Laura Jensen Walker - Mentalpause and Other Midlife Laughs
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2001 by Laura Jensen Walker
Published by Revell
a division of Baker Publishing Group
P.O. Box 6287, Grand Rapids, MI 49516-6287
www.revellbooks.com
Spire edition published 2012
Ebook edition created 2012
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any meansfor example, electronic, photocopy, recordingwithout the prior written permission of the publisher. The only exception is brief quotations in printed reviews.
Scripture quotations are from the Holy Bible, New International Version. NIV. Copyright 1973, 1978, 1984 by Biblica, Inc. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com
As a thirtysomething mother of five, Ive just decided that I need to add one more thing to my gotta do before Im forty list, and that is reread Laura Jensen Walkers hilarious book, Mentalpause. This laugh-out-loud books fresh approach to those middle years gives me the courage to smile at the future.
Ellie Kay,bestselling financial humorist
Lauras new book is a cup of cool water to women all over the country who keep asking, Is it hot in here to you? Its the perfect refreshment for midlife women in need of some encouragement, camaraderie, and laughter.
Becky Freeman,speaker and bestselling author
They say the mind is the first thing to go... at least, I think thats what they say.
Wheres my face and what have you done with it?
Ive only just begun... to sag.
It ends after a few days, but menopause just keeps on goin.
Is it hot in here, or is it just me?
Those hot flashes sure arent prettyor going away anytime soon.
Overnight, small brown dots mysteriously appeared... right above my middle-age spread.
One line leads to another.
And the ears arent doing too great either.
My tastebuds may still be young, but my stomachs not what it used to be.
Just when did I become one?
A scientific, important list no woman over forty should ever be without.
Women have hormonal ups and downs, but men buy motorcycles.
For Scrabble, Spades, or any bedroom games that start with S.
Better step back from the waterworks that threaten to explode at the slightest provocation.
Lost in space... or gone with the wind.
Ah, how the language of love changes over the years.
She just never told me theyd last for months.
Use it to absorb those hot flash sweats. (And other ways to take care of your over-forty self.)
by Martha Bolton
H ot flashes, night sweats, mood swings, uncontrollable crying for no apparent reasonsound like fun? Of course not. Nobody looks forward to dealing with the symptoms of menopause, but just like you have to tell yourself in the waiting room of your dentists officeget ready, your turn is coming.
Middle age seems to hit men differently. They dye their hair, shop in the youth section of department stores, buy a brand-new red sports car, change the settings on their radio from talk to pop, and start conversing in a sort of middle-age hip language that few understand, saying things like, Im goin down to the shuffleboard court to hang with my homies or Yo, wheres my corn pads? Its sad, but I still say they have it easier than women. Men dont have to worry that their next hot flash is going to set their clothes ablaze, or that someday theyre going to drown in their sleep during a Perfect Storm sized night sweat. Their moods dont swing between Betty Crocker and Lizzie Borden, and they dont break down crying watching FedEx commercials. Even if a middle-aged man starts dressing like John Travolta in his disco days, while thats serious, its still not nearly as bad as what women have to go through.
So how do women cope? How else? By laughing about it! Maybe not about all of it, but certainly those areas where we can laugh. After all, if we have to hit middle age (and so far theres no detour around it), then why shouldnt we have as much fun with it as possible?
Thats what Laura has done within the pages of this book. With her usual wit and wisdom, shes reminded us that there is a funny side to getting older, just like theres a funny side to every stage of our life. We tend to forget that. Its there. Its always there. But its up to us to look for it. When you think about the diligence with which we look for those new wrinkles or grey hairs, looking for a little humor in these over-forty years seems a lot more profitable.
Laura has also learned that life is precious. We have to savor every moment and make it last. Yesterday is gone. We have little control over tomorrow. All we have is today! Its up to us not to waste it. And in my opinion, a hearty laugh is proof that we havent wasted the day.
So read, laugh, and enjoy! And remember not to let those ol age spots get to you. Theyre going to come anyway. You cant fight it. So just do what I do. Wait til they connect, then pass them as off as a tan!
Martha Bolton
Staff writer for the late Bob Hope
Author of over forty books, including I Love You... Still and Didnt My Skin Used to Fit?
W hen you write a book on midlife and all the attendant ms that go along with it, menopause, mood swings, memory loss... its kind of hard to remember everyone to thank, but Ill give it the good old middle-aged try.
First, my heartfelt thanks to everyone who so graciously shared their funny midlife stories with me: Charlotte Adelsperger, Jerry Bauman, Judi Braddy, Kathy Christensen, Peggy Clark, Jan Coleman, Barb Colwell, Lisa Jensen Cook, Debbie Cullifer, Susie Dayton, Merrie Douglas, Marjean DuPree, Eve Dorf, Lonnie Hull DuPont, Carolyn Elder, Bettie Eichenberg, Cathy Evans, Karen Graham, Karen Grant, Jean Griswold, Sharon and Jim Hetland, Maria Hunt, Kat Hunter, Sheri Jameson, Ruth Kenney, Sue Lenart, Pat and Ken McLatchey, Bonnie Mouw, Diana Nelson, Joyce Pope, Char Roushia, Beverly Pierce Stroebel, Jill Vanderbrug, June Varnum, Carolyn White, Charles and Mary West, Katie Young, and Trisha. Although every anecdote didnt make it into the book, I appreciate all your contributions.
Special thanks to Karen Grant who let me spend a delightful morning interviewing her and who gave me gobs and gobs of great menopausal stuff to use.
Ditto to my longtime friends Pat and Ken McLatchey and to my sweet sister-in-law Sheri Jameson and her friends, Merrie and M. J.
A very special thanks to my funny writer friend Jan Coleman who promptly responded to my frantic last-minute phone call and helped me brainstorm the Middle-Age Top 40 chapter when my brain was in severe mentalpause overload. Jan, youre a lifesaver!
Continued thanks to my talented poet friend Katie Young for her invaluable humorous input and... actually, this time Im not going to list all my thanks to you, Katie. After all, I dedicated the book to youwhat more could you want? Love ya, DaVinci.
Deepest gratitude and love to my mom and my sister (thanks for the great dropped derriere anecdote, Lee) whom Im proud to call not only relatives but friends.
To my computer whiz nephew Josh who rode gallantly to the rescue when my laptop crashedright on deadline: Gigabyte thanks. Or is it megabyte? Whatever. Josh, youre my computer hero.
Love and thanks to my best friend Lana whos not quite at that middle-age point yet so couldnt contribute any up close and personal stories of her own, but who was as supportive as always of my writing. Besides, your midlife day will come, babe. (Those bifocals I was surprised to see you pull out at Christmas are only the beginning.... )
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