round her shoulder. She has one hand up to her mouth, which is bloody.

Come on. Come on. Use this. What happened?

She dabs at her mouth with whatever hes given her.

What happened? Katrina?

She makes a gesture to be left alone, and goes on dabbing and spitting out blood.

Very loud music: Wynonie Harris, My Playful Babys Gone.

Completely absorbed in one another, they dance.

Doorbell.

They take no notice. They go on dancing.

Doorbell again.

(Calls out.) Go away! Were dancing!

Doorbell again.

I said go away!

They go on dancing. They get more and more into it.

Doorbell again.

Fuck off!

Fuck off! Go away! Fuck off!

Continuous doorbell.

They go on dancing, continuous doorbell just audible through the music. Finally Simon breaks away and goes off.

Doorbell stops but music continues.

He comes back, turns off the music, looks at her.

Silence.

Who was it?

No one.

I love that song.

Me too.

Whats that?

(Shrugs.) Found it.

Hes holding a card and a torn-open envelope. He brandishes the card and chuckles.

What? What?

She tries to take the card, he snatches it back. They both play around with the card till she finally secures it. She reads it aloud.

Dear neighbours, when I listen to you dancing or hear you make love, I so want to dance with you or make love too. You see you cannot imagine how Whats that word?

Unimaginably.

imagine how unimaginably? You cannot imagine how unimaginably hurt and (Turns card.) lonely I am. But I am not asking for your pity. No. Do not pity me. I just need you to know that I exist and think your lives must be beautiful. Ian.

Ian? Whos Ian?

Or it could be Jon or Jan perhaps. It could say Jan.

A woman?

Simon consults a mobile device throughout.

Well of course sometimes it was bad. Sometimes when he was drunk it would just go on and on and Id be thinking Im not enjoying this, please let it stop. But at other times I was excited and did it because I loved him. He was my first love and I loved him. I was calm and relaxed with him then tense. I needed his approval but at the same time wanted to drive a bolt through his forehead like they do in a slaughterhouse. He said: well go on then try it. Then got down on all fours like an animal. (She smiles.) God my dad hated him.

What is it youre doing?

Mmm?

I said what is it youre / doing?

(Not looking up from device.) Well you know how Kant said you should never lie even if a soldier comes into your house and asks where your children are I mean with the intention of killing them and Kant said you must never lie you must say, Well my children are in the wardrobe or I dont know my children are out in the garden, playing on the swing. Well Im just checking that Kant actually said that.

He carries on tapping the tiny keys.

No apparent change from Scene Five. Simon is tapping at the same mobile device. Silence apart from the tapping.

Huh!

What?

The batterys dead.

It cant be.

Whatre you doing?

I want to see.

You dont need to see. Im telling you: its dead.

Dont talk to me like that.

Im sorry?

Dont talk to me in that condescending way. Who dyou think you are?

The batterys dead. I dont need confirmation.

But its brand new. Its a brand new phone, Simon. I spent money on that! Come on. Show me.

He gives her the phone. She deftly takes it apart, removing the battery etc .