Dominic Knight - Strayan Dictionary: Avo, Arvo, Mabo, ScoMo and all the essential Strayan words

First published in 2019

Copyright Dominic Knight 2019

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher. The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or 10 per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to the Copyright Agency (Australia) under the Act.

Allen & Unwin

83 Alexander Street

Crows Nest NSW 2065

Australia

Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

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Web: www.allenandunwin.com

ISBN 978 1 76052 935 2

eISBN 978 1 76087 300 4

Cover and internal design by Design by Committee

Cover images: BigStock [avocado, sandpaper, cane toad and ugg boots] / iStock [ute] / Shutterstock [beer] / AAP Image/Julian Smith [sausage sandwich]

Set by Bookhouse, Sydney

Please note that many Australian words, customs and people are explored in detail in my previous book, StrayapediaIve tried not to repeat myself, which is why, for instance, this book doesnt have an extremely long and unkind entry on Melbourne, or a detailed explanation of the bizarre history of Vegemite.

This book contains no facts whatsoever, and if anything within reminds you of a fact, youre definitely mistaken. This is all the more true if youre thinking of suing, in which case the passage you object to was ironic, and the words that have offended you should be read as the sincerest praise.

CONTENTS

A.AAARDVARK The first entry in every category of the Yellow Pages, a business-oriented phone book that was a primitive print version of Google. A.AAARDVARK businesses generally arent known for their quality, and are unlikely to provide real aardvarks.

A.AAARDWOLF Inspired by another African animal with an alphabetically convenient name, this is the moniker that el cheapo businesses settle for when someone has already taken A.AAARDVARK.

Abbott, Tony The 28th prime minister of Australia. His chief achievements were becoming the 28th prime minister, deposing the 29th prime minister, and thereby inadvertently installing the 30th prime minister. Abbotts part in these leadership shenanigans, along with his devotion to opposing action on climate change, and change in general, led him to lose his own seat to Zali Steggall at the 2019 election.

As a private citizen, he now devotes his legendary talent for opposition to railing against his wifes socialist housework roster, while he waits optimistically for a knighthood.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islanders The owners of the entire Australian continent, according to property law, international law, equity, the laws of dibs and the time-honoured rules of front-seat shotgun.

Acca Dacca A nickname for the band AC/DC which, unusually for an Australian nickname, takes just as long to say as the original.

Adani Though it derives from Indias giant Adani Group and its founder Gautam Adani, in the Australian context the word is shorthand for the proposed Carmichael coal mine in Queenslands Galilee Basin. This would be one of the worlds largest mines, and hasten the destruction of the Great Barrier Reef, both through the carbon emissions warming the ocean, and the ships that would transport the coal through the Reef. The ships damage, admittedly, wont matter quite as much after the Reef is finally dead.

And yet even though the environmental impact would be disastrous, most major international banks have refused to finance it, and coal is dying as a means of energy generation, none of these things matter in comparison to the prospect of mining jobs for a thousand-odd Queenslanders. Plus, as coal mines are becoming so rare nowadays, Adani will no doubt become a tourist attraction that makes up for the visitors lost with the Reef.

Though only just commenced, the Adani project has already provided the environmental movement with some valuable lessons, such as the futility of a bunch of southern greenies marching north to try and stop a job-creating project in Queensland.

Adelaide A picturesque town known as the city of churches due to the large diversity of religious faiths who built houses of worship in the city during its early days, and because Adelaide is still so skyscraper-free that the churches continue to dominate the skyline. Adelaides vast array of places of worship has also come in handy for funerals over the years, what with all the serial killings.

Nowadays, Adelaide is renowned for its pleasant riverside setting, the fine wine produced in its surrounds, and its cloying social conservatismnon-South Australians may be surprised to learn that in SA, Alexander Downer is considered daring and radical.

Every year the renowned Adelaide Festival takes over the city in April, bringing an air of immense excitement, creativity and vibrancy to Adelaide by filling its small CBD with people who arent from Adelaide.

Advance Australia Fair Our national anthem, chosen by a plebiscite in 1977 until its replaced by something better like Waltzing Matilda, Locomotion or Khe Sanh. Even Hot Potato by the Wiggles would be an improvement.

Among its many problems is that a country that is home to the worlds oldest surviving culture is hardly young, while the word free is the height of irony for a former penal colonyand then theres girt. The original lyrics of Dodds McCormicks ditty also contained some fairly nauseating lines about true British courage, very little of which was on display during all the massacres of Indigenous Australians.

The main virtue of Advance Australia Fair, however, is that it is not God Save The Queen.

Aerial ping-pong A supposedly dismissive nickname for Australian Rules football, although in truth, the idea of table tennis played in mid-air is extremely exciting and cool, and anyone going to an AFL game expecting aerial ping-pong is likely to be disappointed.

Afterpay A revolutionary Australian financing system that, by spreading payments across eight weeks, makes it easier for people across the world to purchase things they cant really afford.

Albanese, Anthony The leader of the Labor Party, as at the time of writing. Hes known as a heart-on-sleeve true-believer type, so much so that he once even wept during a press conference over Kevin Rudds removal, to the surprise of everyone who remembered Kevin Rudd.

Albanese is an unusual choice for Labors leadership because he hails from the partys left, or the too-idealistic-to-win faction. Consequently, despite being elected unopposed, the rights superior talent for machinations means that hes unlikely to be Labor leader by the time this book comes out.

This would be an unwise political assassinationlike many that the Labor right have attempted in recent yearsas Albo shares with the late Bob Hawke a jocular likeability and a universally used nickname. The overwhelming sense that hed be a good person to go on a pub crawl with, although hardly a demonstration of fitness for office, is probably his best hope of getting elected, especially when its remembered that most of his colleagues are either entirely unknown or actively disliked.